Times that we meet,
We speak
The way I prepare for you,
to turn the other cheek

Times we are apart
Conversations fill like a scar
A part of me broken
Part of me changed
A part of me complained

Evil or no evil
Thoughts fight you like a demon
A demon to me is a father to you
A mother to her
And parents

To me you are demons
Demons that claim me
Demons,
that make me feel crazy
Sometimes hazy
Lazy

A fight that isn't mine
A fight not yours
A moment wasted
No longer who I was,
before you came in

I read a book about men and anger —
and it clawed into my chest like guilt with teeth.
Not just the loud eruptions,
but the quiet fires I never noticed burning,
the way I smoldered
while pretending I wasn’t heat.

Was I the villain in our ruin?
Is that why I wake up with her face aching behind my eyes?
Why I weeped this morning
from dreaming of her warmth beside me?

Yes, I shouted.
Yes, I shut down.
Yes, I swallowed rage until it poisoned everything we tried to build.
But didn't she light matches too?

She pulled away —
a distance I could feel, even when her skin was close.
Was it all a plan?
was she really “just waiting" to be rid of me?

I wanted forever.
Now all I have is this loop —
the smoking remnants of what was,
what might have been,
what may never come again.

I walk to breathe.
I walk to scream in silence.
I walk to stop myself from picking up the bottle.
From spiraling back into shame’s embrace.

What does it mean when two broken people call each other home?
Was it love? Survival?
Or history?
A scar we made sacred
as she paid the price.

Curtains half closed
Maybe half open
Dependent on the look
Of the environment

It never happened quiet
Just as a thunderstorm
Trying to be a breeze
You made me feel

A bulb flashing light
Powering with full might
Why is it always a maybe
Or a could've or should've

But never a genuine "would've"
Torn within the darkness of the light
The last breath before a time
Tainted red-

You wished, you prayed
But really never fixed the light
That wasn't at a regular volt
Just a overworked circuit

When all I wanted was peace.

My heart danced every shift
Every hour of our work
This friendship born form a myth
On a timetable-
Ready to be clocked in

I was down further than-
Just being down on your knees
I was six feet deep
This all was when we met

You might've never know
The impact you had on my soul
Life flashing by like a still full
Why is it after all these months

I still regret the way we never talked
I was committed to someone
Who wasn't you, and yet it was nice
A friendship ready to bloom

It felt like you say me
With all the colors and hues
And yet you said, let me unpack
And sit back, with a coffee

Watch this woman love life
And fall back in love with it
Right beside my own heart
That's stopped beating when-
She blocked my number

And maybe you were never mine,  
not even in kindness,  
but for every shift we stayed late  
I healed within the silence,  
while your voice reminded me  
how worth showing up I still was

Even when work would drive me crazy
When you showed up I knew
That life didn't have to sit still
Even when after I left- you,
You never left, me.

Love is a blind eye and a broken heart
Can’t see the trouble before the start

You see what you want to and it all looks good
Can’t show you anything but I wish I could

There’s trouble in the making; love doesn’t come cheap
You will pay for it all, even if there’s nothing to keep

You won’t see it coming, you won’t have a clue
There’s going to be trouble and it’s all on you

Love is a blind eye and a cold broken heart
You won’t find the pieces after you are torn apart

An empty hole where your heart used to be
A desperate soul just dying to be free

Moon & Rain

A boy gazes at the moon.
Suddenly, he imagines her 
the way she’d step onto the terrace,
Letting her hair fall through her fingers

As the memory drifts,
he recalls how he once saw her as the moon.
Likewise,
she saw him as the rain.

Though he was life 
soft, cleansing, gentle 
she called him bad weather,
and brought an umbrella.

He/rain could fall on everything:
rooftops, rivers, roses in bloom 
but never on her.
(Even though she stood on the rooftop to begin with.)

Rain was never meant
to touch the moon.
*She was never his to begin with

You are the black tulip,
In a field of warm colors.
Slender, atop the hill,
You drew me in.
With petals shining in light of moon,
From the start I knew,
You were a dangerous beaute.
I dove in anyways,
Into your inky waters.
Where your roots wrapped around me,
Keeping me in your whispers,
Torment as I tried to swim.
I know you lied,
When we would say goodbye,
If this is how you treated the man you loved,
Do you really love at all?

I’d cut my soul, oh yes, my soul,
into a million glimmering shards of fire,
and fling them skyward with trembling hands
to form a constellation you might name Desire.
A compass made of wound and will,
to guide you home through storm and still.

Each fragment, bright with ache and grace,
would hum with hymns from long-lost place,
where memory meets the marrow’s song,
and even silence learns to belong.
I’d stitch the sky with every piece,
until your sadness found release.

And should you tremble in the dark,
loathe the lines upon your face,
or scorn the parts you’d dare not mark,
I’d kneel before that tender space.
With ink made from my bleeding trust,
I’d write sonnets into your stardust.

To the furrowed brow, the shame you hide,
the corners where your fears reside,
I’d sing. Not of perfection’s light,
but of your jagged, holy night.
Of crooked teeth and childhood scars,
of all that makes you who you are.

I’d stand, yes, still, in shadow’s keep,
beside the ghosts you try to sweep,
and whisper, “Love, I do not flee,
your night has always sheltered me.”
For dark is not the end of light,
but where stars dream themselves alight.

So let me burn, if burn I must,
my soul a lantern wrought from trust.
And know, though storms may steal your flame,
my light will spell your secret name.
And guide you, love, through fear and moan,
a constellation to lead you home.