The Sovereign spins string on its fingertips
Creating a tapestry of one’s existence
Forced and bound tightly with silk
Silk braided into barbered wires

Choking and constricting to the very core
Thread searing and branding the body
Trapped in a web of deceit
Puppeteering while I try to lead

Captivated by crystalline chains
Chains which bind me to the eternal night
I stare at the darkness
The darkness stares back

Writhing in these woven webs
Struggling and suffocating
In harmonious cacophony
Desperately clawing towards freedom

The crystalline chains crack
Braided silk unravels into strands
Woven webs wax and wane
Nature’s hold withers away

Released from the cocoon of futility
Threads of fate snapped and spindled
Forced tapestry destroyed and left undone
Replaced by a blank piece of cloth

I wander down the boardwalk
as I used to, many years ago.
Metering my steps to feel some semblance of control.
The yellow streetlights set fire to my
pupils over and over again as I pass under.

There's an old, soft breeze from the
lakeshore coming in.
Although you can't necessarily see the lake from here.
"This is the nice part of town" I tell myself, as my soul rests into the cityscape
and prepares itself.

I'm meeting her tonight.

In many ways its the same night as
many years ago. Warm,
but not enough to be without
a sweater or some layer on top. Although those who are young enough will likely wear less.
Perhaps she'll even choose
to wear that black jacket again.

Walking up the concrete, I look down and feel my feet underneath the weight of my bones. Every fiber and hair is on guard, and
I'm shaking.
"I'm going to give myself away" I think to myself. 

I arrive at a dimly lit restaurant, and take my seat on the outside patio. My weight sinks into my cotton shirt, and it in turn pushes into the cloth of the seat. I order some waters and try to breathe into the end of summer.

It's been a decade since I last saw her. Our last exchange was a cup of bittersweetness.
I cycle through thoughts of fate and destiny, wondering about where it is leading me, or I am leading myself, now in my 30's.
I settle on the fact that its all too grand to decide right now.

My phone rumbles against the glass of the table.
And just as quickly
I pounce to check. She's arriving.
I look around frantically but there are no familiar faces.
I feel colder and my heart races.
Am I ready?

Her dress comes from around the corner.
A firm, confident walk, the same as she had many years ago.
I used to observe it carefully when she came my way. She carries her bag cautiously, mindful of her surroundings, but still, seemingly at ease.

Her skin glows ever so sadly amidst the evening sun, a warm caramel reflection back into the sky. We exchange glances briefly. An acknowledgement of a time long ago, and the people we once were together.

It is time.

Well, I may drown
freeze to death overnight
under a tree, just

grow numb or be lucky
and get a place
to sleep in the shelter

under the hundred beds blanket
with a head hole for each
comfortably warm together

But even then, this morning
my neighbour didn't wake up
at the first, second and third gong

Floundering he went up
when the blanket was hoisted
Under the beams he hung still

a skinny body - we watched
and for a half we each fenced
an incense stick

I had to choose the richest
Otherwise they would have started a war
because of me, where is their sense?

In vain I cry
tears about myself
that don't change a thing

Nowhere between the curtains
in the inner rooms
my beauty is safe

My soul searches not knowing
what is true for the love
of my husband in my lap

Not bothered
by an eastern prince who
enchantingly plays the flute

to take me with him on his horses
of the sea to a palace on waters
that are glinting with misery

bringing ships packed full of clouds
and throwing my blossoms
back on the pebble-sand

The shackle removed from my wrist
Leaves it inornate;
Leaves me to wonder its fate
A bracelet or just a bigger brace.

"She left the city as a girl
And returned a woman
In the same shoes
On the same night.
A face in the darkness;
The reaper glimpsed
At journey's end.
He straddles the bridge
Between tonight and tomorrow--
He's a revolver with
One bullet missing
From the chamber;
He's the Wheel of Fortune
With its terms unwritten;
He's an unsigned DNR notice.
He's the end of the line."

...Now, here, I stand,
miles ahead,
on disconnecting tracks,
a once-raging fire,
slowly fading,
to a silver smoke...

Wondering,
...where did you go?

Have your own wolfish eyes,
peered into glassy irises
that even, in the silences,

reminded you,
of mine?

What existed, in me
that you let me, survive?

Mister, oh, please, let,
me in on your secret...
and tell me, now, do you regret ...

how you kept me... alive...?

Are you the catalyst?
Are you my muse?
My master?
My Shaman?
My guide?

Or some drifter who sparked something
Dead in me...
Too dormant to pry from
The floorboards by myself

I would've never seen
What I could be if you
Didn't light the match
You were,
Are,
Will be,
my hidden passion
Inspired if you only did
what I was asking

We could somehow,
Still be
Now the tables turned
If only you could deal with me
You were my peer
Yet my professor
Froze any lessons Into lectures
Pressure is setting in

Hope you know I'll always be
Your biggest fan
Flat characters in a bad romance

I coulda wrote
with half my wit tied
behind my back
Doesn't make this any less real
The ritual thins the veil
Please tell me
you can feel ...
This
Whatever IT even is
Are you my mystic ?
Or my mediator ?
My handler ?
Or myself ?
Displayed on a face

I've hallucinated
Just to keep me company
Yet you reply
And react
as if you were made to

Maybe your the simulation
Or were tailor made to
make me whole
I dunno...