On a gusty autumn night
Another husband was swept,
Somber under the porch light,
Abigail watched and wept.

No men were happy,
As they dealt with poor Abby –
Day in and day out,
So miserable and naggy.

Nine is such a tender age
For a father to leave his daughter,
In horror, Abby waved,
Her mind underwater.

Crimes of parents, what a shame
Those with good ones count your blessings,
Lest we forget little Abby’s pain
And teach our children similar lessons.

as a young girl
I told my mother
I would never get married
and I stuck by that
for years

I got a boyfriend
but I knew
I was never
going to
actually
marry him

but as time goes on
and I get older
and people around me
are getting married
and starting lives
I keep listening to love songs
and noticing
what I want
in a husband

and I am not one
to settle
or settle down
but I made a
google doc
devoted to songs
I want played at my wedding
even though
I've never wanted
a wedding

my loneliness keeps creeping
in
watching me
but
I've finally
succumbed to it
and I want
to make it go away

and for the first time
in my ever expanding
life
I want to stop being alone
and can't stop pondering
childlike
dream wedding
fantasies

****

If I were to write it would be about the women next door,
Or the child who sits alone in the school corridor.


If I were to write it would be about my dear friend
Whose secrets I know, whose heart knows no end.

If I were to write it would be about my mother
Her soft words of optimism, oh how I love her.

If I were to write it would be about my baby son.
As he grows, he will grow to learn the man he'll become.

I would write of my sister
Her brave face, her calm grace. In the dark she shines lighter.

I would write of my husband
The way we love and fight like a boat in a storm.
I wish he could keep me in his arms.

If I were to write I would write about heartbreak,
Because I know it too well and the sound that it makes.


If I were to write I would write about hope,
Because the boy left with nothing has to find ways to cope.

If I were to write It would be about goodbyes,
The walls people build, but you can see it in their eyes.

If I were to write, I'd try to write about what out loud I can't say.  

Even though I fear I won't put it into words properly.

I know life evolves but I stay still anyway,

And I'm scared  that my mind is eroding away.

The life I knew, I do not know anymore.
The life I lived, is not like before.
Before you left, things made sense
Now your gone, the world is intense
Intense in the way that it feels like fear.
I want to feel sad, but the shock is severe.

It does bring comfort to know you are ok.
Though you’re gone, you’re not far away.
I can feel you the most when I am alone.
I can’t see your farce, or call on the phone.
I wish it me, instead of being you.
You would have known what to do.

Here on this earth, I am truly alone.
I don’t belong here, this isn’t my home.
For now I know I must figure this out.
With uncertainty, insecurity and doubt.

One thing that is certain,
One thing that is sure.
This is just a short stop,
It is only a minor detour
For something much bigger, grander and fine.
Some call it heaven,  the above, the divine.

I know you are there, and it’s a much better place.
You did your best on the earth, you ran the rat race.
Earth is not meant for a kind soul.
That’s why you left early, I am not whole.
When I look at the cosmos on the darkest of night.
I can see your light, shining so bright

I woke this morning, feeling lazy,

Slowly slipping from my dreams

Of you and me and us together,

Happiness surrounding me;

Enveloping and comforting, a

Duvet hug of epic scale,

Of arms and legs entwined together

Never ending, ever safe

And warm and patient, always loving;

Then you wake and smile at me.

I'll try to worry about you less
but I can't make any promises
because when someone holds
your entire world
just in the palm of their hand
you worry that they'll forget
and drop it
and you'll be left with your world
sitting there shattered on the floor

Have you eaten yet?
When are you getting home?
Where are you going?
I thought that we...
How long will it take?
Whose with you?
Can I come?
I'm worried.

Says, Love