I was nine years old
I looked at my body
In the bathroom mirror
And crumbled to the floor
And cried
And thought
(Seriously this is what I literally told myself)
I’m falling apart
Preteen drama queen

One day I’ll peel myself off
Of that floor
I hope

of a repeat image he did employ
which was akin to an advertisement
this being the artist's own singular ploy
did he do it for some little amusement
in galleries these very works can be seen
where they will feature an alike object
as if the viewer needed a copy screen
to understand the picture's subject
a dozen or more on the white background
they displayed a famous maker's name
who did blend the tasty liquid's abound
that was captured in a pop artist's frame
on this night I've written about the man
known far and wide for depicting a can

in group therapy
they asked me
when was the last time
i can remember loving my body

i thought about it
for a few moments
was it when
i was in bed with a
random man at the bar
or the time
i won over a man i thought i needed
or what about that one time
i finally fit into a size 3 jeans

no no no
it was not any of those

the last time i can remember
loving my body
was the summer i turned 7
it was a hot summer day
my sister and mother
took me on the ferris wheel
and i was petrified

i did not care to be scared
or show that i was scared
i did not care to live freely
but we all know that does not last forever
life takes over
and
bad things happen
and men take advantage of our bodies
thinking they can own anything
even a little girls body

i think through all of this
over and over
before speaking the words
i cannot remember
the last time i loved my body

I spent most my life fitting in
Shapeshifter in my own skin
To squeeze to whatever size
Matched the proportion of everyones lies

When you walked into my world
and undertook my greatest sin,
I sought to depict myself in your image
to yearn for the life you live,
and to lust after the life you love.
Despite my fantasy being a forgotten daydream,
I often long for that dream
to be my reality.

Is what her profile reads
I feel this statement needs
More than minor revision
For her words malign my vision

Of an exquisite lady
(a bit plump, maybe)
yet her eyes are a sweet fountain
Where my heart longs to remain

Her hair is a lush wonder that fills
My mind with life like the Pembina Hills
Her plush skin is preciousness bronzed a ***
Kissed softly by they passing of Apollo the sun god

There is no “just”
about her I must
become more aware
of a beauty rare

Could this lovely
lady speak with me
Seek to see what the stars mean for there to be
If I am to be meant for her, and her for me?
~NM
08/31/19