For me, it took my sanity, my peace of mind, and shattered the trust I had placed in you. While your apology might seem like a quick fix, the damage it caused is far deeper, leaving scars that words alone cannot heal.

Disembodied, broken like fragments of reality colliding with fear even so far it felt like he was hear haunting me and teasing reminding me of my actions
Instant and unchanging
Harsh and unforgiving
Never having met me but still having all of me
Saved to the cruelty of social contempt
My youth is what he kept..
      Following my struggle he  
                                           Laughed?
                 As
                        I
                             Wept

Like a quote that I cannot remember
Like a song stuck right in my head
A fire once, now it’s an ember
Ash pages of words that were said.

Like a waft that drifts out of the kitchen
Just a hint of the past, so sweet.
I have scars that I know were once stitches
But I only recall summer heat.

Like water, like sand, to hold in your hand
To cradle when it just slips away.
It was art, it was home, not written but shown,
Now crumbled, broken pieces of clay.

I miss it!
What was it?
I miss what I lost!
It was warm, it was cold, it was piercing and soft.
It was something, just something
I feel calling me back.

I’d go to it now if I hadn’t lost track.

If you came up to me and said you wanted me back
I would go
In a heartbeat

I tend to spill my thoughts when I feel safe.
Something about the way
I am to lean on you.
My love bleeds into the smallest details
And controversies
And the things I’ve laid my heart in,
Even if, to the rest of the world, they are mundane.

But I forget that you are broken too,
And in attempt to protect me, you neglected to heal.
I don’t have the inhumanity to tell you that even with your sacrifices
I still ended up crumpled
Like the bits of paper I poured my heart into.

When your response is to slash at me blindly,
And ignore your coughs as you’re buried
In the hope that seeped from the slits I’ve made,
I now have long learnt to hold my tongue.

Even as the taste of blood floods my mouth
I will acknowledge your jagged pieces
As I wish you had acknowledged them yourself;
As I wish you could acknowledge mine.

She is a mosaic
Of beautiful, broken things
Melded together by hands
Far more careless than my own
I wish for nothing more
Than to take the fragments
Of her fragile existence
And turn them into something
That lets the light shine through

Elegantly without mistep put up the dish
Tremorlessly clean the mess of a mind
Upon the sacred fall outs make a wish
Ask the universe for freedom to be mine

Find yourself before you heed all that's broken
Be careful to not step on the glass shards
Try and try to be there try and listen
So that maybe you can mend broke hearts

Be there when his whole world comes down
Greet him without a sympathetic sigh
Trust your arm to hold him close
Because Into your shoulder he'll cry

Fight the unseen battle walls
Crack your imposing glass ceiling
Because no matter how many times you fall
You'll never get a risen feeling

Tell him you'll be ok for him
So long as he himself is ok
And sometimes you'll have to lie to him
Because he desperately needs you to stay

Fight through the worst of mental storms
Ignore everything that causes you pain
And when the worst of news has formed
You tell them that you're ok

The money is hot but not as your hands
I can buy a new pillow but not your shoulder