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boringwonderland Dec 2017
even at only fourteen years old,
I would finish bottles to myself
the amount wouldn't fit on a shelf
I got too drunk, to be bold
I thought my friend might help
but the last thing I remember
is being led into a chamber
by the opposite gender
I tried to rip my hand away
it didn't phase him
he pushes me on the bed
and then everything goes black
I wake up with puke in my hair
I was alone and bare
I was hurting
it was burning
my stomach turning
he gives me a warning
last night was fun
I had bruises
I want to run
out of my body
I shower until my whole body is ******
but five years later and I do not feel clean
everyone there had seen
what he did to me
not one single word was spoken about it
they let it be
I keep trying,
Trying so hard only to fail.

I failed academics
I failed love
I failed life.

I keep trying,
Trying so hard only to break.

Breaking promises
Breaking hearts
Breaking us.

I keep trying,
Trying so hard to hold on.

Hold on to reality
Hold on to love
Hold on to life.

I keep Failing, Breaking, Falling
Holding onto broken pieces,
Cutting myself again and again.
Tati Streidl Nov 2017
the color red is said to be romantic,
but it is not romantic when it is coming from the body of your love.
blood is not a sign of forever,
bandages are not meant to be
stickers trying to hold a relationship together,
bandaids cannot heal bullet wounds,
and love cannot heal a broken jaw,
a jaw that was broken in the name of love,
love cannot heal bruises down my side,
a healthy relationship is not meant to be black and blue.
your hands caress my face,
but sometimes I can’t tell if it’s an open palm
or a balled fist against but cheek.
“I love you” can melt into “I love you, but another girl more”,
I am unable to tell whether our love is sinking
through poorly timed texts on your phone,
or swimming through the blood I shed
when you tell me not to leave you,
you say the shouting is because you love me,
the cursing,
the drinking,
the way you can throw punches better than you can throw a baseball,
but love is not meant to be black and blue.
and my crimson blood is not a blood sacrifice to your demons,
this love is parasitic.
you take my flesh, take my courage, my pride,
but I will not let you take my life, so try to threaten me not to go,
but I have to leave you.
because I love you.
love is not meant to be red, black, or blue,
love is meant to be white.
clean as the rubbing alcohol that disinfected my fist-inflicted wounds.
love doesn’t validate violence.
love is pure.
Alyalyna Nov 2017
You show me your love
In such a delicate way
Then you ruin it all
Then you build it up again.

Heart-shaped bruises
Cover my body,
You say without you
I'm nonsense, nobody.

I'd never been so much in love
I know now it'll last long
They say you're pretty tough
I say our love - it's strong

You show me your love
When I ask you to
You are unpredictable
My eden apple

Poisoning and punishing
But you're never vanishing
You're the last who stays
When all of them turn away
On my darkest days

you are the last out here
you punish but you never dissapear
i need you so much near
my baby, my dear...
Debbie Stevens Oct 2017
After being abused, some people will turn to the *****.
Whether if its mental abuse, or physical abuse.
Ends up being overused,
everyone around you strongly disapproves.
But, what can you do when you can't find any way to get rid of the pain and memories that left you bruised?
It gives you so much fear but all you do is like to ignore,
leaving your thoughts and feelings destroying you to your core.
The atmosphere seems so unfair, hallucinations of being in thick air, eventually having you feeling suffocated and wanting to disappear.
M Joy Oct 2017
Polaroids do no justice

To the life I made for you

You signed your name in black

And let the film fade to blue

Like being front row to a tragedy

I can't look away but it hurts to see

These times are a memory I'd like to forget

But I can't wash away the bruises it left

I'll keep your smile by my side

And your voice in my mind

As my life flashes before my eyes

And we turn into a silver sky
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
Did you leave?
So far, yet so close
If I reach out, will my fingers touch empty air?

You've gone
Yet when I feel like this
I always think you are right by my side

Why must you haunt me like this?
I just want to move on
Yet images of you fill my mind

Sadness through your tears and cuts
I've seen them all and I want to reach out to you
Embrace you and never let go

When I close my eyes and curl up
I imagine you next to me
Holding me close while I cry

When you close your eyes and curl up
You imagine me right by your side
Holding you close while you cry

All your tears and cuts
All my tears and cuts
What are they for?

For what others say
What others do
All the bruises they've given you
I want to erase
I want to run my fingers over your skin and see you smile
I want to be there for you

When I reach out
What will my fingers touch?
Empty Air
You

Neither
All I feel is the cold and dead feeling
of a screen against my fingertips
As I cry out for you and I know you do the same

You're haunting me and I curl up
Imagining you to be there with me
While we cry

So close, yet so far
Only a border between us
The phone screen staying black
As you cry
As I cry

No bruises or cuts
No tears or screams
All I ever wanted was for you to smile
All I ever wanted was to see you smile
Star BG Sep 2017
Bruises come and hurt so deep,
stopping one to stand on feet.
But in time one can recall,
that we’re sacred to stand tall.

And the feet will bond with heart,
to take strides to make new start.
Cause the sun does rise each day,
for us all to bow and pray.

Pray to find an inner cord,
inside love it’s the reward.
So be doctor to oneself.
Heal with breath take an engulf.
inspired by h m w
White Owl Aug 2017
I remember locking myself in my room
COMMA
blasting the radio
COMMA
covering my head with a pillow
PERIOD
Even while I was doing that
COMMA
I could still hear my mother screaming at my father to stop
PERIOD
I heard glass breaking
COMMA
pans hitting the floor
COMMA
dishes crossing the floor
PERIOD


After the fights
comma
I would always come check on my mom
comma
sometimes she was covered in blood and bruises
period

As I looked across the floor as she was
cleaning the mess my father made comma
glass everywhere
period
Everything from counters and tables
were scattered from kitchen all the way to living room

Period.
avalon Aug 2017
this ,,hurricane in my chest cavity, it is TOO LARGE for me, i cannot cry this one away, i cannot choke down this cataclysm i was not built for devastation
     i only bruise my knuckles 'cause i cant contuse my mind,

                                                  lover mine.
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