Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Aria Apr 2019
I wonder, have I ever known you?
A friendship that sparked instantly,
We had a lot in common,
A breakthrough for me who disliked guys,
The friendship that I was wishing for,
Or so I thought.

A war that we fought,
Without realizing what we had was toxicated,
Trying to salvage something that was long broken,
A week of fun and smiles,
Followed by a week of despair and tears,
That was the repetitive cycle of our friendship.

I wonder, have I ever known you?
A  friendship destroyed by the lies you made,
Strengthen by your hypocritical self,
People hated me for the image you set,
My intentions were misunderstood,
Made me look like “I’m in it with you”.

I felt like I failed my best friend,
Leaving him consumed by your darkness,
With that mask that remains inseparable from your face,
Hiding away from all the unspeakable act that you did ,
Creating a delusional for people to believe,
I believed it.

I wonder, have I ever known you?
When you lied to my face to them,
whenever you were with me,
I thought I had you figured out,
Well, there’s a lot more then what meets the eye,
Honestly,I pity those who is still stuck in the clasp of your beautiful lie.

What’s left is the feeling that has held captive within me,
A source of darkness slamming me back to the past,
Consuming me whenever it has the chance to,
A series of voices that comes with it, blaming myself,
Now, even the sight of you gives me anxiety,
Even if that person isn't you.

I wonder, have you ever known me?
You broke the one thing I cherished the most, friendship,
You created something I hate the most, misunderstandings,
You made people think I was involved in something I despise the most, an affair,
I kept blaming myself that, I forgot to blame you,
You were not a good friend and perhaps, I didn’t know you.
He ended our friendship through text.
Aria Apr 2019
I accept me,
I know exactly who and how I am,
One would call that ‘ self-aware ’,
Though I would be the first to arrive if they ever did a self-hatred fair,
Insults of myself, I can name many,
Compliments, now that’s gonna take me a century,
If anyone ever tries to belittle me, I’d probably agree,
“No one can insult me better than me”, I’d say proudly.

Giving out love is something I’m good at,
Receiving it was always questionable ,
Feeling awkward because I never understood why,
I get that they care, it’s not that I think it’s a lie,
Just that doubts keeps piling up like bills,
And my mind has become a landfill,
Where every step I take is a step closer to my anxiety,
That will swallow me up with no mercy.

Why do I blame myself for everything?
I’m so forgiving but yet not to me?
Spreading self love, it kinda comes along with my trait of being righteous,
But I’m no where near to being the greatest,
Everyone has themselves to fall back on,
For me, it’s just a trust fall with no one to rely on,
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate myself,
I just don’t love myself.

— The End —