I wish what happened had made me bleed.
I'd like to bite down on something thick like raw meat and if it's my own tongue then so be it. Even if I could keep my big clumsy mouth shut i'd still ***** or cut my wrists up all over the carpet for attention. Look at me! Or past me. I'm not good at being ignored. Or I'm the best at it.... I'm a phantom in the sense that I'll make you uncomfortable but no ones sure if I'm even there or what the hell I'm still bothering them for. So if you're not going to see me for me, I'll pull a white sheet over my body and creep through your house in the dark. And if you're going to look my way with a guilty face then you might as well just keep your eyes shut. And I hope someday you can remember who I am. And well...., ******* for not seeing a good thing when you had it. Now haunting you is just another one of my bad habits.

I sold you my dreams tonight,
That was me hiding in another life,
Somewhere between worthless and priceless,
Eyelids twitch as the torment unravels,
Sleep well and deep,
Fall and fly; run and hide,

Last night you bought my past,
Stories seem so small and distant,
The characters all ghosts of a passing age,
Lost to a dazed fading mind,
Don’t pity me here,
Old stories; float away,

Tomorrow I will sell you my hopes,
Hold them gently; they crush easily,
That was me hoping for the light of day,
Fists clenched and blinded,
Embrace my future,
Open eyes; arms wide,

My heart is yours; it always has been,
Not sold but given away, (maybe thrown)
Wrap it up to keep it warm and safe,
My gift to you on credit,
Unconditional yet fragile,
Buy now; pay later.

he said
one day,
baby girl,
i'll buy you
the world
sprinkle you
with diamonds
and head to toe
in pearls
you'll dress in
the finest of silks
eat the freshest of foods
drink the purest of milk
sleep under
the most stunning mosaic
on a bed made of feathers
you will lay
never will
a worry cross your mind
the night will never be dark
i'll make sure your stars always shine
never be cold
blankets made of the fluffiest wool
with intricate patterns
made with the thread of gold
your hands will never
feel restricted to give
you can help others survive
support them to live
the orphans, the widows
the refugees, the victims
will always know
who to turn to to help them

you will be my queen
bare with me a few years
i'll make my way to the top
and then rid you of all financial fears
until then you have
my full heart, body & soul
just a while longer
& i'll buy you the world

she looks at him
and shakes her head
takes his hand
makes him sit on the bed
looks him in the eye
and starts to smile
*my love,
my darling,
my reason to live,
hear me clearly
when i say this
i need no riches
i need no gold
for all these are material
you are my world
let paper money
and bank accounts
fly away
and burn to the ground
we'll build our home
with our bare hands
work day and night
sow and reap our own lands
with what we earn
we'll share with the world
we'll laugh and be merry
live together then marry
have children and watch them grow
and make beautiful our own little world

i appreciate the thought
but happiness can't be bought
the two of us together
is enough for me, forever ♡

You are standing in the alley
Smoking a cigarette
You hear my voice but you can´t hear me
I smell the alcohol on your breath
Your arm is reaching for my waist
Your kiss has that bitter aftertaste
Your blurry vision slowly has me erased
I leave you feeling like life is going to waste

I don´t think you changed, I just think I closed my eyes
Holding on to hope as I watched the smoke rise
Just love isn't enough for me anymore
I can't be your freedom and your cure

You are standing in the alley
Smoking a cigarette
You can drown your sorrows, but I can't drown my feelings
You pour alcohol down your throat until it stings
You hear my voice but you can´t hear me say goodbye
You drank all the alcohol money could buy
Your blurry vision slowly has me erased
As I'm walking away from what you chose to embrace

I don´t think you changed, I just think I closed my eyes
and I know it was real cause you regretted all your lies
Just love isn't enough for me anymore
Your cigarette burns out and drops to the floor

A person like you is worth more than money
A person like you is worth more than time
But I'll give you all my time
Even if it doesn't make you mine
I'll spend all my money
even if it doesn't buy your love
Because for person like you there isn't a price I wouldn't pay

What do you do at the end of the day, when it's all said and done.
Do you walk around with your hands in your pockets?
Because that always makes me feel like such an idiot.
To think of all the things you could do with these hands
and yet you'd rather envelope them in a small hot confined area,
and waste whatever they could be doing.
To put something so useful where it can't be at any help to you.
At the end of the day,
when your lovers got parents to hang out with and not tell them about you, where do you go?
Do you go shopping with your best friend?
Because that seems like a waste
of what you just spent a whole week striving towards.
To throw hard earned money
that could be saved and set aside for greater purposes down the line,
on Lacey underwear and perfume. Underwear you buy to wear for your lover
who is busy elsewhere not thinking about you.
When you've worked and you've maintained adulthood and handled all your business,
do you go out drinking?
Do you take a shot a beer and a cigarette?
I just think to spend time only to not remember any of what you cashed it in for
might be a useless way to fill time.
In fact it's a perfect example of killing time.
And there's no need to be murderous just because you can't find better things to do.
When you go home,
what else is there?