Autumn frost seeps in through the cracks
In my bedroom window.
It follows the footprints left behind
By summer, still blooming
Vivid green and burning orange
On my fingertips.
I open my eyes again
But it's all just grey.
Grey.
Grey.
Grey rain and grey hands,
Grey fog dripping from my frozen throat.
Grey.
It's a depression that's cured
By the singing sun;
My skin hasn't seen the light
In decades. Blue broken skin
Burnt by ice and bruised
By the desperate hands of winter,
Trying to grasp me
With all of the gentle laughter
That comes with summer's warmth
And instead leaving thick, black
Marks upon my skin,
Marks which are fading to
Grey.
I held hands with the sun once,
Felt her power and grace,
Her hair swept across valleys
And wove itself with golden leaves
But now it's matted
And falling out at the roots.
Her skin is pale and thin
And she's plucking the eyes from her head
As my limbs are encapsulated in ice
And I'm greyer and greyer...
And I'm gone. All gone.

Don't need to hide it.
No need to faking it.
You don't love me like I love you.
No feeling no heart no soul.
The light we shared has turn to darkness.
Colder than ice we are drifting apart.
Choosing to let you go and save my dying heart.
I don't miss the fun we had.
Can't live in a lie.
I am free and i learned love can burn any heart.

A river frozen deep, a blanket of smooth ice.
Wide and forever in all directions.

I skate.

Wind whispering through the strands of my hair,
a sweet conversation.

Gliding,

I draw with the blades of my skates,
My skirt is flattered by the wind, how flirtatious.

Flying,

My feet begin to confuse the ice for air and start to float.

Free.

I feel the warmth of ice.

One day, you will feel me
in ways you have never felt me before
The way you once touched my skin, never again
to the way you called me yours
you will feel me in the pit of my soul

Some day, you will understand all of me
in a brand new way that you never knew before
those sweet nothings you whispered,
they will turn to rocks
that I will make you run on in the burning heat
once you finally understand what it means to raise hell

and I cannot wait until the hour
that I can glare at you, and you at me
with such frigidness in my eyes

That  it will force you to question
why such a fiery wrath,
can burn in a heart so cold.

-Chloe Aldecoa

To all my sober friends,

If you were one of my friends during my addiction that I left behind
please forgive me I am sorry.
I wasn't in the right frame of mind

I was too focused on my chaotic life,
I wasn't available to be there for you
please don't judge me based on who I became and what I had to do

Some of you may not understand what it's like on Satan's dance floor
before the devil found me,
remember who I was before

Some of you know the combination to unlock the demon's vaults
knowing the secret to walk away instead of being in a never-ending waltz

To all my sober friends, you possess a strength that I admire
some of you found joy in life again, some of you never fell into the fire

Just don't blame yourself for my actions, I made my own choices
I knew the game, I took the risks and listened to the evil voices

I was once that sober friend who was always getting left out
I could never grasp what hold the drugs had and what they were all about

Embarrassed by the slave I'd become there was only me to blame
I knew all this but still I took his hand and walked right into the flame

It wasn't a conscious decision it was one that was vexed
It was based on who can inflate your ego and where to score next

I could ask anyone who's felt the flames to listen to what I have to say
But addicts hearts won't listen, they always need to learn the hard way

We need proof that it will ruin our lives to the darkest parts of our souls
we need to see it with our own eyes, we need to feel the holes

We broke our promises that we made and took his hand to dance
even though we wanted to rest the devil continued to prance

Dragging us through every waltz, tango and two-step
when we fall he comforts us like a friend he's always kept

All along it was us, we were the ones who needed to let go
I hope you never dance with him, i hope you never know

I pray you never understand, I pray you see me for who I use to be
when I let go of his hand I hope you'll be there waiting for me

Hold out a hand for me, be someone

that makes the  bad things run and hide
not someone that I allow to drag me, be someone who walks beside

You give me the hope that I can be strong and let go of the devil's hand
there is a better life than dancing to the devil's evil band

You're my prayer I say each night before I go to sleep
please know that you crossed my mind when I was in too deep

I didn't want to be embarrassed, if we didn't talk you wouldn't know
if i didn't see you then there would be nothing I had to show

I wouldn't let you down like I let myself down every day
thank you for being who you are, it's for you I pray

Continue being the light because one day I won't be at his command
I will see you again even if you choose not to take my hand

Even if you're not there waiting know that with your help i grew
I hold no loathing towards you, you just did what i could never do

It's not the life I wanted, it's one I wouldn't have picked
with kind regards, from yours sincerely, your friend the drug addict

on the edge
the end of it all
one slight slip
and i just mite fall
over into a world of illusion
Death metal *** and confusion
for animosity has stricken me
taken my mind
and made me free
now all i feel
and all i see
Is the hell and Damnation inside of me

In a few hours I'll be standing face to face with him for the first time.

The boy with the dangerous brown eyes..

The boy who wants to be by my side although he knows I'm just scattered pieces.

There's something about him.

He's slowly melting my heart.

I can feel the butterflies frozen in ice starting to move again.

Such a wierd, scary feeling that I can't stop.

I feel myself giving in,
though I promised myself I wouldn't.

Oh what a dangerous boy..

let the silence be
the noise
in your early mornings
filled with smoke,
subtle noises from homes,
and dry leaves lying against
the ground.

You hear the howling at a
distance by the wild hounds;
the hands filled with soil,
clothing went ***** by
dust and coal.

A man dies with regrets
and charges
But the faith of everyone
never changes
The foes come forth,
escaping the barriers
towards the north.
A morning of soon
destruction and terror.

I hold onto the hope that someday I will see them. Those lights drug across the sky by a goddess with her water colour brush. Greens and blues and pinks that dance a star's song into being while the sky stretches and wakes up and prepares to host this fit of brilliance. When people down below lift their eyes to the heavens. Irises are filled and reflect a dazzling champagne of pastels which God has created. He wants to say 'I love you' and could think of no better way than this expression. Where snow gives way to reflective ice and the shiny sparkles slide silently through the night. It is the visual of the heart when in love, and it lights up the night like the first beautiful moment of a stage being brought to life. The conductor lifts his hands and a radiant explosion surrounds the audience. Music is not needed and none will ever accurately describe it. Few will see this spectacularity because the auroras only reveal themselves to the minds that wander and the hands that reach towards heaven.