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nabila s Sep 7
i hope that someday
i wake up among the sun, the moon, everything that shines
i hope that someday
i feel grateful for what i’ve become, what i have, what i am, what i deserve
i hope that someday
i am no longer inside the blues, feeling the greys, spreading the reds
i hope that someday
i will be enough

but for now
please let me be
nabila s Aug 12
it’s time for me to go home. no more feeling blue, either the one causing bruise or the one that sets free.
maybe it’s you all along, never letting me in. throwing hearts by the bay seems to always be your thing, i see.
i keep telling myself you’re not the one. you’re not the one. you’re never the one. you will never be the one.
nevertheless, i always come back to one who has the brightest grin among all the fishes in the sea, one who says the least but worry the hardest, one who walks so slow but runs within my entire living existence, one who is loved by the world, yet loves the slightest.
and by that, one who blesses my being breaks like a thunderstorm as well.
anyone can’t deny the fact that you’re such a dream for a curse in a graceful disguise.
it finally comes to and end, i hope.

perhaps, you’re the best, you’re the worst, you’re the worst best person i ever catch on.
and perhaps, you’re not meant to be a home after all.
one time i got my heart broken
nabila s Aug 2
The first time I got my heartbreak
Things jumped out of place
Time felt so long as it tick-tocked
Tears got out of hand it went to be the river
It was my first time getting rejected
I had no idea it would leave a void
After all I never regretted any
As if you were my last choice
made this 30 minutes ago, fresh out of the oven.
nabila s Jul 2018
afraid of having you wholefully
for a fear of losing you pieces by pieces, slowly
from trapping you inside of me 24/7
to letting you go entirely
by saying i love you each and every single night
doesn't mean i want to be yours
i just wanted to feel, be loved, by loving
in case i don't get any of you
either because you're not used to me
or you choose not to
it doesn't matter
cause every time
my eyes scream 'you look beautiful' in every light i met you
my heart runs a marathon for the hope of welcoming yours into mine
even my nose sense a tragic yet desiring story of one who fell so deep
one became so in love
and for each time you smile, not for me, for who, but the world,
my existence has been blessed for letting you be one of thousands i've seen
one of hundreds i know
one of few i befriend
one of one i fell for

and when the time comes,
i know my invitation never really went away
still, didn't give up yet.
nabila s Jan 2017
It's not like the moon is going to call me and you—because us is not a proper term to be said—this late and make us a quick instant lover. I just have this emotion that is telling me to avoid you for good despite the fact that i know i should've done it from at least a day ago, or a month ago, or even never fell for you at all on the first time. However, for you—the one that im not going to mention,—somebody is still into and waiting for your living appearance in her life.
title creds : who is fancy - goodbye's lyrics. The song is good tho, y'all should listen to it
  Sep 2016 nabila s
love changes
love doesn't rub my cheeks gently like love used to
love doesn't hold my hand as tight as love used to
love doesn't smile a lot these days
love's eyes are full of uncertainty
doesn't share his thoughts anymore
love doesn't share his favorite songs
love doesn't joke freely like before

love is still love but
love doesn't miss me when i'm away
love used to text me with “I guess you're asleep, may tomorrow you be safe, let me know when you're awake, and goodnight!” when i fell asleep and forgot to text back
love doesn't notice me as much as love did a month ago

i'm not saying love is dead but
love doesn't say love like love did
love doesn't love like love did
love gets busier
love gets fader
love thought i was joking when i said “I give up”

love won't answer my texts
love won't pick up my calls

love now walks faster than me
love now speaks in a lower tone
love is now silent
love feels awkward seeing me
love now doesn't sound as excited
and as curious
love is now not as comfortable with my presence
is it normal for love?

or maybe love is dead?
love fell asleep one day and woke up not love
wrong love
maybe love has become somebody else's love
maybe love is still love but not for my love
maybe love is still love but love is tired
maybe love is still love but love is getting tired of my love

or maybe love is just dead.

love is now more brilliant
love stands tall in love's world
love is loved by so many loves
love forgets about love's love
love thrives
love grows
nabila s Sep 2016
You should (probably) stay,
A couple more days,
Or hours,
Or minutes.

A little more longer.

Maybe i should've asked you to,
But i didn't.

Since i knew,
That you would no longer
Stop a single second
Just to stare.
why not
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