I am a Jellyfish
colorful yet pain-inflicitng
I remind myself to forget the bad things.
**I keep on floating.

Lost in the crowd as i wander
What is it that I am forced to surrender
Its not that I did not fight
I even saw the sun so bright
But now again the clouds are dark
All through my way its raining hard
My umbrella blown by winds so strong
In search of shelter, I think what I did wrong
Today I feel devoid of strength
On my optimistic nature it has put a dent
Though all my attempts went in vain
But I promise to stand up on my feet again.

I'll keep the lights on in this place,
I'll sit here in the dark forever if its the case,
but I know you'll be back soon,
When I call we both know its a harpoon,

The walls will dry and crack,
this is where you bring me for a panic attack,
I have felt worthless for so long,
I have lost interest in any game or song,

No I think I'll retreat back to that room to be alone,
In there my voice is nothing but calm in its tone,
I know its not the place that I wish to stay,
but time and time again the world is too **** gray,

I watch it all move and twist about,
my insides screaming, my skin crawls and I want to shout,
But the camera's shutter moves to slow,
and the world slows down to a snail's flow,

I never talked about the way I felt
except in that room, where my heart could melt,
and words can flow there like a summer's breeze,
so I regress back to that room with ease,

I'm sorry to make you read anymore,
If the windows crack I need you to shut the door,
I don't bring anyone else here,
I've lived my whole life in fear,

I need to break out and make anew,
before my youth slows to a crawl, and then it's through
If I think anymore, my brain will implode,
like a black hole, it's another episode

Inside I scream, my skin crawls, I want to shout
**Please depression, just let me out

if life is made up of tiny little moments
I wanna be a master of small tricks
A jack of all trades in the smallest exchanges
As an organism, micro to stars and macro to ants
I want to take up just enough space that breath allows
And moments can grasp
I want to live a life on the edge of sanity on the edge of limitations
Crossing boundaries and blocked bridges
We should always remember though that our fingerprints are small, yet heavy
With responsibility we should be careful not to press too ******* the world
But to leave a fingerprint of peace, love, and kindness
Not even for me, not for you, but for us- for the world we share together
So let’s share in the tiny moments
In the you and me laughing over a cup of tea
In the little pockets of sunshine
I want to find happiness
And goodness in that

I want to know that there is depth to even the smallest flower
And like Horton hears a who, a person is a person no matter how small
So much time I spent trying to be visible
That when my heart broke into shattered pieces
I was scattered across the universe
Lost between bits of myself like a dusty tornado whirling around in my mind
Constantly plaguing me to negative thoughts
Succeptable to anger
And quick to see the pain of the world
And instead of being Neosporin
Or trying to be peroxide
I was prepared to let that good die inside


the present is a mary poppins pocket
filled to the brim with possibilities of infinite nature
possibilities reaching towards both the east end of the world and the west
from the most northern point
and the most southern
which is constantly changing
there is a circling orb
that floats around planet earth
catching all hopes and dreams and wishes
and then sprinkling them like fairy dust throughout the entire universe
for the realm of possibilities is not limited by the sky
although some of us prefer the feel of the ground
the sky extends out farther than all human life
to a universe of quiet space and darkness
planets and black holes and infinite mystery
and we try to make sense of, try to understand
and we love
this planet and this universe
this is our power
our curse
our beauty
and our obstacle

for emotions are a beautiful thing
and we wish to live beautiful lives
life itself is beautiful to all who can see it
all who have been given trust and love
and took it  
kept it

I'd rather keep running this imaginary marathon going
Because the pulse just keeps getting stronger
And i don't get this feeling often
So i'd rather keep up with you until the moments notice
Forget about the tropes that keep us on the rope
I gave the Television all the soap it wanted
Now it's running it's operas
And i'm running the marathon
For something
For something i'm unsure of
For someone?
Whatever it is, it's better than Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
TV rots your brain
I favor going against the grain
No offense guys
But keeping up in Marathons is much healthier
The water companies will thank you
Why should they not?
Thanks for not letting me rot
Whatever it is
Whoever you are
I'd keep up with you.

I promised to never leave yet I left
A promise I meant to keep but haven't kept.
So I sit here so many tears having wept.
For all my promises not kept.

I can no longer hold you, 
I was not there forever.
Unlike I had once told you, 
I doubt we'll be together.

I promised to make you my wife
To be there for you for all your life
Now I sit here and I weep
Over the promises I cannot keep.

1:45 a.m. 12/11/13