we have found each other
   across thousands of miles
   across different cultures and traditions
    
we have found each other
   among seven billion plus people
   on this globe

   finding each other
   was the easiest part

   strangers in the night

   staying together
   has been truly challenging
   at times

idiosyncracies
failures deficiencies fears
hopes wishes dreams
illusions and taboos
pieces of history from previous lives
   keep popping up at crucial moments
   in often Freudian transfigurations

   innocuous words
   may trigger convoluted memories
   freighten new contexts
      with old pain and sorrow

   a gesture
   a tone of speech
   a situation
   suddenly turn into déjà vu
   twisting their present freshness
      beyond belief
   into habitual frames of order

   the prisons of our pasts
   do not offer easy escapes

yet we have found each other
   among the billions on this globe

there is no other but the each
   to build a life together

Deceiving others is easy
But not a good deed
Deceiving own self is difficult
One who performs
Remains in difficulties all the life

i practice pulling my bones, at the joints,
little bones out of bigger bones
i practice breaking my knuckles
pulling muscles
pitching forward onto dead earth.

i practice getting myself out of scrapes
even if it leaves me a little less whole
as a person. a ****** laughing mess.
i practice hurtling towards the sun,

i throw myself at you. quickly,
you recoil. you sputter. you spit.
we are flames,
burning out.
we are flames.

Two roads,
did not diverge,
in my dying wood.

There is no clear path,
I am wandering,
and wondering,
where do I go from here?

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Oh Mama.. Please
Just admit that you are wrong for once and i'll tell you that i'm sorry

'Cause Mama... we
are going head to head
But not heart to heart
So can I introduce you to the real me properly?..

I'm a girl whose still in love with another's daughter
She said 'Don't give up' and 'i'll stay strong' is what i told her
See you think that shes the reason why I'm so bad
But i promise theres more to it than just that

Oh life, is not exciting until you see it through the camera lens,
And heartbreak's inspiring until yours is broken by your best friend
And families aren't perfect, but we try to be again and again
Oh but am i really so bad?
Or just struggling to leave behind a legacy from dad..

Oh Mama please,
Don't be ******* me
I know i cry a lot
But you did too when you were 16

And mama please
Let me cry and scream
Cause inspiration comes
From pain,
According to me

So i'll go out tonight and
I'll take the long way home,
'give you time to stop being angry
Cause all the shouting and the doubting won't help you understand me..

Oh life, its such a mystery
When it takes love to know what really is misery
And friends, my friends all know me
Even better than i know myself
And that means something
'Cause in this life we all need help

But can i pay for happiness with just my music..
Throw all the money and the greed and self loathing pities of the world,
Into a bonfire and lose it..

Oh mama sometimes i just like to lose myself.