It was the kind of morning
Where I would pull you closer
With my eyes half opened half closed
Hold you so tight
As tight as the way I shut my eyes
The night before
While imagining having
You, by my side.

It was the kind of afternoon
Where I would watch you
Take a sip of your tea elegantly
Tasting the piece of cake slowly
Where I would watch the blue sky
With you
Drawing our future together
Just like how I still draw our story
So I could have
You, by my side.

It is the kind of night
Where the silence between us
Would be perfect
The hugs would be tighter than ever
The kisses very much sweeter
I would look into your eyes
To feel your presence
Just like how I stare at the wall
So that I could have
You, by my side.

But You, are not
By my side.

Say hello to my version of goodbye
Maybe it will make you fly
Maybe it will be unbearable
Maybe it will be pulling-out-hairable
Just drink coffee with me
Add some cinnamon if that's what you want to see
Wear old sweaters
And write sappy love letters
Standing in the rain kisses
And playful disses
Cuddling on the moon
And maybe we could spoon
Just say hello to my version of goodbye

This addiction 
has the worst withdrawals.
They leave you feeling
completely empty and 
alone
until you get
the next hit.

Shaking in anticipation,
preparing for the next fix.
Face forward, inhale.
Hear your heart race through my head.
Pounding anxiously,
waiting.

Finally,
the collision creates a moment of pure ecstasy
in my addict body.
Pressed in close
to confuse your heartbeat
and the motion of your lungs.

The worst withdrawls,
but the best high.

We have oddly sticky hands
oil, dust and sugar
newspaper ink and ceramic chips
feet track on moldy rug
broken glass and rusty circles raise the question
peeking into past lives of
each room
salvage ex-roomate's ex-girlfriend's
shampoo body wash flatiron dishes

we make a shrine to spools of thread
little lion man and plastic pans
real tuesday weld and smoke with KC
won't you hold my hand?

Let's overthink dating for a night
I will try to be by your side
my rougey lips are for you
and the moon

Your eyes sparkle when I look at you
When you are inside me
It feels intense with love and passion.
I love you.
Your body quivers when you kiss me
I feel your heart beat when I sleep
My head on your chest
Your around me tight
I love the moment of peace
His smile and kisses show me
The words he can't say
A simple "I love you"
Makes my heart melt
This moment
Those blue eyes.

I'm not attracted to people. Never have, never will. See I might get aroused; it's like my body is rejecting my decision it doesn't care it acts on it's own, but I'm fine with platonic relations. We don't gotta touch just cuddle and kiss and I'd be more than fine, but I'm a pleaser so ill subject myself to such acts, In accordance to their needs.
*** doesn't come to mind when out on dates unless it's been made clear that ****** activity will be in place. When *** comes to mind all I can think is "*** ugh no" The only ******* in my life comes from my partners needs. I'm their bf I'm supposed to cater to them. I don't mind it but I also don't like it.

• The place where we first met and you asked me if I was sad or it just was that way my face looked.

• The streets where you walked on the road and I on the curb so that you wouldn't have to hang to one side because I'm lower than you.

• My red hoodie where you'd put your hands up my sleeve and hold my hand when your hands got cold.

• The field where we stood hugging for so long and you first told me that you liked me and wanted to kiss me.

• The bench out by the lake where we used to sit tight and watch the stars.

• Near the school bus where people saw us holding hands and I finally felt like we were together.

• By the bonfire on a field near the school where we sat and measured who had the biggest tummy.

• The room where you laid me down in the bed and we started cuddling but someone knocked on the door so we had to stop.

• Japan where we spoke like nothing was wrong even though nothing was right and that was the last time we spoke.

Today I woke up and all I wanted with my entire being was for someone to be there next to me to tickle my back.

That's all just someone to tickle my back.

Most days I'm totally okay with being alone but it's moments like this when I crave the company of another.

To be able to call them in the morning and ask them to come over for the day.
                                                                    
And lay in bed all day watching Disney movies wrapped up in each other, exchanging light kisses and inside jokes.

Because there is nothing better than having your back tickled and nothing worse than there being no one to do it.