My voice breaks
and tears begin to fall
and for your own sake
I will build this wall

And when the night sets in
these walls break down
I can feel it under my skin
when no ones around

I want to be high
so I don't need to think
dissolve into the sky
please hand me the drink

i could tell you what you want to hear
but instead i want to lie
i haven’t had a spine for a very long time
but no nerves have been severed at the base of my skull
i should think just about now
but the creaking of locked doors are all that will sound

i could lie to you now
i could stand up to you now
i could have a will against you
except i am no longer sure of my capabilities
except i am so far away from consistency
except i my life is no longer available to me

I wanted to numb myself.
Read the panic in my eyes
You should be pleased.
"Please speak to me"
The walls tumbling down.
I nodded goodbye.
I didn't matter.
I wasn't going to hang around.
I headed for the door.
"Wait"

Too tired I am to do anything,  
I've lost everyone , I've lost everything,  
Exhausted I am yet playing my role,  
I can stand up but what about my soul ?

I walk everyday smiling wide,  
A smile to fool , a smile to hide,  
For me to hide the joy that died,  
For me to hide the eyes that cried,  

Alone I sit ,  alone all the time,  
The sweet life I had turned as sour as lime,
Coffee in hand thinking of words to rhyme,  
I'm trying to get up, I'm trying to climb,

I can feel my heart's broken pieces,  
I do I wait but my sadness increases,  
It's as if my happiness, the sadness ceases,
Sitting and hoping sorrow releases,  


And I hope and hope and hope,  
And perhaps with hope I'm alive!!!

Some people love the cloudy days
Rain and storms
Rain makes me sad
Storms set me on edge
The gloom outside puts gloom in my mood

Give me the sun
Warmth and comfort are these things
Rain just makes me think
I have such a tendency to over think everything

Rain brings life
Helps things to grow
So please explain
Why it depresses my soul

I never feared the monsters under the bed.

What I really had to fear

Were the monsters in my head.

Every year

They told me to just

“Let them free.”

When the cold hard truth

Was that the monster

Was me.

I never feared the monsters under the bed.

What I really had to fear

Were the monsters in my head.

Slowly killing

Slicing my heart

Breaking my soul

Tearing me apart

And maybe someday

When I go crazy

I’ll slit my throat

You’ll miss me

Maybe.

I never feared the monsters under the bed.

What I really had to fear

Were the monsters in my head.

Everything turned so dark,
So black

I began to turn my wrists red,
To see some color