Dear Precious,

Mommy loves you.

You are the complete adoration of my selfless soul. What joy and learning experience it will be to watch you grow!

You aren't even here yet, but I know you are patiently waiting to come through. Funny thing you may want to know; your mommy is patiently waiting too!

I pray to God He gives me the tools I need to be the perfect mother. That I can truly provide you with the world you deserve, and to make you the greatest King or Queen you were born to be.

I will teach you about loss and I will teach you about love. I will show you the beauty in lillies and the purity of a dove. I will introduce you to adventures and the rising of the sun, and I will teach you how to capture fire flies when the day is done.

I will do my best to help you understand pain, and show you that even a rainbow cannot exist without rain. You will know the gift of a father and will know the love of a much higher power.

My precious soul child you, I will do everything in my power to love, honor, and rightfully protect you. So do not be afraid to come down to this silly earth, there is far too much to see.  Come down for a visit and be with me.

You will understand one day what it is to be in my shoes, and I will always be at your side, whether in physical or spiritual form, to guide you.

My precious soul child wherever you may be, I will always be waiting.

Love You Forever,
Mom

I
Years and years of yearning
Dreams and dreams depressing
I fly back, back on the wings of memory
And time my pilot be
For  time's grey hands yet swings
Ticking away behind sturdy wings
Backwards i journey humming like the bird
Past-ward to scenes
And sounds once seen
Once heard

Tearful laughter, painful joys
Youthful blunders - silent noise

Over and over, the flames rise
Over and over, storms in our eyes
Blue nights that once upon were
Who was there, what was fair

I write of a past once veiled
Lonesome,
        dark memories i reveal
I will speak of choking,
        muffled yells
Pain. Depression. Fear - Hell

II
"Ah, say berries taste sweeter red
Their juices free as more they bled"

But who taught the kid to feed?
Nanny dumb; he nipped the ****
More so, as like a log she lay
Dogs shall school your kid to play

Yet should we upon mores lay blame
Cholerous slight culture's game
Slay her players with a Poisoned Placard
Aces. Queens. Kings. Protesters. Playing card

No, i shall not cheer my own fall - come
Sit with me, give me your hand, come -
Though you are broken, hold -
Proud. Resilient. Bold.
I call to you, "come father,
Tell me what house fire make the kites gather,
What color, the smoke of marijuana?
Your girlfriend - is she really from Ghana?
Will you have stone if i gave you meat,
Tell me, what is it you do in corners of dark streets!?"

when i was a little girl
i thought my daddy hung the moon
he worked a lot
but i had the best daddy in the world

when i got a little older
i started to go to my friends' house to play
and i saw their daddies
their daddies were home every day and night
their daddies loved their mommies
their daddies had time for their little girls
but maybe
my daddy just worked a lot. . .

when i was barely a teen
my mommy died
a week later
my dad brought over a new mommy
(but daddy loved mommy)
my dad started telling me lies
(i don't think daddy lied to me..)
my dad has more time for his girlfriends than he does for me
(daddy's only girls were mommy and me)

in my last year of high school
my father left and bought a house
1,102 miles away
he still thinks he's daddy.

When you tell your daughter that your life has been a series of near car crashes
Forgive her for mistaking the gloss behind your eyes - as nostalgia for a wreck that could have been
Forgive her for clawing her skin with the intent of stirring a tornado so violent she could match your presence
You taught her to see you as a fatality; too late to be saved, too proud to be held

Remember that an animal licking it's wound does so out of self-preservation, not self-pity
Remember that saline is salt water and tears need to be shed and that humans are capable of healing

Remember to feel
Teach her to pummel her fists
Teach her to shout down the boys

Remember the hollow below your heart that echoes like an abandoned house
When ivy grows out from her chest cavity and encapsulates all around you
Remember that she is not unruly
She merely sees within you a potency to create beauty

And consider her ability to grow and grow and grow
Encourage her to expand
Be mindful that little girls should never need permission to occupy space
Be humble - she may even teach you a thing or two

If I had to give my son advice,
To, on his little life, shed light:
I'd say don't do drugs, and if you do.
Do Class C in the mornings,
And Class A's at night.
If you're gonna do it, do it right.

If I had to give my son advice,
To save his little heart from pain:
I'd say never love at a distance;
Your heart will succumb to a lonely bind.
For words, are far too nervous,
and probably won't get there on time.

If I had to give my son advice,
So his smile remains a genuine jewel,
I'd say be sure to marry a writer.
Smile as much as you possibly can,
And if they feel it worth defending
They will rewrite, and edit out your problems,
And give you a happy ending.

Feedom gives strength and courage to innocence whilst a short leash stunts passion and bravery

dear little one
today me and your momma
heard your heart beats for the first time
164 beats per minute pulsating to pump
life into you.

I have yet to see your face, but I want you to know
I love you.  My heart beats to the rhythm of life like yours.
Thank you for coming into my life.