I know you’ve heard these words before
I've said them many times before
I wish that I could use them more
To make things better like before

There was a time these words had meaning
Sheathed in heartfelt cries and feelings
But a shaman who can't heal
Is just a man and nothing more

Like worn-out, old and ***** pennies
Now diluted by the many
There's so many, many pennies
Don't care there's one on my floor

My cries of “wolf” no longer heeded
When these words are truly needed
To the darkness they've receded
Blindly searching for that door

In my chest still beats a heart
While pained regret tears it apart
Can't fix or go back to the start
And you don’t want me anymore

My anger and my finger pointing
Foolishly like I'm anointed
Not the one you are annoyed with
You were wrong; I was so sure

Attentively I listened to you
In-and-out my ears your words flew
Silenced; Gave no value to you
Truth revealed strikes at my core

Awakening I newly have
With gained awareness of how bad
I took for granted what I had
A rolling tide erodes the shore

Alone I sit and think of when
We were not lovers just good friends
Fun times together that we’d spend
And from that my heart starts to soar

Reality then brings me back
Jolts like a sudden heart attack
A deep sharp pain gives me a whack
I scream until my lungs are sore

Can't fix the memories or replace
My nightmares wake me; Teary-faced
Past filled with guilt, shame and disgrace
Start questioning what life is for

It is the way the world looks
When the sun has hidden itself
And the sky is glowing in sad gradients of shadows
Teal, aqua, lilac nights
Making statements to space

I wanted to believe that rocks would take in stride their banishment from life

I wanted to believe they'd be okay with being stepped on
Ground up
Piecemeal
Tumbled, tributaried, washed and molded
Into a beaten perfection that lasts momentary--

But they weren't.

They cried gems!
they made the best replica in silica they could

They were insulted and worn close to the breast at first, but shining too bright those greedy fools mistook them for
Moonstone

a legendary thing, sacred, not God.

I wanted to believe that these rocks were intrinsic, that they had something in them
That gold was worth more than its weight
And malleable

That there was god in those plagioclase tears, that they were not the embodiment of sin

I was not convinced

How lucky you are, darling, you are loved.
Loved by the universe, loved by the stars,
To only you, my only heart revolved.
A destined parting, written in mirth's scars.
A parting that never mattered to me,
Wishing you'd remember my votive love
has set thee broken, yet alive and free.

How lucky you are, darling, you are loved.
I chased you alone with a beating heart,
You cut my tongue and sadly felt unloved
Spent good times, instead it rips me apart.
I could fill a well water made by tears
Promises I say, only you shall hear.

How lucky you are, darling, you are loved.
As I discern cents weigh better than me.
Stood in a dark cloak, pretty and gloved.
And when gone, the universe would not see,
Oh, she was a ghost who loved me...
Oh a lesson learnt when she disappeared.

"How lucky you are, you have me,"
That is what they would tell to you.
But most of all, darling, smile.
Because how lucky you are,
You are loved.

What's wrong with you?
Who do you think you are?
Look, he thinks he's tough,
he thinks he knows everything
Seriously who does he think he is
Do you think you're Prince Regent
You think you're a hard man, yeah!
How dare you, how ****** dare you
You wanna mess with us, do you, big man

Don't you know who we are!
We the business, we're more than you
We ****** rule the ******* ****** world
We rule your ***, we make and bend the law
We take and we give, we are the ****** *******
We block and you're finished, no ****** ****, no life
We come from the South, East, West  and ****** North
We are gangsters and we got the contacts and the contracts
When we say jump, you ask, how ****** high should I jump

Look this ****** small geezer playing with us
How dare you making us feel frustrated and stupid
We'll got all kinds of mind **** ready to do your head in
How dare you not play ball, a woman set up to wind you up
Now we're not getting inside gossip and juicy stories to use
Now all the women waiting eagerly to hear bedroom gossip
are all disappointed cause you are not following the ****** plot
We can't bend your head and frustrate you and stress you out
You ****** small man, you're not even tall and you wanna diss us.

Who are you you little ******
We spend all our valuable time taunting you
We try and depress and torment you and you laugh
What do you want, do you wanna mess with People's Power
We can make you disappear if we want, do you know that big boy
We put all kind of moves on yer and yet you struts like a king
We harass your ****** mind and try to demoralize you
Listen sunshine you better stop being such a ******* smart ***
You think you ******* know everything, making us look stupid.

You better watch out, you better watch ****** out
Cause ain't no Santa coming for you, we are the Rulers
And we hate you and your big ******* ****, you ain't got *****
You are costing us ****** money, time and energy, you effin ****
Do you know some of us sit all day thinking up ways to get at you
Do you know some wait in the ****** cold to watch you all day
You think its easy having to think up nonsensical things to write
Or making up all kinds of scenarios all because of you *******
You think you are superman, Atlas and Einstein rolled into one!

Do you, George, Answer me George.....answer Me!!!

With no argument I think most people agree
With the adage stating that, "you are what you eat"
But it's possible there's information not known
Having equal importance or maybe more so

All the nutrients eaten; We intake our food
It will travel through digestive tract once consumed
Same can also be said of our actions and thoughts
They're the building blocks making up all that we are

Brains are not like a rigid or fixed type machine
An old dog and new tricks go together it seems
Our plasticity will let us both change and shift
It makes pathways; New neural links over the rifts

These connections might possibly benefit us
But this same mechanism can also do stuff
With a negative scope, the outlook and belief
We might think we're no good; Our lives filled with much grief

If we're constantly saying things inside our heads
Like self-doubting, self-loathing and feelings of dread
Then our brain will re-wire to fit this outlook
Once ensconced in this spectrum; Not easily shook

The same way that a person engages with time
Like activity, also is true with the mind
A small change in the way that we look at ourselves
The new thoughts and beliefs in our mind start to meld

With the make-up within that each one of us holds
Self-beliefs and self-doubts from our birth till we're old
Like a painter with ink; Our brush never is dry
We are always creating what's in our mind's eye

So don't hinder yourself with a picture that's bleak
Just believe in yourself and go get what you seek
You are capable of so much more than you know
All it takes is belief and in time it will show

Poem dedicated to you

Those looks
Always make me forgot Books...
Nothing so shine
When I call you mine...
Whenever I feel lazy
Your coming made me crazy...
Touching your soft hand
I feel like a magic wand...
Staring into your eyes
RAYEES Catching the stars along the skies...
I am your's
You are mine
Together we always shine
Never forgot you r mine..

The buttresses hold
With rectangular image
The faces of God.

Hillside tree fingers
anxious branches hear winds
and wave to old friends.

so, gather round where i
stand & listen:
THAT now by autumn's rumblin'
season; the world & Heaven's
army is moving forward, to
war.
All within my closed eyes:
dream if i could -- i would.
And now All is clear we're
all insane under rows of
personae's saber sharp-tooth'd
kiss and we, dear...are
bleeding beneath a lowering
curtain called, "The robe of
Ghosts."

:: 11-06-2016 ::