It took until now
thin and mid 20s
to comprehend
that as a child I was
and as an adult
still very much am
spoiled

little childhood
traumas to mine
               no festering drama
               no shrouded mess

calm can bury like a
gravity blanket
               too hot or too cold
               I complain

I have never clawed
at my belly in hunger
felt my body
fall off in jeweled
pieces but I have
at times been
hungry

adulthood is a lake
blue black and endless
               rife with mudtraps
                    brimming with viperheads
                         scraping at the surface water

I am spoiled
I have not known pain
but I knew a person
whose eyes prodded
               like nails through jello
my insides and cut
tendrils of muscle
and delighted in the
stitching back
               the pushing of
                    needle through
                         meaty bits

some time after
I was grown
but flailing madly
as a comet poised
for landfall

a beetle in
a dust storm
a child with its
first scraped knee

my flesh yearns
for the needle
and for skin all
smooth and
scarred and
like the color of night
               singing
like the color of night
like sky like light
a rapturous blue

Oh dear,

Stop and breathe.

How did you forget





To breathe?

Breath
                                          In
                                                                               Out

Think of rain not pain
Think of pages not rages
Think of the calm not the bomb

Find something to ground you,
Then...                                              Breath
                                 In              
                                                                              Out
                                    In
                                                                    Out

There's a light in your back pocket
that you've overlooked for quite some time.

Grab it and light the pathway to
your peace amidst all the noise.

*p.s.

He is the peace in your back pocket.

Her love was like rain,
Falling a million drops at a time
Scattering through the sky.
Her love soothing, calm, wet.
This love not predicted by
forecasts given by weathermen.
Coming when ready.
She often fell without limit.
A huge gulp swallowed without spill.
Her deed readily prepared without haste.
Her love like rain.
Falling drop after drop.
Sincere without shame.
& I the none swimmer,
carried by her flood
& without fear,
I insist that she carry me
where ever she may go

Nothing hurts me more deeply,
then your
physical silence
and
indifferent
absence
so dead calm
not knowing
if you're living
or colder
in your grave

Speak to me
darling
I love you so.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
All rights reserved

So young.
So pure.
To reach her heart,
You need a lure.

Soft skin.
Luscious eyelashes.
When she hurts,
I heal her gashes.

Daddy issues.
Damaged soul.
I try my best,
To make her whole.

Gentle laughter.
Gentle smile.
Do me a favor,
And stay a while