Austerity is my abode
Benevolence is my sigil
Amour-propre is my ethos!!
©shadeofalonelygirl

I grew out my beard.
I grew out my stomach.
My ears ring randomly.  
My eyes see things differently.
I speak or say less.  I move in silence.
I sleep in when I want.
I haven't touched razors since my return
nor rifles since the field ops.
I've grown in maturity mentally.
I've grown insensitive verbally.
I've grown to miss the uniform
and pride of belonging in a brotherhood;
I miss my extended family.
I miss the people, not the troubles.
I miss the gym, where others alike
flexed invisible muscles.
My days once had routine,
pattern, structure and rhythm.
Weekends full of workouts, worship, and beer.
Weeks full of work, blood, sweat, and tears.
I've grown in experience.
I've regained freedom as a civilian.
But the transition has been a grueling process.
Yet, I've grown to be grateful nonetheless,
as not everyone gets to go back "home" ...
(remember the fallen) ...
However, if I'm honest, I don't think there's ever
an actual adjustment...
[I'm growing]

He carefully watches what food he's chosen to eat
avoiding those things his standards don't really meet;
he doesn't eat any meat, fish, eggs or other seafood
as they represent nourishment from a killing mood.
Yes, he's a strict vegetarian and a borderline vegan
with convictions that seem to go beyond all reason.
He also doesn't drink any type of animal derived milk;
as it isn't considered fit for consumption by human ilk.
He usually only has at the most just two meals a day
often getting by with only one for both work and play.
He conserves energy by the discipline of body and mind
and is a lot better off for it than all of those ordinary kind.

The ideals that he lives by are above the mundane breed
unwilling to compromise them with those below his creed.
Knowing from past experience the vagaries of the mind and heart
being confirmed on a daily basis by all the reported news in part.
Too much casual association with ordinary people he tries to avoid
and would rather go seek those whom he has previously enjoyed.
He also doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or indulge in sensual pleasures
as those activities aren't conducive to sustaining heavenly treasures.
Maintaining thereby a clean heart, mind and body living in the world
because they're the main objectives by which human life has unfurled.

He tries not to hurt any fellow creature by either thought, speech or action
and extends a good will to all with or without their returning satisfaction.
With silence, solitude, study and meditation he practices a daily routine;
seeing into the darkness of closed eyes what few others have ever seen.
All the mainstream religions he acknowledges and respects but doesn't really follow
regarding them as stepping stones by which a better life is had if one's own is hollow.
What he does believe in is in fact the One Eternal Truth which is common to all
of an Infinite Supreme Being and Existence that underlies and supports them all.
The very nature of life he comprehends and perceives as a long or short journey
all creatures have to make with their own vehicle of a body that is evolutionary
while they find their way back home to that source of all being and existence
within the creation of this world in which they all do struggle for subsistence.

He considers that there are five main stages of life in all the universe and creation
regarding them to be formation, evolution, reincarnation, involution and realisation
that every soul creature has to go through as it becomes more evolved and aware
of the purpose and goal of existence in which it finds itself travelling somewhere.
Though only as a human being this soul creature can complete and realise the goal
having to undergo many tribulations nevertheless on the way in its existential role.
The soul of course is the creature which evolves through an infinity of forms
and is a unit of eternal existence that so underlies and supports all the norms;
starting from the very basic level of life at the primordial stage which is seen
then evolves and develops into a higher form until it becomes a human being.
This unit of eternal existence is the divine spirit or essence of every soul made
and carries with it a true image or status of its own immaculate original grade;
which is why every creature has to sleep and return to some unconscious state
being the very source or image of its original divine nature to there recuperate.

In that state of unconsciousness which is experienced as nothing in sleep
is the place where originally everything has come from and is very deep.
So deep in fact that it's really unfathomable and impossible to comprehend
unless one gains that inner Light of knowledge and love of the Enlightened.
That Light then serves as a supernatural body or beacon to plumb the depth
of one's spirit which is non other than the image of God within the dark kept.
This Light which is also known as “the Blue Pearl” is indeed a blessed sight
and if one can keep on seeing it then there's no more blind darkness of night.
____________

I exist to enjoy life
Whether good or bad
My days are numbered
So ill go ahead and make the best
Of the time I've been given
Take control
You’re the only one
That can make you whole