Age 4, Your father broke your heart before any boy had the chance too.

Your life will be completely different without a father

Age 5, No one to call you princess

You cry when you see your friend's father call them princess

Age 6, No one to hug you when you cry from bullies

You hate going to school

Age 7, No one to tell you "I'll beat up every guy that hurts you"

You don't get to laugh when he says that

Age 8, No one to tell you are beautiful

You hate your body and think your fat

Age 9, No one to tell you "It's okay"

You cry yourself to sleep every night

Age 10, No one to tell you, "You are perfect"

You think you are the ugliest person in your school

Age 11, No one to tell you, "You are too young for boys"

You get your heart broken over and over too young

Age 12, Your father is not there

You miss him and ask yourself why he left

Age 13, Being told you have "Daddy Issues"

Age 14, No father to tell you, "You look beautiful without make up"

You beat your face with make up

Age 15, No father to say to your first date, "If you hurt her, I will **** you"

You get hurt

Age 16, No one to dance with you when they call in daddy daughter dance on your sweet sixteen

You ask yourself why he left again

Age 17, No one to tell you to change out of that clothes because he knows guys couldn't resist

You might get *****.

Age 18, No one to tell you, "My little princess, you have come so far, I am a proud father"

You see all your friend's father telling them this and miss you

Age 19, No one to warn you about ***** boys

You have to fight off a guy

Age 20, No one to tell your boyfriend, "I have a rifle, I am not afraid to use it"

You don't get to say "Dad!!!"

18+ age, No one to walk you down the aisle

You tell yourself, "I made it, I made it through the good and bad"
You have a husband or wife or neither, you made it without him.
You made it through the tears, the heart aches, the pain of missing him. He missed your whole life, you realize he didn't deserve you or seeing your life grow.

but, who needs fathers anyway?
we "fatherless daughters"
we are strong.
we don't need any man.
we fight.
on our own.
everyday.
the never ending battle.
but, in the end
who needs them?

(l.j.t.)

Your toothbrush next to mine, your shoes on the rack, your favourite mug & your pyjamas that I now can’t go to sleep without. Everything makes me feel like you’re here with me.

You know how the sunlight gives the pond beautiful algae, but the same algae leaves fishes breathless? Likewise, I feel so suffocated by your presence.

Every single thing only serves to remind me of your absence. I realise then, that I’m alone in this place. I am without a father. I’m crippled and incomplete and I’m alone and I’m without you.

Can you blame me? Yea I was in and out the bed, goin to and from men, looking for affection.

You can love another child that's not yours, give them hugs, buy them gifts, all the while treating my like ****, like I'm some kid off the streets. Or some so so child you gotta babysit?

I'm sorry for the things I've done, but this wouldn't have happened, if you hadn't did what you done.

You gave me all I wanted in the world for a minute, but then I mess up, own up, and you dismiss me like 'forget it'? Not even a third chance, you brushed me off like dirt on your pants.

You expect me to strong, but you don't answer when I call, and you get angry when someone talks to you about me, and then put me at fault, when really your the one that made the push that ultimately led to my fall.

You told me you'd always be there, that you'd love me through it all, but clearly all you care about is that woman you call your wife, she's just temporary,at anytime she could drop out your life.


But me? I'm permanent. You can take that to the bank, but daddy why I gotta ask; for me do you have so much hate?

That is how I feel
To forgive has left me without strength
That child with all the love to give is all grown up
Like a full grown tree I don’t need your watering
My roots go down real deep
In Christ I found solace stability and love
Love craved for from you
Strong trees don’t usually confess but I wasn’t always strong
I didn’t understand
I wish I  never knew you
That I could cook up your goodness and intended love if you’d had the opportunity
But you weren’t dead,dad
You were simply absent
And me
I was simply fatherless

Your could have been a better dad

Or better dead

I know I won't get as angry I want to be,
And I'll regret me,
Because I'm never able to do it;
She always changes something,
Somehow it always gets better for her,
But it just gets worse for me.
I just become more guilty,
Even only by listening.

I feel like I can never really express my feelings,
Yet I still seem to do it too much,
Then I still fall.
So many things are happening,
This always repeats;
It has horrible timing.
If ignorance is a good thing,
Why is it so hard to actually
Keep it?

And I keep picturing loads of the same things.
When I'm not sure what I feel,
Maybe I hide from it.
I peak and when I see
I can no longer believe
So I just wait to weep.
I've no clue what to say,
Without any more delay,
I'll race through the page,
Give it all a way
In factual content:
I'll probably seem fine.
But it's not that way at all.

Where is the twinkle
the one who shots across
             my vision,
my star....

I look and see a starless void.

You were meant to guide me,
but you are vacant like the sky.

It hurts sometimes
It screams inside
Is this pain really mine?
It clenches together in my insides
Making me dream, wishing for a better time.
I'll do just fine
That's always my line.
If something's not there
You're supposed to bring yourself to it,
But what can I seek
when whatever I need
ceases to exist out of my mind?
They say my reckless head helps me,
I tell myself I can use it to encourage myself,
But still it hurts me all the same.
You see, I use it to give what I haven't got
It's of no use because it kills with a slightly stronger dose.

I can try to forget
It can't last long,
Nothing's supposed to be pain free.
However there's other things
I just can't be bothered to feel,
And if I almost do I just stop:
Because they're not the most important;
They don't come back day by day,
Just to join me in the night.
I never had a "daddy" to sing a lullaby.
For years I didn't want one,
Half convinced still I wasn't missing out,
Yet now it's starting to hurt
Then I realise I'll never find my soulmate.
The percentage isn't in my favour,
How could it ever be?
How do you find your one person
out of 7.5 billion?
If I can't have a father,
how could I get an eternal partner?
Lacking strengthens my need,
For that perfect guy in my head to love me.
He's not here though,
And he never will be,
Tough as it is, I'll never be away from him.
Lack creates need,
tries to make up for things:
This is how it feels when you can't fill either gap.

Spaces are filled by made up places.
Spaces are areas without meaning,
Places are of meaning or association, unempty.
The space is one half of a non-existing f a m i l y.
My place is where I can have a future boyfriend made of better things.
My reckless head
Is supposed to give hope and safety,
Shelter me from reality.
My reckless head
Don't they know it breaks me,
To dream of things
That can never be?

Spaces are there.
Places are put there.
Needed
Unwanted
Despair
Desired
Anyone else there?
Is there a difference that you see?
All my minor sorrows seem the same to me.