Don't feel so special

I've been abused,
Forcefully used,
Yet you think you can blow my fuse?
Don't feel so special.

I've hacked & sliced at my own skin,
Barely living,
So thin,
But you worry if you hurt my grin,
Don't feel so special.

You could have called me every bad name under the sun,
shot me with a gun.
But I've hurt me, more than you've ever could.
So don't feel so special.

I don't need closure,
Unless its from stitches,
Mending the pieces I've broke from myself.
But the damage you've done,
Is nothing I haven't done to myself.

So don't feel sorry.
Hold your tears of guilt upon a shelf.
They mean nothing to me,
But only for yourself.

So don't feel so special.
You are nothing but another person who dared to hurt me,
But only hurt themself.

The first step is
Radical honesty
With ourselves

We don't intervene
We invade

That's not
"Collateral damage"
Those are
The corpses
Of children
And their parents

Ours is not defense
Ours is war

it's me isn't it?!
i speak -
     things
                 fall
                         apart
i don't mean it -
      i'm
              covered
                               in
                                      scars
i hold my tongue -
     i'm
             losing
                         who
                                   you
                                             are -
                                           you're
                                           losing
                                             me
i say i'm sorry -
     it's
           not
                   my
                           fault -
                 but
                   i
               know
         it
   is
i walk away -
    leave
                the
                          things
                               ­          i
                                              tore
            ­                                             apart
                                                            to
 ­                                              c
                                        r
                     ­                        a
                                  c
                           ­          k
                               l
                      e
and
          b
                    u
 ­                                 r
                              ­                 n

can i apologise again?
     no.

       the
          damage
                       is
                         done

you've
found
the
p
r
o
b
l
e
m.

I’m so far from heaven
But also far from hell
I’m stuck in a world that doesn’t want me
And I don’t want to be here
Even less

Gloomy days lay ahead
For those that accept their fate
Living in autopilot
Believing the lies of the liars
Always afraid of the change

I try to assimilate to everyone around me
No one is ever the same
It’s hard work to be liked
When your identity doesn’t exist
I want you to notice me
But do you even know who you are?

I can spend a whole lifetime
Searching for myself
Alone in this lonely world
My mind compartmentalizes my trauma
Even then, I feel to damaged to go on

I need your love so desperately
Because without you I can’t go on
Please love me
Because your love is all I need
To fight these demons inside
I look at the mirror
To see if today is the day
You’ll finally love me
Better luck tomorrow
Today has been marred by self doubt

He took a massive leap
And couldn't believe
That he died to fall damage.

You've taken a step into dangerous territory
Unbeknownst to your wide, naïve eyes
You're heading into a deep abyss
Where only the lucky have survived
Before you proceed any further
I will give you this warning now
I'm utterly and dangerously fragile
And my patience is running out
My warning signs are on full display
For those who dare on this journey
Caution is written everywhere
So that I know you won't take this lightly
I see the longing looks you're giving
And I can tell you see me as a challenge
Your cockiness will lead to your missteps
A guarantee I experience irrevocable damage
You think you will treat me different
But I know you'll ignore the signs I carry
There's no easy way to let my guard down
When your intentions with me make me wary
You continue to walk into dangerous territory
Unbeknownst to your wide, naïve eyes
Foolishly, you jumped into the deep abyss
But you were not lucky enough to survive

dear Donald
fare thee well
and may you roast
in hell
for all the damage
you have caused