There are people I tried so hard to make them stay
All they saw were my flaws and fears then walked away
This crippled me for so long
Thought I would never find a place to belong.
Whenever I looked in the mirror, saw someone defeated
Was dissatisfied and resentful, feeling I've been cheated
Perhaps my maker would have shaped me differently,
Then I would be receiving phone calls more frequently

Little did I know that he really cares
And he's willing to have all my burdens shared
I always thought he was so distant
Never knew he could be in me in every instant.
But I had to come to the end of me
Before I realised my desperate need of him
I let him in and knew loneliness no more
Enjoying precious moments without a single bore.

blood starts in the nose.

my body is on other things.

dream
is to boy
what taste
is to tongue.

her go-to
word
for hangman
is god.

eat little, not less.

I question whether to hold you within or to let you go.
I stare at the life holding on to the nothingness,
Thinking I haven't done anything but held on to the emptiness,
Oh life, how do I let you pass me by everyday?
Oh life, how have I let you become so stagnant?
Trying to find the corners of the emptiness
I forgot how to look at you.  

I know my priorities but not how I want to work for them,
I know what my goal should be but desert is all I see,
Mirages of the could've been and what ifs.
Emptiness, Why did I let you in? Why can't I let you out?
Emptiness, you are strong, though you make me weak.
You make me question my existence,
You make me believe my demons.

I wish I knew how to quit you,
But you are my companion,
The one that never leaves.

I never mastered the grind.
That won every girls affection.
I guess it's really quite difficult.
When you become your own deflection.

Once I was that nineteen year old.
Drunk and disorderly.
Grinding on your back.
You got bored of me.

Sure its fun - for both it seems.
Sometimes it's a horrid match.
A silly game with an undefined winner.
Sometimes it's all you need to land your catch.

But as you grow you see things clearly.
The smoke machined air thins and the lights begin to brighten.
You see the complexity of your dilemma.
You've assumed you'd get it all - what a great big error.

You want the beauty you've desired night long.
But you've gone about it all wrong.
You want the companion most never find.
But will she see it or remain blind.

It seems one is possible.

Where do I go to be one whole person?

The tears falling down my face
I gently stroke my dog's ear
And whisper,
It's gonna be okay

But I know I'm lying
To both of us
You are not okay
I am not okay

But you are my trusting puppy
And you snore quietly next to me
As I fall apart
Trusting me to make sure
That everything will be okay

Bleed in to me
If I cut myself open and peal back the layers
Will you come inside
Can I fold you into me

You're looking at a man who has been blessed.
I have a dog and she's Daddy's little Princess.
My Chihuahua, Agnes is very special to me and I love her a lot.
She means more to me than anything else that I've got.
Agnes also loves me and she loves it when I stroke her dark brown fur.
I became a lucky man on the day when I adopted her.
Having Agnes for a pet is better than being wealthy, that's what I believe.
That's how I feel even though it's something that others may not perceive.

I am empty
Like a wasteland I am empty
Desolation should've yielded comfort by now
Left without time to call my own
I am not even my own person
How can I be another's?
It seems a simple desire, to belong
Yet I've never fit

My life is one of internal isolation
Can that separation and life itself exist, harmoniously?
As always, I hold doubts and withhold hope

Nihilism, pessimism...it all blends the same stench
I am with the crowd in my saturation, if nothing else
Perhaps more are empty than I thought

I estimate myself as beyond all others
Inner capacity poised for pain and self-conflict
What is my mental pain, so toxic, in the wake of Hell's disasters?

Please, I need a true companion
Romance would be the unexpected bonus, if possible
Hear me, comfort me, be there for me
I admit to my utter weakness and frailty
Now I bare myself in an attempt to finally strengthen
Now I need a mentor, a true mentor

Are you out there?