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Alicia Allen Jun 2018
Here is a response I must give but cannot give to whom must receive it.
You feed the need.
A yawning dark and deep emptiness that lies within.
devouring everything it touches
dragging to its depths
an eternity of punishing hunger, wild and intense
gnawing away at the fabric of my mind, an emptiness that desires you
your presence,your warmth, your smell, your very soul.
to placate, to fill
I crave for you.
a yearning so maddening, it is frightening
But even as you fill, you increase the emptiness. crazed and rabid, I desire you still.
an ache as tangible as it is visceral
as painful as it sooths
as though I am caught in a fevered dream
tell me my perception from your reality
you feed the need, even as you cause the hunger still.
a desire so strong it physically hurts
justine grace Apr 2018
She prefers coffee than tea
romance over action
the window seat whenever she travels
ballads than punk rock
a hopeless romantic
for cliche scenes
roses and daisies are
the favourite among all
she loves all that
yet she'll love you more
than a character in the book she reads
she'll do whatever it is to make you happy
regardless the good days or the bads
you can always count on her to be there
she makes you dizzy
she makes you think
she makes you go crazy
but you go crazier if you don't get to see her
even for a day
because you love her
you have fallen for her
the way she talks
the way she smiles
laugh
rambles on about current dramas
and gets excited everytime
her favourite artists comes out with a new single
you love her quirks
her silliness
how good of a heart she possesses
and how far she would go for the people she loves
she sees the good in people
even when they have done her wrong
she forgives because she believes in change
but she breaks
she doesn't realize that she's just human
that she has feelings
that she can't fix everybody and everything
because that is life
people step on you and make use of your goodness
so you protect her
with all you got
even if it hurts her
you protect her heart
because you love her
because it's your responsibility
to keep her happy
and protect her from the bad

J.G.S
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2018
I do not know why I love the needle
The pain as it enters my skin
I long for the sight of blood bursting into the syringe
Far more than the dangerous drugs contained within
I wrote this right after I got clean and realized how hard it is to go from shooting up three times a day to not at all. I figured it was fitting since today i have been clean off ****** for THREE MONTHS! Everyone out there struggling: you can do it!!!!
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2018
I love the needle
They call it a "fixation"
I call it friendship
I hate that i am/was addicted to such a self harming object more than the drugs themself. I dont miss ****** at all but i do still think about the thrill of seeing blood fill the syringe. I also had a horrible time hitting a vein so that is probably also part of it.
CE Jan 2018
a 7 day
is the only day
I can get into heaven

46 times a year
(not including the whole of july)
I'm allowed to try

7, 17, 27

lucky numbers

I didn't think I'd make it through 2017
a year of free passes
to let the angels walk me down the aisle
and marry me to the sky

on a 7 day
they- the angels-
will calm my trembling and convulsing body
clean up all of my *****
take out the part of my brain that makes me feel bad
grab hold of my bleeding wrists and bandage them with feathers and love

they hold my hands
lifting me up by the grace of god herself
and 700 eyes emerge
out of every wound and pore in my skin

and I become
my own angel
my own god

I will become
my own holy number 7
suicide by number 7 seems like a wonderful way to go. Maybe thats my autism talking.
Zero Nine Nov 2017
Sipping on OJ after ***, after ******* on a cigarette
   Night outside grows frozen as Autumn slips into Winter
She the Fire sleeps deeply, deep inside of me
   She's determined to hang moss bangs over Her face
      Block Her view from death's stony stare
         She's determined to sleep forever

What if I cut, what if I dig the skin to wake Her?
                   What if I starve the stomach?
Heave the breast toward the hand upon the chest with razor?

We all need Fire in the coldest days
Don't tell me   I'm in control
As you speak them, I speak too
We all say
   We all say
Don't tell me   I'm in control
We all break
   We all break
We've all broken ourselves

She's determined to sleep forever
   I'll
      wake
         Her
i'm ready
I'm sorry that I look away every time I catch your glance
But I got hurt so badly the last time I took a chance
I know it sounds cliche but I can't fall into your trance
I can't allow myself to be anything more than an acquaintance

But you're so beautiful
So beautiful
And if I wasn't so ****** I probably could love you
If you wanted me to
You're so beautiful

And love at first sight might not be love at all
I know you have my number, but you probably won't call
The anticipation's enough to make my flesh crawl
I've never felt so tiny, no I've never felt so small

But you're so beautiful
So beautiful
And if you weren't across the room I could probably love you
If you wanted me to
Because you're so beautiful

And I love you
Yes I love you
Your eyes are kind and large
I have to fight the urge
To walk over
I won't walk over

-E (c) 2017
This is for J.M., written on 3/18/17, after a concert at The Jungle.
Little Bear Jul 2016
do you think you'll ever lay her to rest?
allow her to sleep?
she's stayed awake for months on end
and every time she tried to close her eyes
you shook her awake
again

telling just one more tale
one more tall story
one more lie
that we must all
simply listen to

listen to this little ditty
i'm sure you'll recall it
once i'm done
do you remember the time we...?
no.. not really..

without sleep
all she sees are hallucinations
disjointed recollections
of the tissue paper life
that blows..

in the breeze

did you know
sleep deprivation
is a form of torture?

and you have kept her up
long enough

and she's tired of being worn
like an overcoat
as your splendid outer garment
in all it's melancholy finery
passersby remark
on how well you wear her
and you have the audacity to say
'Oh this old thing'

she's wearing thin and eventually
she'll disappear
altogether

she's becoming threadbare in places
and no matter how tightly
you wrap yourself up in her
she won't keep you warm

but that's only because
you don't want her to get warm
or let her go to sleep
you just won't let her rest in peace
will you
Arturo Hernandez Mar 2016
I saw your neck line.

I felt a wind
Being blown to my chest,

We were in a crowd when
Suddenly,
We were the only ones there;

The earth stood still
and for a moment I thought
I could hear my own breath.
Dae Staebell Dec 2015
She veils her face
In sinister shades
Powdered porcelain
Eyes of jade

Raven hair
My focus ensnared
Jet black obsidian heart
My lips does she part

Vicious and vile
With a serpentine smile
Cunning and cruel
C'est la vie, a bid adieu
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