.

mostly  i've lead a harmless life                            
(as harmless as a human passively could)
  watered down       at most drowning
     at most passionate   ( but for a while only)
decent imitation of life
safe... but none of this is safe is it ?                    
i am part of the expanded programme    
and it's operating at fault (as intended ?)
and the damage is massive

Do colors seem pastel through eyes?
Yellow sunshine overhead
I wonder if hues would still appear bright
If your property instead..

It could've stopped escalating
Long long long ago
No quantity of ******* in the universe
Will stop from feeling hollow

I'm sure ways exist to justify
Type of behavior I hate
Perception of surroundings is so skewed
Probably think it looks great

Why would tidiness matter to you?
Not like the lot is in your name
I am the one forced to deal with consequences
You are the one to blame

It is obvious to any rational mind
Discipline is way past due
No longer willing to ignore the signs
The problem is linked to you

You distinctly do not give a **** about our feelings
Otherwise wouldn't have even begun
Now your hoarding is so out of hand
Don't recognize what land has become

I suppose that is what we get for our kindness
Foolishness leading us here
No good deed unpunished
If nothing else that much is clear

This destiny avoidable
Would have been easy to just say no
Generosity in our nature
Had no clue collection would grow

Don't comprehend how people live
In such a state of disarray
Chaos utterly consuming all around
Convinced carnage completely okay

I would have never guessed a human being
Could be so disastrous by design
Have been too lenient but now
It is about time we draw the line

We offered a chance to change outcome
Still carry on making a mess
Zero guilt or remorse displayed
This is what you call "trying your best"

The stress getting heavier
Longer we allow mayhem to go on
Most ******-up part is I suspect you believe
Truly aren't doing anything wrong

Maybe seek professional help
Only suggesting because I care
Anyone with some degree of mental stability
Of disorder would be aware

So you either are totally insane
Or taking advantage of our big hearts
Regardless something has to give
Before each vehicle there is in parts

The blatant disrespect overwhelming
Allow an inch and you take a mile
Only solution I can figure out
Has been coming awhile

Our patience wearing for months
Finally it has broken through
After the ******* we've tolerated
What do you expect us to do?

Just let you persist in accumulating junk?
As if deed to there is your own?
Until entire acre is swallowed up
And gone is beautiful location once-known

You have already inflicted a huge excess
Of destruction that can't be reversed
Acting entitled to anything there
Helping yourself without inquiring first

When you first parked bus we were misled
Under impression it was a temporary situation
Fact that your habitat keeps expanding
Expresses this is more than only a vacation

Are you even seeking somewhere else
To store belongings and dwell?
From where I'm standing it appears
You revel in making lives hell

Trash scattered in corners
Gets worse as you round each next turn
Are you that lazy and careless?
You can't put in one place and burn?

You disassemble things for no reason
If unbroken you tear it in pieces
Never reconstructing the objects you ruin
All the while cache increases

If not halted the amount will proceed growing
Until visible from space
I'd like to admit you are capable
Sadly that is not the case

Not to mention attention drawn
From law enforcement appearing there
Responding from neighbor's calls
Epitomizing our worst nightmare

The two properties connected by owner
Labels us negatively for sure
Positive cops are just awaiting the opportunity
To obtain warrant to search our house once more

Yet doesn't bother you at all
If so you'd minimize risk
Not use grow light to illuminate
And litter public street and ditch

And in the aftermath of these awful actions
Don't apologize for mistakes
Enough is enough
Party is over
Only so much we can take

It's your moment to float along to different shores
A destination new
Feeling physically ill every visit
Welcome is outworn-please shoo!

Half of me honestly fully fed up
Other side weakened by sympathy
I fear if I continue to endure treatment
You will simply walk all over me

And when finally you do move on
Left with an unholy mess
Which will cause a meltdown
Imploding from distress

So I kindly ask you hit the road
Commence process at once
Should have evicted weeks ago
That's not what any of us really want

I hope you don't interpret as declaration of war
You've become used to this "paradise"
Wouldn't have minded you staying here
If you kept it looking nice

But your indiscreet disregard for our disapproval
Has us craving distance badly
For our sanity's sake
You're too selfish sadly

This doesn't mean we don't like you
Loathe the position we're in
Wish we also could embrace the anarchy
Our essence is lacking the echoes within

If there was compromise to be discovered
Wouldn't plead for you to leave
Our standards are so drastically different
Insists harmony impossible to achieve

We often have people abuse our compassion
Silence disrupted only when too much to bear
After being disappointed over and over
Of shadows we should be aware

But within our core care more than we should
Inner voice whispering "they'll have nowhere to go"
If your intention was to carry on residing there
You would have improvement instead of negligence to show

We've idled for months while you should have cleaned up
Take one step forward than two right back
It's evident you won't come to your senses
Perhaps we've cut you a bit too much slack

Now forced to gather belongings
Pick garbage up off the ground
Don't want air to be cold between us
Still don't mind you coming around

I tried hard to be gentle
To my heart I must remain true
Only way to salvage my future home
Is stop you before damage is too bad to undo

Don't tell me that's it,
That vague speck over yonder
A classic rabbit food metaphor,
Dangling in my line of sight forever
A couple clicks past my ability to care
And six feet beneath every single nightmare
I sense it senses I'm past the point of repair
And headed nowhere
It mocks my thousand-yard stare
The hidden damage from trying to fight fair
Habitually a day late and a dollar short of the right fare
But you know what they say about fair

©2024

I'm reminded I'm standing in the middle of my bull $hit
By a credible doomsday profit
Felt like a kidney punch followed by a di¢k kick
A devastating hit
Not a knockout blow but still significant
Physical and mental damage present
Pray it's not permanent
Contemplating what it'd mean if I quit
Then the bell saved me ultimately,
Sending me to my corner to sit
Maybe I just need to cool down a bit...

®2024

so..like what we discussed the other day
                                       'to feel so infect-able'
i mean, cool concept and all but                                            
               you said you get it   and-and that's how i feel
                                                          you know ; all of the time
... like my brain is open and unprotected                    
         floods of **** other guys say  or **** i read online
stuff doesn't even make sense
they're just chewing on a mouthful of teeth
                                                        and­ it imbeds
gets right in the jelly and sticks around  
and it has nothing to do with anything       
                 but  i'll spend the day with my mood crumpled                
about some nasty '*******' directors              
behaviour on a film set ... when ...you know
it's not even a film i'm interested in seeing
and-and there's so much **** right at our front door
     we could help with that                                         
 but.. it's this irrelevant stuff
                                                that's what i'm occupied with
am i just that vulnerable ?   i'm an adult..                                  
           i should function without this damage
... get back to me as soon as you can ;   i'm freaking man !…..
you know what ?                                                                ­        
        this is what's important        and this is why we talk                
friends .. in the real world .. you know  such as it is
...left mucking stale turns before dawning a birth
pleasing   as drawing in a vital breath or something...
...i just.. i just want it back
re-slee­ve me
i miss the world
why did it leave me behind ? remind me
i looked in on it and there's no **** hotel in here
no airport lounge / midnite swimming pool /          
                                 abandoned zoo / empty theatre
no hollow feeds of subway tunnels                          
no void on anything
where's my basic program ?                          
       not even a grid of human planted fir trees
                               or a giants causeway
   or some cellular honeycomb
                      or some mad carpet design
i lost the pattern tap
           i'm off the leash man
           it's all a mess
             a disarray
              organic chaos
                a foreign something
      that doesn't want me to connect
i want to live like i’m part of the solution
but   each day in struggle                                          
           it seems i'm increasingly an aspect of the problem
i need to be reigned in
        and reassigned a post   policed
police me        i croon for policing
                          i am untrustworthy
an emulsion of self deception          
            (what does that even mean ?)
         spinning turns in quick fix habits
i look at these hands
  and     if I could dream these hands
                 they’d be magicians of value
get back to me man ! i miss yupping with you
this is the important stuff
           
                                               ­             - message ends

I want too mean it when I say I'm working to improve
But I know I'm on borrowed time due too a marriot of conflicting issues
Turning greener pastures different shades of blues
Most of the root doesn't even originate from my property,
Still the hardest to remove
Doesn't help I'm held accountable for the damage my damage,
Caused by others mind you,
Always accrues
I think I've overpaid my dues

©2024