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Specs Jul 2018
A young girl plants a garden,
Teaching herself through books.
She’s pulling out **** by ****,
Passing by the games and brooks.

She yawns as she rises each morn
To tend her plants so dear.
Pansies, daisies, daffodils,
Her love for them is clear.

She picks a bunch this morning,
A sweet-smelling bouquet,
And enters naught but joy into
The Fair’s gardening display.

The girl is young and inexperienced,
She knows this but she smiles.
For even if she doesn’t win,
Her flowers are seen for miles.

The day does end, as all days must,
The girl waits with giddy thoughts.
Surprisingly she’s awarded
A ribbon of forget-me-nots.

In a completely awed excitement,
The girl rushes down the way.
In fact she’s so exuberant
She near forgets her own bouquet!

She runs down her street into her home,
Pride gleaming in her eyes.
“Ma, Pa, I’ve worked so hard,
Guess what! I’ve earned first prize!

“All those early mornings and work
Helped me win my ribbon of blue.
I came home as quick as I could,
I just had to tell you!”

Her mother puts down her magazine,
Her father looks up from the news.
They stand up, looking at the flowers,
And, with a few words, extinguish her fuse.

“You silly girl, you should know better.”
“Oh honey, what did you do?”
“We raised you smarter than this, my dear,
You can’t put flowers in stew.”
Unsupportive parents raise anxious children
She Writes Jun 2018
I am always going to disappoint someone
But from now on it won’t be me
I need to stop being a people pleaser and focus on myself for a change.
She Writes Jun 2018
When she spoke
I watched her eyes
Her lips expounded love
But her eyes revealed disappointment
I resented her more
With every kind remark
Softly spoken
Behind a deceiving smile
macayla Apr 2018
you smell like clean soap.
cold, soft hands
and skin that is wrinkled with worry.

your eyes shadow your cheeks.
i made you worry,
i'm so sorry
did i disappoint you today?

if you knew
what i know

would you care less?

i don't need a cup of water
no- i don't deserve one.
because my tiredness is made up of lies,
and my productivity is an endless maze of recycled warmth.

i am selfish.
i push myself underwater because i like the feeling of oxygen leaving my lungs.

GO AWAY
and
LEAVE ME ALONE
because
I HATE YOU

hello
your eyes seem to shadow your cheeks.
i made you worry,
but you smell like clean soap.
i'm so sorry.
did i disappoint you today?
All rights reserved to Macayla :-) please don't copy/steal, each poem I post is usually something I am proud of.
She Writes Apr 2018
I’d rather write than speak
My pen is always responsive
My ink doesn’t judge my mistakes
My paper doesn’t argue
My lines never cross me
My sentences never disappoint
And my words will never leave me
Leila Valencia Mar 2018
It felt so disappointing
To have

All I knew

Become something so distant.

So strong, so intensely -- like there was nothing that could stop me.
Nothing that could show me another way

And I felt so
Sadly, truthfully fallen
So broken

------ I could not speak ----

And every where I look the voice
inside me says
stay

But I felt so small. Something felt so wrong
So I asked
What do I do.

And nothing -- but you said to you --
Get through it all.
Just live
Just pass
Just go

And my head, my mind. This idea
Inside.
This reality
Where am --------------
I/////


The blank spaces. the intense thought, become
nothing
everything/
something

I am falling
Or am I diving
???

still I say -
I lost it all
in one night


I have never felt
so empty

yet so full
When I try to contemplate the changes, the things I want to do. I try to rationalize what is going on in my head. Yet, I must learn to not overthink every moment and go with the flow.
verse Feb 2018
“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

this quote,
it strikes me in the heart
a sharp blade of truth and fear
of knowing what i know.

loner is a strong word,
and yet i keep telling you that is what i am,
i don't fit in, never have, i don't want to,
oh, but how i do.

solitude is a long word,
highlighted again and again and again,
because rather than "face my demons"
i prefer to stay at home, alone,
not that you'd know.
it's odd how often i seek solitude,
how often i wish to stay in a place where there is no one, to judge me
or look at me
or rate me
or ask me how i'm doing
or shun me for my grades/pass/fail
i am not numbers on paper,
i am not an email of red and green dots
i am not a string of senseless symbols on a portfolio,
i am not a percentage or a candidate number
i am a person
i am me
and i expect to be treated as such, but i
am too afraid to tell you that
no, not afraid, anxious,
why?
you tell me.

disappoint,
a harsh word,
something i've seen in your eyes many times,
something i've always associated with,
it's hard to type this out,
because those ten letters
(ten is a lovely round number)
because those ten letters
will always haunt me,
a ghost of my past, present and i fear, my future,
i try,
i try,
i try,
i try,
but i can't
not when you make it difficult,
people speak of how they can tell their mothers anything and yet,
i find it hard to even say hello,
so yes, disappoint is the right word,
in more than one way,
i don't say this with conviction, because i don't think you deserve it,
(and yet somehow i do)
but i'm sorry.
tortilla Dec 2017
Having people who understand is new for me
There are people in my life who care about how I feel
It's odd, it makes the bad days not so bad when someone is aware
Life seems easy when with people who are there to help you heal

But I'm learning every blessing comes with a burden
And we all know that out of the two, I was never the blessing
This gift that I have cherished so much is just hidden poison
I see now this bond is bound to hurt one of us as I'm reassessing

I wish I didn't always see, but time and time again I realize
All I do in your lives is break and burden and continue disjoint
Because though I love you and I wish I could feel safe in that fact
Life was so much easier when I didn't have people to disappoint.
Life seems easy when with people who are there to help you heal
Life was so much easier when I didn't have people to disappoint
mjad Dec 2017
"You know what's funny?"
--this phrase indicates that no humor lies ahead,

"He said he would die for me. . .
and now he wishes I was dead."
disappointment disappointment disappointment disappointment disappointment disappointment disappointment
theres my life !
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