Distract the heart with other emotions than that of Love. Distract the heart with excitement, with laughter, with joy. Distract it with memories of being a little girl and boy. Distract it with conversations of intellectual thought, Though sometimes distract it with those that are not. Keep it enthralled with the day's many moments. Enthrall it with what options that day were not chosen. If sadness does come, welcome it to see How deeply I do care for thee. My dearest friend, the only Whom I write of, My heart is now Distracted Completely With Love
The mirror is shattered. So without any reflection on the misuse of this image, The shards will be incarnadine.
The bleeding will ne'er end. It drips drops of thick sick thoughts, Smothering the scattered shards.
A sight bred for horror. Speckled endlessly, sorting sorrows Into uniquely spattered shards.
The fulmination of self-imitation. No longer are little words taken lightly. You are now obscure shards.
I, too, once saw clearly.
Mirrors are often (overly) used as metaphors, similes, and symbols- what was set out to satirize and comment on the over use of the mirror imagery became one of my most cherished poems. Even though this was written awhile ago, I haven't published it until now and can only hope that the meaning comes across. But for you - poets of the mirror image - enjoy.
I've been there ~ She listens with ears that only hear the pain of lovers past ~ He sees with eyes that are blurred with visions of everyone who went away ~ Love spears your insides ~ It disrupts old memories ~ It stirs them up into toxic mush ~ Until all you see is ALL the people that used to be ~ Not each other ~ The glass is stained with the past ~ Clean it off ~ Clear the smudge ~ Look at the water with clearer eyes ~ Listen to the night with ears that have long since shed an old lovers sin ~ You still can't look at each other ~ But don't let go ~ No one will hold you like she does ~ No one will protect you like his jealous arms ~
You are hers and she is yours ~ And that's all you both should see ~ Listen not to whispers of people who can never be ~
Push aside ~ The pain and pride ~
Listen to each others hearts again ~ Because the beat didn't skip ~ And when you hold his hand ~ And touch her skin ~
You'll realize that a love like yours ~ Can never be apart again ~
For Raine and Jacob I've been there and lost. And everyday regret whispers in my ear and pulls away my sanity.
Needless to say I'm a disaster. Peaceful breathing Next to my Endless seething About the constant feelings That confuse me And enslave me And ravage me And leave me craving an escape. Your peaceful breathing How it ever so slowly calms my raving mind. I can't sleep. You're lying next to me and I am Helpless, needy, and hurt. Helpless - though your attempts to calm me are caring and sweet, I can't help you sleep by staying awake. Needy - I desire your company at 3AM when the world should be silent and yet here I sit wanting your attention. Hurt - I can't hurt myself anymore than to know I am hurting you. I love you. I lie here and weep. I need what you have, Your peaceful sleep.
Sometimes I just want to see another way of being me Another way of being free of all insecurity But there are times when that is hard And there are wounds that have been scarred And now I'm trying to get by with what in my life has been marred.
I keep trying to escape all of the lies that cover my eyes like tape; such a disguise, I can let out only sighs. It's hiding all of my fears deep inside all of my tears that never flow, I don't let them go, so I keep moving, I reap what I sow. So no, I'm not fine, I walk a fine line between peace and what is at least my foreseeable destruction. And I know I'm laughing and requesting you leave it alone but what is worse is the curse of knowing I am and will always be unknown.
All weight will drop off my shoulders, but before, it gets much colder, So cover me in this vacancy of emotion and make me bolder. Make me able to stand under the pressure of the hand that smacks my hand and tells me "Man, it's just a phase." which does the opposite of Raising me up and making me new, so if you only knew that what you do makes me rue the so-called man that I've become and now The future man that I will be will never rise up from his knee So I'm left stirring in this mind of never-ending insecurity.
I walk Nightly To the place where I find Silence. Silencing the world Silencing the mind Silencing all that creates Havoc. I create havoc. Day after day I walk Wondering when I will Finally Be able to find that Silence. But day after day I am Silenced. That is why Nightly I walk To the place where I find Silence. To the River Where drowns the havoc Around me. Where flow the souls of the silent. To the River Where I find Silence.
The longest drive of my life was only four and a half dragging minutes around two street corners Followed by the loudest sound of an unlocking door my oozing ears have ever witnessed And the guiltiest hug my arms will ever bear. His scent still lingering on my clothes and face and those same arms, I proceed to tell you my secrets (not the fun kind you whisper to your friends) the ones I could only stand to hide under my tongue for one whole day, and purely for the sake of your innocence. I reach into your chest and rip out what's rightfully mine and I can't apologize enough as I ring out every good memory I have ever given you and replace it with a night I can't even fully remember. Naturally, you curse and leave me alone in your room as if I've kicked you out of your own home, as if you never want to see my face again unless it is twisted and bruised, as if the only thing I have ever given you was a chip in your paper-thin skull. After draining my lips of "I'm sorry"s and "I love you"s you find the decency in your heart to take hold of my hand, walk me silently to the bathroom, and politely ask me to join you for a bubble bath.