I am putting my life on hold.

Not to waste it away

Not to
get lost

Not
to disappear

But to become better

To become the best version of me
so I would finally feel like I deserve everyone who loves me

I am not pausing my life
I am pushing the restart button
I am making changes
I am taking out the virus and filling it with self-love
I am learning to love

Lovers learn to love each other after the sun rises
True love can learn to love again after something traumatic

Don't ever let my calm demeanor fool you,
you opened your mouth now its time to School you,
in the deadliest art, I tear you apart,
you're done from the start-get back in your Kart
and go blow your Horn,

while my Sonic Boom engraves my Chi into the Matterhorn
If I let rip they're zippin' up your rap crimes as evidence,
cause many moons ago I first set the Precedent-
Presidential rhymer but I'm no Twitter Twit,

When I bring the pain I like it to be intimate,
I'm Sado your Maso can't admit you're into it,
try to stop your toe tapping no control of it,
first strike Staccato, then smoooth like a Stiletto,
sliding into Silk Skin you let go ...

Chorus

Cause I'm your Sensei, show respect to your Teacher,
Bow Loooow cause I've a long way to reach ya,
won't breach your Confidence-just your Defense,
batter clatter shattered Armour-Helm full of dents

As I let go, ooh kid look what you done did,
Saw a Tigers tail twitchin' and then ya pulled it!,
shoulda mulled it over, now I pulled ya over,
now you're clickin your heels squeakin' no place like home huh?
      
                                *****
Your weak wordplay VS my Lyrical Swordplay
could put you down like child's play - *Behold your Sensei
Join the ranks? - no easy way, just the EC way...
don't like it? there's the door for the greasy strays...
      
                           ++++++++++++++++++  

but if you stay?--- you'll learn from the best,
lyrical onslaughts Dim Mak sounds stop hearts in chests,
or open  minds to other possibilities...
Stick with us kid, find the Sea of tranquility-
become a Warrior Poet heart full of Nobility,
use words as weapons to expose Fragility,
then some day you too can be a Sensei...

When you're a Sensei you discover lifes the Teacher,
Open up your Third eye, let the whole world reach ya,
I greet you - as a worthy Proponent,
always ready for the next opponent...

Some just can't and won't learn the lesson,
even when I break it down to the essence,
essentially your Sensei sees...
at least four **** moves ahead o' ye,

That's why i'm so relaxed while I'm battlin'
your nerves are fraught your nails bit-teeth chatterin',
face scrunched up in fear of the batterin'
you go from Rambo to Lamb as I unleash a Cataclysm

                         ******

A Thesaurus Tesseract powerin' a Juggernaut,
Bipolar Jaeger Driver Plasma weapon o' thought,
my life is a War zone my weapons are words,
Paleface Shamefaced attacker reveals a hidden sword

but I've met ya before defeated with metaphor,
Meta-Physical giant like fallin' through Smithsonian floor,
Deception meets Conception like Inception,
then my Dai Katana rips through your mid section...cause

I'm a Sensei-world class instructor rhymin',
you lost the beat and now you're off timin',
a wounded Gazelle limpin' cross the plains,
I take aim - release you from your Pain*

Cause I'm a Sensei use my art for my Zanshin,
reflexively inflexively effortlessly Dancin'
across the page across the stage across your lives...
Cause a true Sensei knows the real teacher...is LIFE

Love you all, stay strong, stay positive Act- don't React
Mr Sandman 11/07/17 (4:47!)

The heart doesn't need to learn what it wants...
The heart always knows what it wants...
We are the ones who need to learn what our heart wants...

Broken window
I’m the stone she put through the glass
Of her own room
I will not default on my blame
But what of the hand I was rested in
Ever so innocent
Weighing on broken shoulders of guilt
Fractured to shards
And the stone prays for miracles
May she learn, unharmed

Remember when your father left you?
Well, I sure do
Because it follows me around every day,
Especially times like these.
And no one understands how that can make you feel
When someone else leaves too.

You think to yourself,
“This is the person, this is who will stay,”
And even when things are going wrong,
Affecting you,
You still say,
“But this is a constant, and it is safe,
I want to stay.”

But some people aren’t ready,
And maybe some people don’t care.
Either way, they can go easily,
And eventually find some new pair.
But that desperation stays with you,
To feel safe and in a constant,
And so you go through a panic,
A frenzy,
That no one understands.

People will judge,
And say what they think,
But they will never understand,
The true feeling of being the daughter of an alcoholic.

Because if they did,
They would not pass judgment,
And, perhaps, would not even be pompous,
About how people “should” act,
Because there is no true way,
To get over being left.

And so today on this Father’s Day,
And week where many things have come to end,
Just remember to
Live and let live,
Listen and learn,
Let go and let God,
And most importantly,
Take things one day at a time.