I don't know
But I will tell her what I heard

Along the stairway to Heaven
The angels play their harps of gold
They sing hymns of ceaseless praise
To the prince of peace and king of kings.
He came down from Heaven to take his place as man
To pay the cost we could not pay was always the plan.
I walk along the stairway to Heaven
It is a long and challenging climb
But I keep my eyes fixed ahead and I make some progress.
I do not walk alone for there are many here with me
The way we make it up is to help each other.
Mary made a path for us and Jesus paved the way
Joseph walks beside us lending us his strength
Jacob dreams a ladder stretching from Heaven to earth.
The cross became the bridge with which to cross
The Grand Canyon that is between us and God.
Sometimes I feel like I'm close to you
Other times I'm miles away and in the dark.
Be with me Lord and help me on the way
Lord give me strength for the journey.
At times the climb is more like a battle
Fighting just to keep my feet from falling
But when I lose hope I think I feel you calling.
The stairway to Heaven will last a lifetime
There are many gone before us to help show us
To guide and encourage and challenge.
Following their light to the source of all light.
The stairway to Heaven is not always an easy climb
But it has been well worth the struggle every single time.

You look at me with eyes of love
There is no condemnation or reproach
You see me from your throne above
At your feet I humbly approach

You hear my cries of longing
Cries of passion and of sorrow
You hear me when I sing
And you wake me in the 'morrow

You feel my pain and heartache
As if they were your own
And when I feel it's more than I can take
This too, you have known

You reach out to me from the wooden cross
And as you finally breathe your last
I feel a sense of overwhelming loss
And, equally, mercy and grace so vast

My heart beats because of you
My heart beats for love of you
As long as my heart beats I'll live for you
Help me Lord to give it back to you

Amen

Look into my eyes Lord
Look deep into my soul.
See the work your hands have made
I see the cost that love has paid.
I gaze longingly into your eyes
And as you look right back at me
I am pierced as if by the nails.
As you hang ****** and broken,
In total surrender, you took the all;
You gave up everything so I could have it all.
Into your presence I come,
In this moment I will stay.
Let your fire fall like rain;
Hear me when I pray.
I turn back to you like the prodigal son
I ask for forgiveness, but it's already done.
I am wrapped in your cloak of grace
My soul is lifted on a cloud of praise.
In the rivers of your blood
Comes the waters of love:
Washing the earth and healing
A broken world, in need of feeling
Your peace and love and passion
And being good is back in fashion.
You satisfy the hungry heart
My soul longs for you and pains.
Like a man in the desert longs for rains
You are living water Lord; source of life and peace.
Help me surrender so that you may increase.
I come to do your will and I'm grateful for the gift
To be with you and seek the truth and then, in word, to lift
Your holy name to share the love I've found.
Take my feet and place them on solid, sacred ground
Walk with me as I try to walk this road
Help me bear, with patience, my load.
When I lose sight of the perspective,
Remind me gently the suffering you once bore.
Each day Lord, help me want you more.
I was lost and wandering, and you sought me out
I trust you Lord from within and from without.
You keep your promises, your covenant;
Help me fulfill my end of the deal.
I don't know what all you have in mind
But I am certain of one thing: it will be divine!

I will give you a list houses
that once used to be my home
and addresses that are the only memory
that has not been blurred
or manipulated by my mind.
If you ever want to find me,
go there.


You will see the line of trees that
framed my sunrise
and almost dry riversbeds of
round white stones, where
I slipped once (or more).
You will see the duststorms,
and the heavy rains
I stood in.
You will see the the intersections,
I could never quite cross.
But all this you see,
is not me.



If you want to find the ‘me’,
‘me’ that I do not know of,
that I cannot give you,
go there.
And look for windows I sat by.
Look for the cold floor I lied on.
Sit there and think of a girl
who never felt quite like a person,
who could look at what lay ahead
and know
that neither the path, nor the journey was hers.
Who only wanted a room flooded with
gentle light of drowning sun,
and songs that could make her sadness beautiful.

It's so hard to be
                                             happy when
                                              everything is                  
                                             going wrong.
            Its so hard to be forgiving when others can't forgive you.      
            "Smile!" They say. How can I smile when everything
              is broken in two? Im so afraid of what will possibly
                                              happen to me,
                                               And all I can
                                              do is be empty
                                                 and sad...
                                                 For I know
                                                 that someday
                                                 I will be finally
                                                 With true love
                                                  In a place called
                                                  Heaven up above... ✞

I'll be the one who sings You praise,
for You are the one who changes my ways,
You light the blaze, deep in my heart,
You have been here, right from the start,

I'll always be ready, to thank you again,
for the greatest sacrifice, that day on the cross,
You guide me each day, through all pain and loss,

Driven by your love, I'll never let go,
I came a long way, and learned so much,
One thing first, I came to know,
That everyone is healed by Your touch.

an acid, a poison, corroding my thoughts
crossroads that run four different corridors
at the end of each, a padlocked door
not much to see but here, have a tour

one leads to Guilt, it opens a lot
and from deep inside lies a scent of rot
imagine sunken eyes, decay-riddled flesh
crusted tears caught in the folds of saddened death

the second leads to Rage, hear the beast in the cage
a vicious monster kept, a lion untamed
the red claw marks along the walls and the blood that dried
I've lost myself so many times you could say that I died

to your six opens Doubt, a hollow void indeed
you can feel the pulsing dark, lustful or greed
its desire is destroy, to run down into the ground
and claim my soul its only goal, gone without a sound

the fourth is most vicious, a chasm called Depression
all your thoughts and feelings, kept under suppression
for to voice all the voices telling you that you should die
is the means to take away the chance that you may try...

and in the centre stands me, isolated by this pain
the likes of which to share would be of zero gain
a problem told is a problem halved but this one can't be cut
I know things that can, but the unsolved is worth much

and I keep what's mine....

I’m dearly clinging to The Cross
of Christ, as though this Life
depends on it; with these empty
hands there’s no gain, but loss

since Salvation can’t be earned.
The vanity of accomplishments
and earthly achievements mean
nothing, seeing that it’s burned

up within the crucible of works.
My Hope remains in Christ alone
and the commitment of His Word;
I’m not motivated by a knee ****

reaction to lies from His enemy.
Therefore, I’ll remain vigilant,
confident and sober, knowing that
on Christ, I will always rely!