How can you judge me?
when clearly, you are the one with the insecurity.
How can someone I don't speak to,
have such a heavy input in my life.
Do I look like a fool to you?
My mood shouts belligerence,
and my action screams ******.
I know you heard from her,
I am the only person in your world,
who can ruin it everything that you ever loved,
I am an angel from up above turned,
into a devil below.
I can't describe my anger,
but I know I am confused.

I feel like
I have lost
the battle
in a one-warrior
war

Notre Dame Burns
Jerusalem Obliterated
Raised in Three Days
Yet Persists Wars and Bitter Hatred

Meadows of loving emotion
Jostle us kindly away
From cascades of swollen ire
That guide our desires astray.

The sun is sick of me these days.
He doesn't see me.

I reek of desperation.

I know this because the stars, like flowers, have closed their buds.
I'm repugnant in this moment.
everything wilts when I am present.

The sky cries for me,
The clouds send rain to wash away these feelings,

but even the rain is drowning in my desperation.

Am I becoming more dire than global warming?

burning light of golden grace,
peace kisses fly around the Earth,
I see the humans, they are afraid,
filled with hatred and despise,
come catch the flying birds of hope,
aspire high, it's time to grow.

The song I played for you on the phone,
The jokes you had me on,
It’s things like that,
Making me feel so alone,

Had to leave so many houses,
Just to find out, non could be a home
It’s things like that,
Vanishing me when I wasn’t even gone,

Standing by the window in the dark,
Wondering where I lost my spark,
It’s things like that,
Always bleeding, leaving a heavy mark,

I want to sleep, but oh I can’t,
I need to, but I don’t feel a thing,
It’s things like that,
Freezing me inside and out,

There’s so much to weep over,
But the tears seem stagnant,
It’s things like that,
Leaving me —insignificant remnant

If I ever had one, that soul’s dead,
Brutally murdered, not once,
Sometimes with words,
Other times —silence

I accept me,
I know exactly who and how I am,
One would call that ‘ self-aware ’,
Though I would be the first to arrive if they ever did a self-hatred fair,
Insults of myself, I can name many,
Compliments, now that’s gonna take me a century,
If anyone ever tries to belittle me, I’d probably agree,
“No one can insult me better than me”, I’d say proudly.

Giving out love is something I’m good at,
Receiving it was always questionable ,
Feeling awkward because I never understood why,
I get that they care, it’s not that I think it’s a lie,
Just that doubts keeps piling up like bills,
And my mind has become a landfill,
Where every step I take is a step closer to my anxiety,
That will swallow me up with no mercy.

Why do I blame myself for everything?
I’m so forgiving but yet not to me?
Spreading self love, it kinda comes along with my trait of being righteous,
But I’m no where near to being the greatest,
Everyone has themselves to fall back on,
For me, it’s just a trust fall with no one to rely on,
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate myself,
I just don’t love myself.

My impulses guide me again and again
Light in clear path yet I stray toward sin
A hand grabs my shoulder to pull me back in
A familiar face, room, and warmth from within

Sweet fragrance of the void of which I cling
As I jump I start to hear the angels sing
Their singing growing to a shrieking sting
Oh god how I wish I still had my wings