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My hands start shaking.
I can feel my heart violently beating in my throat
threatening to choke me.
I can feel it hammering against my chest trying to break free
it’s like playing drums on my rib cage.
my brain stops completely
leaving me alone in the predicament.
I have no time, all my thoughts can be seen.
In the end, I always end up speaking nonsense.
With stutters and stammers interrupting each sentence.
Making them feel awkward and confused
about how to reply
to the nonsense I just spewed.
~2022
Serena Sep 2023
i miss being wanted. i know i must have felt it before, because how can one long for something they've never known?
i wish i was able to believe in love outside of view.
but it seems like every new moon i forget your touch
and i'm running through the woods just to make you love me again.
i believe you every time you tell me you could never hate me (how couldn't i)
but sometimes your words don't last.
sometimes i lie in bed trying to make myself dream of you so i won't exhaust you with my cries in the night.
sometimes i want to take advantage of your soft hands
feel safe in your mind
and let you take care of me even when i don't need it.
it makes me feel selfish, to want that kind of love.
selfish is something i long to be, once
maria Jul 2023
That sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.
The urge to deprive yourself of food because you don't deserve it.
The tightness in your neck and spine, unable to loosen.
That jitteriness in your veins that won't dissipate.
The disassociation between your eyes and brain, as if they're underwater.
The longing for an unnatural, impractical early death out of exhaustion.
That searing headache wrapped around the circumference of your skull.
The simultaneous hollowness and nausea in your throat and below where your ears meet your jaw.
Ila Jul 2023
I was on my laptop playing a high stress game
And I switched tabs and saw that telegram had a notif
My heart beat a million times per second
I could feel it beating through my chest
Much like the time we spent in my backseat, professing our love to each other

My heart beat fast
Palms sweaty
It’s a lot like falling in love
But you aren’t here

I check the message and it’s not you
My heart continues to beat as loud and as fast as it was
Am I relieved that it wasn’t you?
Why did I feel so anxious, thinking it had been you
I wished it was you
I really wished

I hoped you talked to me again
And yes
I am upset that it wasn’t you

Why do we reserve things for special people in our lives?
That thing just gets ruined when they’re no longer there

My heart still beats fast
Trying to calm down
I felt all the symptoms of nervousness all at once
I really hoped it was you
But alas you’ve left my life
I should stop hoping it’s you

I am disappointed it’s not you
Please come back.
Please come back. I keep hoping that it's you.
Alex McQuate May 2023
Give me a minute,
And I will make it worth an hour,
An hour,
I will make it worth a year,
A year,
Well....
Let's take that minute and you will see.

Rapid fire like a Lewis Gun,
Rattle and shake like a can of spray paint,
So nervous you can clearly see,
A golden chance I don't want to squander,
A chance that won't repeat.

Fit to burst with ideas and dreams,
Too many for me to speak,
One HAS to stick,
Just HAS TO,
I CAN'T FAIL TO SPEAK.

Fifteen seconds to go,
Where did the time fly?
Please don't see me as mud beneath your feet,
Give me this chance and you will see,
That this is an easily fulfilled dream.

DING

You get out,
Something I'm sure that you're glad to hear and see,
But as you get out you ask for my number,
And that maybe we'll speak
Afeksi cita Mar 2023
•••

It is anxiety, underneath my smiles
There are despaires within my tries
And as happiness slowly fades,
My mind started to lose its faith

Been trying..
To smile, behind my secrets
Been thinking..
It is okay, when things do not go my way

Been pretending..
It is fine, even when i fell far behind
But, I am longing..
To find the path to shake off my sads

But lately..
I can not help but to feel like I am losing my track
Becase all that I am is..
Just a one big house full of wrecks

•••
Talia Feb 2023
Camouflaged amongst
chaotic crowds
 
Eyes with a ****** range
Scanning
 
Target detected.
Locked in                              
 
since you weren’t
Locked up.
 
Heart rate raised. Enraged.
I check my calibre.
explored using ****** terminology
Kushal Feb 2023
For a mind unclear and sitting in wait,
A drip of exposition
Settles into a calmer state.

Questions asked, with answers that weigh
No bearing.
Although the clarity come with peace,
It would be better not to care.

Tell me what to do, where to go
And how to steer
Or help me come to terms
That
"Things don't have to be clear"
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