After long years,
Our paths crossed
He's still in love with me,
And I swear I love him even more - the one I hurt before
The one who learned to hate me the most when I left him with no words
We commenced together again
Hoping that our love story will have a fairytale-like ending for the second time around.
Crossed fingers, wishing it will never end this time.

But for those around us,
The second chance is a big NO NO!
For a liar,
For a cheater like me
There's no luck for another bite of the cherry
But for him, he took the risk
And it's totally fine
He doesn't care because he said true love exists.

Until the man I thought I knew suddenly forgot to hold my hand
To touch my face,
To kiss my hand,
To be the same as he promised to be,
To be the one who will never go away from me.
Until one day, he listened to them.
He slowly changed his mind,
His thoughts, his heart.
'Til I know him no more
The saddest thing is,
The fear that one day he'll go to me and tell the same things his friends said against me came
That I am a liar,
A cheater
and should not have been given the shot
Finally, he walked away and never turned back.  

So I'm here
Left all alone
Waiting for a time machine to turn me back to the time
That I should have not wasted his love,
His loyalty,
His trust.
I wish I could turn back to those days that hurting him was out of my vocabulary.
If only I could,
I will.
I really will.

And yes, I continue to exist with this love for him
To the one, I hurt before
With the one who hated me the most
And I can't resist...
'Coz even he's already out of my life,
I'll still fall in love with him again and again.
It will be the hardest to forget him
For he never thought me how
And it kills me even more,
That everyday, I die.

i think about it every day
how your hands felt like the oceans
how your arms scream the fire
how your words gave me everything i ever thought i needed
but oh my
why do you have to leave?

Does it make you happy when you drink all that alcohol? Does it make you forget all the pain and stress of the world?  Does it let you hide from your real feelings? Drowning your emotions with in all the empty bottles. Does it help you sleep better at night? Knowing you’ll wake up only to repeat the process all over again.
~
Does it make you happy when you abuse her?
Does it make you feel powerful? Although in reality you're just as big as your actions. Does it give you relief when she falls to the ground? When she's bleeding in silence from all those strikes just to make you whole. Does it help you sleep after using her like a 10 year old girl with a doll? Is this your idea of loving her? Or are you just a killer?
~
Does it make you happy yelling? Yelling at those who thought you loved yet you yell and scare them. Do you use that fear as power? Does it feel good to make others feel as if they have no future or worth in this world? Does it help your self esteem to be little others.

I lay in bed beneath your body,
Panting and exposed,
Your hands created tremors,
Shaking legs and quavering moans.
Your lips were soft on mine,
Hearts fluttering fast,
Heated passionate kisses,
Tangled hair and messy sheets.
Bodies tangled,
Heavy breathing,
Knotted up hair,
Hickey peppered skin.
You said unto me,
Fingers buried in my skin,
My hair covering our faces,
Our foreheads pressed together.
“I will love you forever.”
We were one person,
One moment,
One soul.
We shared the oxygen that lingered between us,
Love poured from heavy weight of our need,
Our want.
We were done for and for once,
I was perfectly fine with his lingering touch on my body.