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maria Mar 2024
Typically greeted with clanking dishes and crumbs on the counter,
this week, I was alone.
Cleared out was my eclectic apartment;
it was just me who I greeted at the end of the day.
I didn't speak out loud as I would,
but my mind had a relentless narrative
of look at this and what about that.

It was natural,
it was lovely,
and it was calm.

Leave me alone for too long
and dim shadows start to look like ghosts.
But make way for me some space,
and I flourish in my own company.
Chelsea Quigley Mar 2024
Sit with me,
Just for a while.
I am no creature,
Nor am I vile.
I ponder and wander,
Sitting alone.
Perhaps your company
Would feel like home?
It is too silent,
But I cannot say.
My body stays quiet,
Through night and day.
As all I crave,
Is a word to share.
To someone who stays,

And someone who cares.
Ander Stone Mar 2024
I want nothing more than to be left alone.

yet there's this child
Clinging to every
Step I take,
Reminding me of
All the spears
Our mother
Chucked at our eyelids.

I want nothing more than to be left alone.

yet there's a little rebel
Churning the bile
Inside my guts,
Screaming at me
About all the sharp edges
Of the road we walk on.

I want nothing more than to be left alone.

yet there's all this responsibility
Weighing me down,
And dragging me
Towards the edges
Of this broken glass path.

I want nothing more than to be left alone.

yet theres an old man
Whispering from the haze.
He tells me to turn back
From this destiny we share.

All that he wants is nothing more than for me to leave him alone.
Zelda Mar 2024
I swear I-I never wanted to trap a butterfly

It's all my fault
shards of ceramic scattered in disarray
It's so surreal
scattered soil, cautious footsteps
an unsettling sight, distorted situation
The roots' exposed

I have no right to cry
After all
I broke your heart
didn't I?

I tried to get past the past, but
all I know is loss
all I do is grieve
All I hear is ambient noise
Ringing through my head
all I know is violence
all I do is parkour

And avoid the feeling

Checked out
found the exit
and chose
To grieve you today
Cause I can't bare the thought of losing you sometime down the road
When you hate me
And regret me
and we'll be screaming about all your wasted time

I can't be what you want me to be
And I know I'm not what you need
I don't know the person in your head
But I know it's a concept I can't complete
And you can't handle the person I am

I swear I never, I never wanted to trap a butterfly

Please, believe me
I swear it wasn't my intention
I didn't mean anything by it
I only wanted to escape
For a moment
See all the colors before I go blind
No worries, no responsibilities
Fill my lungs at the top of the world

Running through
crowded places
And you grab my hand
before
I
get
hit
by
speeding
cars

I don't understand
how did you get me laughing

It must've been the caffeine
For a moment
the geranium almost thrived

Now I'm too old to be
Drinking alone at noon
Pretty pink drinks
As pretty as Dianthus in spring  
Is that what you meant
When you were explaining your feelings?

Well, the bartender is adorable
But I can't bare to look at brown eyes full of pity
Like they can see right through me

I swear I-I never, I never wanted to trap a butterfly

So I leave
And
Speeding
cars
are
honking
loud and angry
almost hit me
Hilarious
If only
then I could
finally escape
and I can
finally feel...
Nevermind
It doesn't matter

Poison slips into the cracks and crevices
Under the skin
Down the throat
Into the lungs
Behind the ribs
Irreversible structural damage
nectar of dissolution
Dissolve the heart

You know who you are

I swear I never wanted to **** a butterfly

Venus flytrap
Àŧùl Mar 2024
I'm again in a transition,
A non-medical scientist by my schooling,
A writer, singer-poet, and author by passion,
These days I'm at Gorakhpur to join a new job,
For another new opportunity that I grabbed,
One of the many exams I cracked,
This job is that of an Assistant Audit Officer.

I marvel at what life has shown me,
Educated at school in non-medical sciences,
Physics, Chemistry, Math, English & Physical Education.

Then I undertook the first paradigm career shift,
Started my Bachelor degree in Biotechnology
Met with the unfortunate cataclysmic road accident,
Survived the 23-day coma against all odds.

Oh the odds, do you remember, oh life?
200+ beats per minute heart rate in the coma,
104°F+ fever accompanied the ****** injuries,
Fractured cheekbone just below the left eye.

Brain stem injuries sent the global doctors in a Tizzy,
Nobody was certain about my survival or the recovery,
But I survived.

The second paradigm shift here was my survival.

They had said at the hospital,
"Only the most serious cases come to ICU #2,
And the lost cases come to HDU #7."

BUT I DIDN'T DIE.

I survived everything that you threw at me,
Everything, even negative people,
Who made weird recommendations.

What did they recommend to my parents after the accident?
— to make me join an easier degree course,
— to make me train for weaving baskets,
— to set up a toffee shop for me to earn bread,
— and what not to discourage my family,
— my parents had dreams for their only child,
— all the whilst I was in the uncertain coma,
— and the pitiable vegetative state for 30 more weeks,
— where I endured immense pains.

Oh life, you've been so hard!
You gave me COVID-SARS in 2012,
I didn't die,
I completed my B.Tech in Biotechnology.

More loneliness followed,
I still didn't give up on life,
Completed my M.Tech in Animal Biotechnology.

The third paradigm shift was next,
When I cleared 4 recruitment exams,
And joined as a Probationary Officer
With the State Bank of India.

The fourth paradigm shift now comes,
I have shifted to the job of an Assistant Audit Officer,
With the Comptroller & Auditor General of India.

I defeated death,
But I seem to be fighting a lost battle
Against loneliness in my life.
My HP Poem #1960
©Atul Kaushal
Jason Adriel Mar 2024
Nobody told me how much life would change once I graduated. The immense feelings of nostalgia, I barely managed to dissuade it. My heart, in all its complexities and difficulties, yearns for all kinds of things, scenarios, people - feelings. my heart yearns to feel. love keeps me warm, but lately, I've been awake with alarms, ringing like a maddened storm.

I think of the people I no longer talk to, my mind can come up with a few. Do people get over this? or is this a mist you cannot miss, haunting like a broken wrist, a cruel fate twist, that drives you searching for some kind of bliss?

I am undone. There used to be so much sun, but now it's hard even just to have fun. Is it cowardice to want to run? I imagine buying a gun and aiming it at my head, a joke so blunt.

I lay awake yet again. Dreams used to be so grand. But now it's all so bland.

I don't want to be bland...
life after college is so terrifying.
B Mar 2024
Texas is as hot as hell
and looks like it sometimes too
but I can't leave, it's paralyzing,
I love it like I'm dazed and confused.
Know I'd miss the flat green land
and always knowing what comes next
yearning for the shade of the soft, dark pine
crackled leather growing on my neck.
Here, you cannot hide from the sun
it chases you like a bird of prey
yet I have learned to live with it
I rise and I kiss it, never stray.
And I can sit and drink
like I am baptized from the inside out
this is the easy way
to taste freedom in the South.

It takes forever just to get out of this state
stretched as wide as the chasm of my mind
so long a journey from ear to ear
what am I supposed to find?
Left alone with no friend but my thoughts
what terrible company they are.
At least the skies are open here
I can find familiarity with my lone star.

Sometimes people leave,
in a chase of meaning, and perhaps some hope
but they will always come back
unforgivingly pulled by the invisible rope.
I'll let my curiosity wander
but not for too long
Rough cowboy reminds me
where I belong.
the brevity of a singular breath,
one that is full of peace,
such a rare glimpse but
if you look at his face, at the right time,
you might just see him smile.

then, much like an old spruce cello,
descending in suspense,
that smile  -evaporates-, and the
quick "bliss" is no more.

oh how old and wise is this cello i play,
if only it was genuinely surprised by the
intensity of such
-hair raising horror-
it faces in its composure, daily.

"but it simply ain't",
as Bukowski would drunkenly say,
and his quivering cigarette would rightfully echo
through the halls of this unholy Cathedral.  

"put me the **** down already, Charles", it echoes.

"no,
i refuse
to let go of my
identity...

...why would i let go of all

-i feel-

is left?"

he (i) is either a man,
or on the road to understanding
what this even means really...

...maybe he's halfway there...

regardless, he now understands,
he must accept
"reasons" to smile won't come often,
and one is subject to the tug of war of life,
of society,
of women,
of his children,
of his forgetful mother,
of his vices,
his hair raising horrors,
the torment,
of his absent father.

to continue is to face those suspenseful

-crescendos-

of life, with
"a ******* smile on your face",
as Bukowski would say,

no matter
-what-
he's been through, or
-how-
-deeply-
he
-feels-

...

-melancholicreator
transferred and added on from paper on a very tough night that required lots of crying to get anywhere creatively, reflects my current struggles/state of mind.

enjoy.
Julian Feb 2024
And oh,
the season of oblivion
ascends like a thief,
swift, silent,
deadly.

a breath in the vast emptiness,
a universe yawning wide
to devour every decibel
a void wide open
engulfing every sound.

And in my dreams, I swear,
your laughter was a revolution,
the earth halted its hustle,
and in that fleeting heartbeat,
there was laughter,
there was a ceasefire,
and we were its sanctuary.

And when I woke,
your absence was a canyon,
a shadow once more,
I fought for air,
fingers trembling for solidity.

I faced my shadows,
whispered, "Not now, not now,"
and cast them further into the abyss.

I anchored myself to this planet,
stood, knees quaking like fault lines.
I moved,
with a heart dense as a dying star,
and I stumbled into oblivion,
oblivion,
oblivion,

conceding that all we've amassed in the end,
signified
nothing after all.
Chelsea Quigley Feb 2024
What a melancholy night.
Thoughts so loud
They shock me with fright.
Whispers of aid,
Created by me.
Comfort alone,
By naked trees.
More touch I receive
From fields of green.
Wiping tears gently onto my sleeve.

For all I desire,
Is true company.
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