Standing on a launchpad
I was readied for a push
Countdown had begun
The trajectory was set
And I was prepared,
For a journey unmade

The gush of fire beneath
Had ****** me up
And as the fuel burned,
I moved ahead
Against the friction
Of atmosphere
Against the Earth's
Gravity
Into the
Stratosphere.

I left behind
The ball of life
Traveled beyond,
Much beyond
into the abyss of
Space

I surpassed the red Mars
Towards the Giant.
Jupiter!
That's where I was headed,
A journey that was
Never before made.

Through the dark of
Space
Through the unseen
Light
Traveling in
Time
Traversing the
Unknown
I finally touched
The ****** soil,
Of Jupiter.

A journey that was
Never before made,
Is now, a journey
Accomplished.

I spy something
Murky red
And in the
Bottom of my cup.
I wash it down with
Something less than
Reluctant
While leaving the
Rust,
Or assumed iron,
To chance,
This one chance
And not to be
Repeated.

Tomorrow,
Now today,
I spy something
Murky red,
Once more tomorrow,
Tomorrow’s tomorrow,
Again and again
And day after days,
Rusty red
In the bottom of my
Cup –
I grow paranoid.

I empty the
“Keep,”
And creep into every
***,
Tea-***,
Pan and/or
Cooking tool
Seeking
Threatening material,
Foreign material,
And lodged in my brain
Material.

So too,
Amid my investigations,
I’d discovered
Alzheimer’s,
Dementia,
Blindness,
A stroke or two,
And in some cases
Death
Had you ingested enough
Ore,
Or so I’ve heard.

I spy
Metal flakes
Atop
Metal constructs,
Heavy,
Soft, caustic,
And broken post
Point-of-sale,
Broken
And now in me,
Circulating through my –
Spleen,
Kidney
And brain.

I’ve developed a
Phobia
For unwanted edible metal,
A curious
Cereal
Resulting from the
Cartoon
Of my
Dying grandfather,
Once an architect,
Now ten minutes to
Tie shoes –
A brain hemorrhaged
Iron, I’m sure of it.

our flock creeps blissfully towards the abyss
we do not feel the tightened leash any longer
our heads full of beaming ignorance
because the network keeps us socially
alive

our flock ***** judgements and squeezes them
laughing in other eyes until also the exaltation
that still remains becomes ordinary and slowly
extinguishes into a darkness in which no child
can read

our flock could graze upon new lands
but prefers to stay in a barren circle
pacing up and down

up and down

I peered into the nothing,
and in the nothing there, -was nothing...

I meditated softly, on darkness did I think.
Straining to see deeper and thereby caught a wink.

"No it's really there?" -To myself I said, "Tis' something?"
There is something there, no I see, there isn't nothing?

And suddenly I realized that everything I knew wasn't really something and never was it new? Never would I seek again to dwell on darkness -think, never would I ever wonder;

"What was in that noth-thing?"

Never would I hope to find that something was in nothing; for nothing is just nothing. Never would I seek again to find something in the nothing.

That darkness overwhelming, that Abyssimal Sea,
And sometimes something's in the nothing, there’s something there, you see?

And when staring in the darkness sometimes you cannot get free...

For sometimes seeking something in the
                                                                ­       Nothing

                      ...and nothing you will be.

Living a life full of shadows, full of echoes
Voices from my past bellows
In my head and in my heart
They seem to want to tear me apart
To make me pay a price I don't owe
The devil put a price on my soul
He's tried to crush me
Rush me
Brush me aside
Make me hide
God's angels join in
Chasing away any friend

I'm not ment for heaven or hell
I just ride the growing swell
Until I'm dropped into the hole
Where all the unwanted souls go
The black abyss will be a welcome sight
No longer having to put up a fight
There in the darkness I'll dwell in delight
Far from hell's dogs
Or those heavenly hogs

When I exhale,
come out long, deeply drawn sighs
slithering out of bottomless
abyss within
Ringing out loud
its cold echoes
piercing my ears
enveloping heart in a chilling vacuum
filling every pore
so much
that I dread to exhale

My life's a steep regression

As a plummet to depression

No longer one, but a multitude -

Little pieces of devalued

Shattered, skewed and tiny

Pieces of what was once shiny

That has now faded - dark

It's time to go embark

The ship of life at sea

Where the waves can go have me

And I can spiral down

Maybe slowly drown

In the heavy weight of mind

Of people who were once kind

Yet backstabbed me to hell

Wounds heal? Time will tell

I want to end the hate

But realise that fate

Has something else in store

As I walk out by the door

En route, I walk and fall

And I break, get up and crawl

To what should be my end

But once I took the bend

All hell broke lose together

Could I really, truly sever

The link I have to life

To rid myself of strife?

It all look, now, so real

Yet, strangely I could feel

A warm, sticky sensation

My life's final cessation

And I see my end is near

I freeze in pain and fear

Of what I would now miss

As I sink into abyss