Cut off God’s thirteenth finger,
It brings the world bad luck.

At the supper of the twelve,
It traded life with a kiss on the cheek!
A tree held a rope for it,
So it could trade the life back!

Number thirteen of the twelve,
Died in a non-existent hotel room.

The dead speak tales of the one,
Who’s kiss killed the sun.
Blew out the world’s candle,
And slaughtered god’s cattle.
Loaded three long nights into a gun...
And pulled the trigger!

When you think of me I hope that you smile,
not think about how i suffered for a while ..
I'm sorry I couldn't get better
This is my suicide letter...

Please know its not your fault you never could've known
but this sadness has lingered far too long and secretly had grown.
I couldn't tell you tho, cuz i didn't have the heart,
i couldnt bear to see it in your eyes when i told you we would part.
Don't ever think that you weren't enough, i swear you almost saved me.
But this world is so corrupt, please know that i love you baby...
And mother don't waste a prayer on me, I'm unsavable.
I tried to help myself but I'm incapable.  
No meds no therapist no ******* psych ward,
Nothing could save me not even your dear Lord
Your unconditional love was unbelievable
Your kindness and big heart, unbeatable
And to my father, I know im appearing weak
I'm sorry I couldn't be strong like you raised me to be
You showed me discipline but also affection
It's not your fault I took to this direction
To my sister, you were always there for me
I was psychotic and you made me feel accepted and free
I will never forget how understanding you were
But the rest of my life feels like a ****** up blur
To my brother, you protected me and were my inspiration
Teaching me what you knew and your beautiful dedication
I couldn't have asked for better surroundings to grow up by
I know you're reading this and asking "then, why?"

I dont even ******* know...

There's no way to explain this empty pit in me
There's no end in sight to this dark misery
I'm surrounded by loved ones yet i feel alone
I feel darkness deep inside and cold to the bone
Let these cuts release the demons that have made me this way
I'll be free from this world before tonight turns to day
The world will keep spinning and nothing will change
My soul will be free as just my body remains
Be happy for me cuz I escaped the dark
And now i can stay peacefully in your hearts

Thank you all for trying your best
But now i must go, and put my soul to rest

she ran
from non-existent footsteps
paranoia
kicking in
from a lack of meds.

a white
metal
locked
shack.
with the stench
of bodies.

a stuffy nose
at the worst time
promised her demise.

a peek
in the window
peaked
her curiosity.
with only a splash of red.

another window
left open
to air out the stench
led to
no-longer-****** bodies

and she screamed
but not for very long
because the knife
peirced her neck
and the scream
turned into silence.

Why doesn’t my heart seem to understand?
Why can’t I breathe even with lungs?

Many people notice how hard I fight.
Yet many make it worse.

Will this hurt last for eternity?
Will my pain become my only reality?

I got a tattoo for my best friend,
It’s a tombstone,
And every time someone sees it they tell me “I’m so sorry for your loss”

I say that’s okay, she’s alive, we just have a morbid sense of humor,
And they look at me strangely,
Like there’s something wrong with me,
And I always reply,
If I can’t laugh at death, how can I live without fear of dying?

We are not promised tomorrow,
There’s a chance this second could be our last,
My lungs could refuse to **** in air,
Your heartbeat could stutter out at any moment,

Why worry about that ticking tick?
Let me laugh about it now,
So when death does come for me, just like he will come for you,
I can greet him as an old friend,
Instead of the monster we all dream of.