The last drop of hope
is the strongest.
That's why it's last
why it hangs on
why it holds out
why it pushes back
why it refuses to fall
and instead in defiance it stays,
waiting for your last word
in hope.

A day is coming
when you will be
on your last day
no time to flee
your entire life
ready to be sealed
packaged for the day
it will be revealed
to the whole world
each choice shown
you will reap whatever
seeds you have sown.

...I couldn't help but to stare blankly at your white, emotionless face...

The last time I saw you... You had a light full of joy and grace...

But to see that light now gone from you body left a taste of melancholy

A hood of sorrows is what hid my bitter sweet tears from them and you, what folly...

Before my aching heart could leave your presence, your eyes opened...

Your heart startled by a hug, your eyes gazed around at all of us, an opportunity, I was hope'n

You stared straight into my black stained waterfall and spooked me

When your pale, cold hand, with quickness, grabbed my hand.. and begged me not to leave..

It shook... I could feel and count every bone you used... with the little muscle strength you had...

My body trembled at your white, thin, Skeleton hand... Stabbed by the reality of loss...the insecurity was bad..

I felt so troubled and helpless... Since there was nothing from me you could gain...

"Alan...Linard...." was the last thing I heard, the last thing she said... it was her husband's name...

6 days later... 9:15pm, July 2nd, 2018...for the first time... I watched Some breath their last... and finally die...

Puzzled by how quick and peaceful a painful image thing can be.... It felt so deceitfully wrong... but I knew it was..right..

Donna... You wouldn't come back... even if you could.. you wouldn't

You in a place of paradise... pure perfection... I wont lie... I miss you.. but I know you could never return... you couldn't..

I wonder what we would all do differently if today was our last day
or if this was our last week
our last year
what would we do to make the time worth while?
would I quit my job and see the places I've always dreamed of going to?
or spontaneously marry the man I love?
would I spend every waking second with my son and hold him a little tighter?
tell the people I love just how much they mean to me and tell old friends what a loss they were to my life?
its so easy to think of all the things you would do if you knew your time was up
so why don't we live that way everyday?
as if waking up isn't a gift and life is short and ever changing
we should do all the things that matter and be with the people we cherish and change the things we hate about life and start doing all those things we wish to go do
I'd like to think I'm going to try harder to live like I have no time left

Hold me,
The way you did that night
That we kissed, underneath
The stars, sitting in our car
Love that would never end,
Love that wouldn’t dent,

At least that’s what we thought,
But I guess that was just a lie,
One of many that were told,
By you and I.

Hold me like you did, once more
And don’t let go,

Summon your demons
Unfold your worries and pain
Initiate the process
Consult your past
Imortalize your last moments
Decide for the last time
End it all.

This wasn't the first time
But it will be the last time
I create an identifiable pain
To numb the persisting wounds,
That I let my hollow stomach
Swallow all of my sorrows,
That I go to bed hungry
Struggle to wake up again,
Just to Pace around my kitchen
Afraid to open the refrigerator,
I promise this is the last time,
It's always the last time,
Please let this be the last time..

Somebody, please take me home
Get out of here fast
Somebody, please make me whole
Make me want to last
It’s like living under a street light
At late nights
Too scared to survive
Someone, get me some healing
Get out of here fast

Somebody’s gonna have to love
Get out of here fast
Somebody, please gain my trust
Make me want to last
Somebody’s gonna have to love
Get out of here fast
Whoever did this to me
Pray for forgiveness
I’m not going to last