Take your meds take your meds
You gotta take your meds
Take your meds take your meds
I’m too normal yes I am
But I need to take my meds
I want to get reformed oh yeah
You see I can be cool yes I will
If I take my meds oh yeah
You see I want to be normal
And have no problems
I want my keep in control with my mind
But I can’t, I need to take my meds
I have dreams of being with my old school friends
And I want those dreams being real
At the start I didn’t believe in dillusions
I thought anything that came in my mind was true
I ended up in the psych ward
And placed on an order to take my meds oh yeah
I thought people should give a ****
What I do give a **** what I do
But when I
Take my meds take my meds
I am normal oh yeah
I don’t annoy anyone oh no
Take my meds take my meds
I want to have fun oh yeah
But I gotta take my meds
Take my meds take my meds
Everyone needs to enjoy having me around
And I need to take my meds
I should behave I should be brave
Having fun is great
But it comes at a price
Taking meds is great
You end up nice
Oh yeah bow bow
Having fun is great
Take your meds take your meds
I want to get reformed oh yeah
I really want to be reformed
But I want to feel happy
And I am happy right now
Because
I take my meds take my meds
I am normal yes I am
Because I take my meds
Take your meds take your meds
I am having fun getting rid
Of dillusions oh yeah
And I don’t like people trying to bring my dillusions to life like a trainer I once knew
No name mentioned

Take my meds take my meds
Before I go to bed,yeah
Then go to bed go to bed
And then get up and take it again
You must get better so you take your meds
And then you go to bed
And you watch tv abs have a shower and you put your body cream on
But you take your meds take your meds then you go to bed
And then you get up really really get up and take it again
Watch tv and go to low income work yeah well you can't win them all but as long as you take your meds take your meds
And go to bed
If you can't sleep can't sleep
You get up and watch tv
And when you get tired you go to bed and you have slept long enough you get up again
You watch tv and you eat your meals and you have a few nanna naps then you take your meds Take your meds then you watch tv and occasionally you go out and have a party but if you want to avoid people getting cranky with you, you must take your meds then get dressed and have a can of coke
Go to your party and have some fun and when it is over you take your meds take your meds and watch tv and then go to bed
And wake up and do it all again

I've been in and out of therapy and partial hospitalization programs for about 20 years. you'd think by now I would be better or at least discover a new flavor of ice cream I enjoy but nope, I only like green mint.

there's a lot that's wrong with what I've been dealing with so I'm going to short list it:

start therapy
see new psychiatrist
psychiatrist prescribes me meds before my first therapy session even begins
I hate my psychiatrist
I hate my therapist
therapy does nothing
talking does nothing
I start fantasizing about murdering animals
it scares the ******* **** out of me
I tell my psychiatrist
she said it's the meds
she prescribes me something else
the fantasies stop
my therapist thinks I have daddy issues
my therapist won't stop talking about my father
it's annoying
I hate her
I ask to see a new therapist in the same facility
she asks why
she asks about my fetishes
she takes off her flats and crosses her legs
I'm not sure if she does it intentionally
I feel weird
I see a new therapist
I love my new therapist the first visit
my psychiatrist is replaced
my new therapist only sees me once
I tell her everything she needs to know
I feel amazing
I feel like this is good
she was a temp
I am lost in the system
I have no therapist for 4 months and no one sees to care
my new psychiatrist seems great
she likes plants
she's funny
I feel good about this
she cancels an appointment
I try to make a new one
no one calls me back for a month
I get a new appointment
she cancels
I get a new appointment
she doesn't show up
I'm calling and calling and leaving voicemails
no one calls me back
I still have refills until July 28th
I call everyday the last week of July to make an appointment because I need her authorization for my refills now
I call my pharmacy to ask for help because I'm running out of meds and no one is helping me
every time I go off my meds it's very bad for everyone and I start doing drugs
I don't wanna be off my meds anymore
my pharmacy calls her the day of my refill
she denies the refill
I can't even get a few pills until I get a new appointment because she's denied it and they can't do anything if she denies it
I call my general Doctor
she prescribes me for two weeks
I leave a crazy voicemail on my psych's machine
she never calls me back
I can't get a new appointment
I called all day everywhere
no one is taking new patients
I don't know what to do

did you get all that?

my issue with this situation isn't even really about me directly. it ***** for me but if I end up off my medication I know I can always buy it online illegally or just do dissociatives to keep me from being violent or hurt myself or anything remotely alarming.

my issue with this is I know a woman who sees my ex-psychiatrist. she is not well. she goes into these catatonic episodes and can't do anything. she hides out for months. she's in an abusive relationship. she doesn't eat. she can't talk sometimes. she needs someone to do more for her than just have her show up. she needs people to be actively involving themselves. she needs intense help and I know her appointments were canceled as well.

I can't stand the thought of how many people are in this field who are not doing their job. how unprofessional to literally cancel my refills the day I need a refill because I need to "make an appointment" like ***** I haven't been trying?

what kind of ****** up spiteful **** is that?

that's not right. I don't even know HOW to deal with this. I feel like what she did is illegal or at least negligent. but also that this is something that must happen all the time because these people know they are treating people who are unwell and maybe don't know how to help themselves.

I don't know. I wanted to share this in hopes someone has dealt with something similar and knows the next step or if there's something I can do to have my psychiatrist dealt with. do I call the facility? do I talk to someone about it? who? she knows I don't know the first thing about how to do this and I know I'm not the only one.