I feel like i'm toxic to the touch
when I felt and tried to return the love you gave me,

turning not to thank me,
as I reach out to grab you,

you walked away,
as I watched and cried,

I retrace each step you take,
my tears falling so fast they fill your footprints place,

drawing what ever may live in your souls,
as you stepped and went away,

eventually the night falls,
and I am left in the darkness, alone,

without you,
without anyone to care,

I sit unwanted,
hoping you will care.

Do you listen?
Do you hear?
Do you watch closely your peers?

I can see them,
I can hear.
I can listen for their fears.

Do you focus?
Do you try?
Do you struggle in your life?

I know struggles,
I know strength.
I know the worries of a day.

Do you wonder?
Do you cry?
Is it hard to empathize?

I can't help them,
I can't cry.
I am haunted by their eyes.

Do you worry?
Do you sigh?
Do you struggle with the lies?

I do worry,
I do sigh.
I do struggle with the lies.

Do you hear the drum beat beat?
Do you hear the girls quiet screams?

I can hear them,
I can see.
I can fear them for they torture me.

Do you question?
Do you hear?
Do you push for truth among your peers?

Please I urge you,
hear the cries.
Please I urge you,
watch the eyes.

I need some help
help beyond this keyboard
help beyond these words
im searching for help
that no one can understand
im screaming silently
im crying but only dust
im not sure where ill go
not sure where ill run
not sure where ive even been anymore
all i know is where i want to go
i need some help
judgement free
criticism aside
it wont help
only make it worse
none of this tough love *******
i need an understanding compassionate hand
to help me out of this dark hole
its lonely
saddening
depressing
difficult
and
the last place i want to be anymore
please
someone just help.

You feel ready to do anything to fix yourself up
Dieting you tried and ******* in makes it worse

After spending hours on your hair and make up
Angling yourself best self consciously in party photos

Then crying at home when going through them
For a decent Instagram picture; nothing's good enough

It doesn't make sense because you tried right?
Yet your cheeks are balloons inflated on your face

A smile constrained, painfully stretched across your face
You've forgotten how to smile properly so became fake

You look at your beautiful friends and selfishly wish for their assets
Then sigh wistfully posting a few reasonable pictures and smile

At the heart lifting comments on your beauty that fails to be seen*
**Yet it touches you that others can somehow manage to see it in you.

He said-“Drink!”
So I drank the thick syrup he gave
At first it was sweet but slowly it turned bitter
But I did not mind
Because my love for him was insanely blind

Every day he brought that drink with him
Garnished with his charming smile
His smile by dusk turned into a miscreant one
Filling the night with my shrill cries

By dawn he’d say I’m his kryptonite;
Overly exaggerated affection, disguised neatly
Laced lies and promises as hollow as god’******>Would play in his favor every time

Slowly, subtly he poisoned my spirit
At first with the thick sweet richness
Of his seductive voice which
Turned into a sadistic hungry howl by twilight

I surrendered myself to his evil ways
As the disparaging grew stronger each day
I found myself in a cage whose key
I myself had smashed far away

Like a slave I served my master
And like a leech he bled me dry
Now nothing is left of me
I’m just another shadow that
Wanders under the open sky

have his tired eyes,
weary sighs
and silent cries
still not made you realize
that he's tired of your lies?
he knows you'll never love him, no matter how hard he tries.
darling, you are leading him to his demise.
and yet, it is you, only you, whom he will never despise.

*how much will he take
before he breaks?

bag with filthy clothes that smell of deranged violet and fistful of thoughts

breaking down in a million different ways trying to prevent a collision of teardrops.

hanging in there was never so hard
glass was always more fragile to break

my soul was never the one that stops yet
it's higher in someone else's regard,
so I am repeating the same mistake.

the rag stinks of defeat and my mouth carries a taste of someone else's words I can't repeat...