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Falling down the rabbit hole
Endless darkness engulfs me
Is this my eternity?

A back slams ******* the ground
It must be mine
My body vibrates from the impact
Have I finally fallen back into reality?
N O
H E L P?
Eating pills like candy
Sweet and tangy
as they glide down my throat
Sunbathing on a mushroom
Taller than a skyscraper
Blisters cover my skin
Smoking hookah
With  the butterfly's from my stomach
The Pansies dwarf me
as the tulips gawk
Their shrill laughter coating my soul

With a heart that's much too small
I  bask in white roses colored with my own  blood
joining the others in outcast
the format got mad ****** up bc this site kinda ***** but its ok
****
Why am i such a failure
I thought
Finally
It'll be better
But it's not
and i don't think it will ever be
It's so dark here
In this place that was once so bright
The moment i stepped in
Out went the lights
I wake up in an unknown room
With needles sticking out of both my hands and one in my arm
There is a tube down my throat and i cant figure out why im still breathing
I look around with blurry eyes
And here the beeps with foggy ears
I look up to see clear bags on poles connected to the needles
I feel like i can hear the slow drip drip drip of the liquid flowing through those tubes
I know it is impossible but i could feel those drips
They were like tiny earth quakes in my hands
That shook me to my coar
A smiling blonde nurse walks in and takes the tube out of my throat
Her name is McKenzie
McKenzie tells me how I was life flighted to spokane
How i have been in a coma for 4 days
How my heart rate was above 170
How my dog found me
laying on the concrete floor covered in my own ****
But all i can hear is the incessant beeping of machines
All i can hear is the sound of my own failure
I took so many pills i lost track after 150
I could still feel the steel knife against my skin
I was so careful
So sure
Well
They always say third times the charm.
I am alone
I think at this point i have become part of the void
I float among the stars
Aimlessly
Thoughtlessly
As i try to keep my grip on reality
It drips through my fingers like oil
cascading into the darkness
bleh
his lips caress my collar bone
as his hands begin to roam
the sounds of shaking breath
skin against skin
and moaning voices
echos into the stars
inviting pleasure in
his finger tips gripping my hips
are all thats keeping me from floating into space
rough words whispered in sweet tones
are all that are convincing me this is reality
the bruises he leaves behind after he's done
just remind me of what once was
and once they disappear again
i go crawling back for more
bleh i only write this stuff because im alone in the world
Who am i too mourn what was never mine
Tears have been shed time after time
I see you driving by
And i cry even though you were never mine
My love was from afar
But you knew that from the start
Like a flame i burned too hot
Scorching your skin when you tried to get close
So instead of wearing heat resistant clothing
You chose to ******* away
Here's one from deeeeeeeeeeep in my archives like way down there
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