Lately I have had a feeling of a sense of deep foreboding in the air,
every time I stop to pause, to think, I can feel it just lurking there.

An all pervasive feeling that all things are not as they should be,
and I get an anxious sensation that it's effects are not just on me.

Colours of nature seem all faded and the air seems different too,
the sky is somehow much more ominous and appears a paler blue.

Even the birds I see upon their wing seem more skittish everyday,
and I wonder if they feel it too, does a dark fear halt their play?

I sense a tension in the natural order of these once normal things,
and my heart and mind are fearful of what message this all brings.

Like some silent siren wailing or invisible flashing hazard light,
my mind is filled with deepest dread and senses things aren't right.

Far too much time caught up thinking upon the portents that I see,
with each terrifying thought I pray for all, to hope that its just me.

words swirl in my head
and dance between the lines
flirtatiously

antsy hands tingle

I know the way out
but I want the way through

my life has started whirling
down a sink of self doubt
I question everything I love
because my perfect life
has started to crack
revealing all the aches
I had tried to cover

you know what *****?
waking up all alone in the morning, without him next to you.
you know what *****?
that all of his clothes you have doesn't smell like him anymore.
you know what *****?
no longer receiving forehead kisses and unexpected hugs.

it just ***** that you could spend all this time with someone you thought you'd marry, just to find out 5 years later that it wasn't going to work out.

if only, there was time.
if only, someone showed us a sign.
if only, we could have turned back time.

that's a lot of what-ifs to ponder, but I suppose it is what it is.

a love that was snatched from you in the blink of an eye even after the grieving phase is over, with explanations that you will never accept.

a love that was undeniably strong especially when you thought the two of you would be forever.

I feel like my thoughts
are pouring out my ears
everyone can hear things
that i don't want them to hear
that's not a good thing
they'll make fun of me
if they hear my thoughts
they wouldn't leave me be
they'd all bully me
I'm being sincere
these types of thoughts
I want no one to hear