Why is it that every word you speak
I expect insults instead of compliments.
Why do you show your love for me through angry hands,
why can't you show me you love me by loving me
rather than destroying me.
I am scared of what is next.
I am scared of how many more times your hands will be covering my mouth.
I know you love me.
But I also know you hate who I am.
I love him but we are both victims.
We cannot seem to control ourselves any longer.
There is more hate filled touching than love filled.
I have become your biggest pet peeve.
I am the nagging in your ear.
You will never admit this to me,
but I am clever enough to see the hate you have for me by the lack of touch,
the way your eyes don't glaze over when you look at me anymore.
I keep trying to put you out of your misery of the burden that I have become.
You won't let me.
I am sorry I have become a chore.
I never wanted to be the person you wanted the least.

I don't know what I've been thinking.

Not sure why I've been acting
Like I don't exist.
I have missed
Every bit
Of my waking soul.
And yet,
I've put myself to bed
For too many nights too long.

When did I stop loving myself?
I can't remember how or when or why
Or if i tried
not to let this part of me die.
It could be all the times
I couldn't get the tears to dry.

All I know,
is I apologize.

Because it used to be real.
I want to get back to how I used to feel.

And honestly I have known all along.

People like me
We don't want pretty pictures
We crave the darkest parts of you
The lies you tell
The secrets you keep
All of the sinister thoughts in your head
Your personal form of self destruction is captivating to us
The way the light fades from your eyes
It's enticing

People like me
We won't hesitate to find your flaws
We'll point them out to you
And tell you that they don't matter
The thing you hate the most about yourself
It fascinate us
We'll seek it out and make it a part of us
Rejoice in it
Then make your hatred for it dissipate

People like me
We see beauty in everything
We'll find a rose in a field of ashes
Then pick it just to steal its essence from the world
We'll search for the most sacred elements  of who you are
Then we'll keep them for ourselves
Because deep down we are selfish
We don't want to share you
We want everyone to know that you are ours

People like me
We'll love you
So much so that it surrounds you
Encases you like a prison
But you won't want to escape
We'll love you in a way that feels like a gift
Something to cherish and show to the world
You'll be caught up in it
And you won't notice when it begins to fade

People like me
We're the reason for songs about lost love
Many a night has been spent
Drinking away our memory - or trying to
We are the one who got away
The best thing that ever happened you
The person you can't live without
Our memory will taste sweet
But eventually you'll reject the flavor

People like me
We'll leave you behind a veil of promises-
Promises that we just can't keep
We say that we will love you forever
Then we do it - from a place miles away in the middle of the night
We say that we will never leave you
Then we don't- for the feeling of us never fades
We say that we'll give you our hearts
Then we hand them to you- but they'll crumble to dust in your grasp

People like me
We are lonely
Every second of our lives is spent searching
Or waiting for the right time to leave
When that time has come
We smile and swear that it is for the best
Then cry tears that are dry before we walk away
We sweep up the pieces of ourselves that we gave to you
Then try to put them back together without the ones we missed

People like me
We will ruin you
Everything we do is so fresh- so innocent
We find joy in places where there is only sorrow
Worse yet we bring order to all of your chaos
We make the stars shine brighter for you
Then we steal ourselves back
Hide ourselves away in someone else and all of their messes
Till you can't love again because we were the first and no one compares

People like me
We destroy people like you
And we're so, so sorry

city of love painted crimson but not
for the passion and hope but
for the blood staining the streets
in unworthy unbelonging abode.
and i'm sorry. there is a place inside
me that aches and screams and yearns
and apologises.
those who committed these acts of
****** are not muslims as they so
proudly call themselves, there is only
one word for this type of man and it is
murderer.

I didn't mean to lose you. But the only thing I'm good at is pushing people who love me away.

bad influence, yes, I know
in a dark, eerie, isolated parking lot is not where I am supposed to be at
staring at a cars ceiling, hallucinating is not how I imagined spending my night
bad influence, yes, I know
but my adrenaline is pumping and I can't help but yearn for one last taste
the heat is rising and I can't help but at your body in awe, stare
bad influence, yes, I ******* know
but I can't hold back this desire for more
because for once in this redundant & bland lifetime I feel like I'm living and not *just breathing

i'm so sorry i'm so sorry, dear flower in my garden
you were the blooming life in this

jungle of growing souls
but i picked you up, disconnecting you

from your lovely source
you started to rot and slowly crippled


it was all my fault it was all my fault
when i picked up my beloved flower.