I feel ******* drugged
I mean... yeah... I guess I am...
Artificial feelings
Laughing a bit too long...
Missing things...
Miscounting..
I’m just... scattered
But I feel okay
I feel better...?

I breath in and I breath out all the poison you put in me. You stabbed me in the leg but you were on some meds, You said we were playing and now life is just a game that I don't want to play. 

The meds they get you and I guess I don't. The meds went first and I didn't even think to ask twice.

Sometimes you get a little funny on them like say Buenas nachos instead of saying buenas nochez.

Then other times it would sadden me to see you on these meds because the meds took your soul, an the worse night came.

One night I had to watch you but I had to shut my door as you laid up in the other room screaming I want to **** myself. I couldn't reason with you so I had to leave you in your own demise. 

My heart was saddened but I don't think anyone in that house had a will to live but more so a will to leave.

An you were stranded in your own mind and desert of a heart to the point where you were stuck without water and in now where's land.

i’ve been letting the duloxetine
melt on my tongue
in the hopes of speeding up the process
of tricking my brain into quiet

like maybe the bitter taste
will let the thoughts evaporate

Doctor, Doctor
I've trouble with my eyes

Then take these blue pills,
That's what I advise

Oh Doctor, Doctor
My bones are all sore

White pills I prescribe
They'll hurt you no more

But Doctor, Doctor
My heartbeat is waning

Take red pills for that
You'll soon be regaining

Please Doctor, please
My mind fades away

For that, I have gray pills
You'll be sharper today

Its quite shocking Doctor,
My ***** is murky

Take these yellow pills
They'll clear it by Thursday

I mope around Doctor,
My mood's really flat

These rose-colored pills
Will take care of that

You must help me, Doctor,
In bed, I'm a flop

Then try these long capsules
They'll liven things up

Tell me please Doctor,
What's inside these pills?

Why medicine, of course,
To cure all your ills

she ran
from non-existent footsteps
paranoia
kicking in
from a lack of meds.

a white
metal
locked
shack.
with the stench
of bodies.

a stuffy nose
at the worst time
promised her demise.

a peek
in the window
peaked
her curiosity.
with only a splash of red.

another window
left open
to air out the stench
led to
no-longer-****** bodies

and she screamed
but not for very long
because the knife
peirced her neck
and the scream
turned into silence.

The evening wears on
And it starts to wear off
Fog lifting lightly
My thoughts wandering
Into somewhere darker
Something deeper
But soon I’ll be in bed
And I’ll take it again
So when I wake
I don’t go mad

forty, for three kinds of pain
swell into sixty, they suggested;
the idea of dependency and
docile, smiley dazes
too much, like a bruised sprain
tiptoeing on the edge
of a complete break

i don’t need to be happy all the time
i just need to be happy more