How can the absolute fact that
"I'd do anything to see my son"
And the sinking reality
I've not made enough effort to see him
Exist in the same plane of existence?
A fuucking paradox
An impossible duality
But here I am
Standing in that exact reality
And the answer is me
There's no possibility,
Not even probably,
That he hasn't noticed the same
And that truth haunts me
Daily and nightly
Destroys absolutely
And completely
Why doesn't that push me?

©2024

Feeling forced to
Live through
An impossible scenario
I'm someone who
Finds it hard to
Find anything but static on the radio
All this blue
Is nothing new
42 seasons of the same show
A tandem dive done solo
The sign says shallow
Margin for error narrow
But ***** it, here I go
'Look out below'

©2024

I've heard people are strange
When you're a stranger
A lesson learned
Only as you grow older

Faces look ugly
When you're alone
My past proves
No one pays no mind to what's shown

They say women seem wicked
When you're unwanted
My truth is I've wasted
All the time allotted

Streets are uneven
When you are down
Seemingly impossible
To find solid ground

The strange
Have faces they hide in the rain
It's strange
Couldn't be bothered to remember my name

Are you strange?
Am I strange?
What is straaaaaange?

©2024

My relationship with life is nonconsensual
Now-a-days, a cancelable scandal
The back and forth we share is not equal
My portion is shameful
Should have never taken it past casual
That's when it took control
Thoughts creep in of the unforgivable
Turning out the lights on this carnival
The last note I jot on my last thought pressed to vinal
Drop the needle at the funeral

©2024

I cry
Recently quite a lot
Some tears fall with no why
Most are no longer fought
Like rain from the sky
Weather wanted or not
Emotions flood the eye
The mind an impossible knot
Man card revoked, no reapply
I push through all for naught
Every try
A long shot...
But it's all I got

©2024

Have you ever had one of those moments?
You know, like;
when before you can begin to get a sentence in, you see the other person's eyes roll.
when words of wisdom sound arrogant and cynical.
when you know you're being far too critical.
when your obnoxiously focused on the most simple wrinkle.
when your little issues seem to flip to psychosis and drive you mental.
when your own thoughts threaten to send you to a hospital.
when tomorrow feels like just another obstacle.
Those moments when breathing feels impossible
When contemplating turns suicidal
And dreaming becomes unbearable
That special moment when it sets in that this doesn't feel like living,
This feels more like survival
No?
You've never had that feeling of being out of control,
Lost in a downward spiral?
Where you swear,
This mountain used to be a molehill...

®2024

Trust might be the hardest thing ever to recover
Whether mother, father, sister, brother
Grandfather, grandmother or casual lover
The lies and deception can take a lifetime to uncover
Other times it can be right there, in your face, front and center
Something you'll regret to ignore
And these actions hardly ever, mostly never, affect the perpetrator
But they literally **** off an innocence and should be charged with ******
Instead they get to go live a good life type of forever
While I get blamed for trust issues that I have no control over

©2024

Know that I know
Failure is unstoppable
The situation is never unlosable
Trust me,
I'm already the biggest loser you know
How did I get over here?
Where do I go from there?
I don't know
How deep can shallow go?
That's probably something you should know
Terminal velocity, terminal illness, hospitality's critical
There's only so fast ****'ll flow
Don't you worry though
I'll find the lowest low
Thee frequency is what's incredible
Watch me make the possible impossible
The predictable shockingly unpredictable
Knowing is half the battle
A cartoon told me so
Still waiting for it to help slow the fall though

©2024

I can't do what you need me to do
Not naturally capable
Unable to be who you want me to be
Impossibly impossible
I might fight the fight you wish me to fight
Adrenaline is incredible
Shouldn't have to bow or bend to your will
Especially if we're equal
I refuse to kiss the ring like you're expecting
Laughably satirical
This polished **** won't gleem like you'd like it too
Completely unreasonable

©2024