Feb 6 Toby
Shay Spencer Berit
Peeping, because the persona
      is for the public eye.
My private, quiet time
      is for my benefit alone.
The door is broken slightly
      for your directed gaze.
I beg my invitation,
      naked for the gavel sound.
You only ever scrape my breasts   .
      the inevitable final stop
      on your permissive pilgrimage
  Feb 6 Toby
Zero Nine
I feel the strands push through my scalp for blue skies
Grow up, grow tall, then steeple palm to palm
Praise the sun! but where's the sun?

Legend says it's there to reach for men with means
If love, if happiness, then just take a grip
Praise the sun! but where's the sun?

Preach goodliness like you've the throat, the road to heaven
Preach to us like you'll sell deviants the verse

Raise the men! but what's a man?
Praise the sun! that never burned.

I'm over. I'm over.
Been over all along.
  Jan 22 Toby
Shay Spencer Berit
Bucket banger blisters her fat on the beat she beats
cool cool cool, cool, cool, cool cool breeze

Licking the split of the bottom lip
                                                      or
Deli­cately forcing the shallow slits
                                                      into scars

Wanting a way just means the will has come hungry
What are you doing to get your means met?

You're critically incorrect should you choose to step lightly

Stomp the path paved with her silent shout,
prove your worth to everyone,

Guarantee the gravestone sleeps namelessly
  Jan 22 Toby
Shay Spencer Berit
3 eggs
2 pieces of toast
1 cup of earl grey
toast!
the rainfall
kiss me in the kitchen
pull the hairs up, scrape
raise the bumps
toast!
the rainfall
fuck me through the window
or love me tenderly         i don't deserve it
i eat and sustain while i complain
3, 2, 1, over the years         over the friend loss
you are the same, sad that you love me
but you love me
                             you love me
                                                   you love me
                                                                         you love me
                                                                                               you love me
Toby Jan 12
That feeling when you know you aren't enough.
You can never quite shake that feeling.
Always there, always nagging.
It's never in just one area of your life.
It's everywhere.
No matter what you are doing, you know it's never enough.
You know that you are never enough.
You look and see what your presence does to those around you.
You see hurting, pain, and longing for something different.
They says it's okay, I just need to try harder.
Still doesn't help.
No matter what I do, they will always be miserable.
I will never be enough.
I'll be enough when I'm dead.
  Dec 2017 Toby
Zero Nine
Broke, sitting with half plate
Pasta, butter, spice
Shuffle through my old clothes
I used to look nice

What is nice, but smaller?
Smaller, smaller, still
String bean and potatoes
Go fine together

The grocer tries to tell me,
"Divide, conquer, divide."
"What is nice, but smaller?"

I guess the grocer's right
  Dec 2017 Toby
Zero Nine
We dream
we want
the awards you take
We dream
we buy
the hypocrisy
We dream
we want
the new days you describe
in your speeches

The soap box betrays you

Twitter. Tweeting. Facebook. Facade.
Insta. Instant. Dopamine rush.

If you could separate your self from the stage,
that would be great.
-- but if you're going to make a political statement
while accepting an award for your humanity,
you might want to think about what your
individual actions tell the world about you.

Who will listen?
Who will ask?
Looks like money once more
takes the last laugh.
Opulence. "Must be nice."
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