I walked alone that night,
Uphill through the snow.
And when I arrived at the place
Not a single face did I recognize.
I got a beer and sat around,
Looking down so it wouldn't seem
Like I was staring.
The ice in my frozen nerves
Became blacker than the roads
Outside that I drove here on.
And this is why I wish I
Was truly dangerous. No one
Would ignore me, yet nobody
Would venture too close. I'd
Be an animal in a zoo.
But instead I'm a scared,
Lost puppy stuck in a
Land of lions and snakes.
But I poker-faced it so when you
Finally arrived, the little
Loud part of me crying for a
Place and body and mind
I could love instead of
Loathe withered away. Or
So I thought. I ought
To know better by now.
All it took was another
Chance not taken, and
I lost all the chips again.


-
by Aleksander Mielnikow

I can't stop myself from
taking this.
I know it's bad,
but I simply can't resist.
My hand
           s h  a k  e s
as I reach for more.
Should I be doing this?
I think as I count...
one, two, three, four.
It rushes over me,
like a wave in the sea.
It feels so good;
this deadly thing that I took.
Sure, plenty before me have died,
but to my parents I could lie.
It's not like they'd ever find out;
I think right before I blackout.
Would they ever come look for me
in this ally?
Or would I just die,
right here, right now,
lonely?
I faint before I can finish my thought.
I felt nothing; naught.
I lie in that ally
for what felt like years.
All until a someones appears.
I hear them talking,
it all sounds very faint.
They try to save me,
but it's just
too late.

did i tell you-
i can hear the sea calling your name?
it wails all night,
begging for you to come back.
you cannot.
you are mine now,
i have taken you back,
dragged you out of the watery depths,
your hands matching the temperature of the sea.
i can hear the sea
begging for you,
turning your skin
as green as it’s waves,
but i will not relinquish you.
i have taken you back from the depths,
and death will not stop me.