Chest tube leaking blood from the side of my breast Alone and uncertain in a pale blue hospital dress He told me he loves me With a closed fist that felt like a loaded gun cracking two ribs that must have argued with my lung sign this waver We’re running out of time I wonder if he wouldof brought flowers to my grave. If I didn’t write my name on that line
Sometimes I wish there was a world in which you didn't exist A world where I can laugh without a judging gaze A world where I can cry without being told to **** it up A world where I can tell a story without it being cut too short A world where I can be myself without trying too hard A world where I can have friends without YOU telling me your jealous A world where I can have my own opinion without YOU saying that it's stupid A world where I can be honest without YOU yelling at me A world where I can love myself without feeling like I'll never be good enough for YOU Sometimes I wish there was a world in which you didn't exist but sometimes I wonder if I'm wishing for too much
"Hey sorry I'm late" "Are you okay?" "Huh? Yeah I just got stuck at work." "I was so worried" "I'm okay" "I’m sorry I-- You didn’t show up and I-- I started to panic--" "Okay well I’m here now… I'm okay. Are you?" "So what-- Do you think I’m not okay?" "I-- I didn’t mean it like--" "You think I’m not okay… I-- I’m okay!" "Okay" "I’m okay." "O-Okay."
"Let’s sit dow--"
They slap him across the face. Their rings cut into his skin. Blood trickles down his cheek.
"I-- I’m so sorry-- I don’t know what got into me." "It’s… It’s okay…" "I’m sorry." "It’s okay." "I’m sorry." "It’s okay. It was an accident."
It was in that moment when I couldn’t walk outside wearing shorts that I knew society was ****** up It was in the moment that my shirt that hung off my shoulders meant that I wanted to have *** that I knew society was ****** up Because we’re built on grounds that say if you’re still a ****** you’re dull and boring and if you’re not, you’re a ***** in waiting We’re built on grounds that call girls ****** and ***** if they don’t give it up we’re built on grounds where we make girls feels worthless because they say no It was in the moment that your hands trailed my skin in a sin that I knew society was ****** up and when I told someone how your evil hands played me like a toy that it was automatically my fault because my shirt was too low and all my makeup basically said I was asking for it. But the difference between you and I was that I saw my body as a temple and you turned my temple into a sinful pool so the second time your hands wanted to play tag with my body I didn’t say anything my unresponsive language was enough to make you think I said yes because I was petrified by your greasy grimy hands that I froze and when I tried telling my mom she said guys will be guys and that I needed to move on so when you came back for the third time I didn’t scream or shout I didn’t try to fight back I thought guys will be guys and I need to move on.
Just trying to get past yesterday before dismay leads me astray , Im struggling to get away from all these twisted games you play, Its manipulation by interrogation it’s your medication for my segregation, The explanation of your dedication is a demonstration of your reputation, It’s mental torture, Pure abuse that slowly tightens like a noose, Its a pain that hides beneath the nights of tortured lies and vicious fights, You have the power to articulate which allows you to intimidate, But you manipulate to illustrate that I’m the one that’s ill of fate. It’s survival in a hated state, Using me as tempted bait, You have to know it’s time to go, Before it ends up being too late.
I tried opening my eyes, All I saw was a teary-eyed blur. I couldn't see your deceiving smile. I couldn't see your alluring blackhole eyes. I was blinded from all the tools you used to lure me into your trap. My loud wails overpowered every lie you could ever tell. And the salty taste of my tears, erased all memory of the taste of your lips. The excrutiating pain on my chest, and my extreme pants for air, killed all the butterflies I'd felt for you.
In that moment, when everything that led me to you was blocked out, I was able to finally look into myself and realise my own worth.
The scars and bruises you left all over my body, Shall forever be a reminder never to let a man like you back in my life.