And when you reach a crossroad
Dont look back.

You looked at me, absent-minded. Comparing with eyes made for judgment. It's your right.

It's too bad you don't see the hurt, the words carved into me. The ones that go "she's skinnier" or "she's prettier, you know". I try and consult, whispering "mirror mirror on the wall" but it just won't look at me.

You did it without thinking. Took the liberty to stare me up and down, and when I asked you why you were surprised. You weren't doing it on purpose. I was just a visual obstacle you could look over and judge.

Maybe you lacked malice, but I still saw the wish for better in your eyes. You didn't need to put it into words. I heard it all. Felt the need for better, as I covered up, so you no longer had to be disappointed.

You checked them out and looked at me after as if surprised you'd accepted this version of a body for so long.

as I'm living in my peaceful world,
an unfamiliar person enters.
he looks small from where I am.
"it looks like he's glaring at me."
"he seems like a bad person."
"I'm way better than him."
the thoughts hit the ground
as solid, heavy bricks,
and my heart pounds in response.
more bricks form a disjointed wall.
I step on the bricks as I climb.
I peek at him over the top
as he approaches the wall.
I notice his soft, kind eyes,
and his soul warms me up.
I slowly descend the wall. 
the bricks start to fall,
landing right behind us.
my heart stops pounding,
and it gently whispers,
"those bricks never fit together."
I give him a tender hug,
and I let him into my heart.

I am just one of millions,
Seemingly identical from afar,
Crisp and uniform, like a freshly pressed shirt,
Up close I am different,
One petal less, one petal more, perhaps a different shade of white.
We blanket the earth, swaying together in the breeze. An ocean of white ripples,
Individually we crash against one another, just as waves do against a jagged cliff,
Pushed! Shoved, in the same direction by the unforgiving and relentless wind.

You gaze upon us, browsing like a happy shopper,
Your shadow blocks the light; engulfing me like a hungry toddler,
Aware of the inevitable I brace myself, praying that I am not next
Preying that in your eyes I am unworthy of your attention,
But then you do it, you swoop down,
Plucking me from my roots. Cutting my ties to this earth.
Slowly I am examined,
He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not,
This tortuous game of chance induced by boredom strips me of myself!
Then its over, you have been amused and now I am left bare,
Laying on the dirt; left to slowly decay while you run off,
Looking for your next victim.

Sometimes,
No matter how satisfactory
Your explanation is
It wouldn't matter
because
You have already been judged

Harsh geographical tongues,
Set up against the asphalt gleaming in the bright light,
The A Crowd betwixt and between- efforting that cool knowing stance to cover the fear reeked knee **** bloodthirst their inadequacy always spawned.
The B Crowd simpers aghast at what unconscious desires to adopt the life husk of burned out hucksters has wrought.
The sentimental inspector dutifully tweaks the scales so we all have a tighter grasp on true value.
Postscript: Lord grant me the grace to disguise the portentous notions that I am anything other than what I pretend to be...


[Rolloroberson copyright 2020]