Little boys should be taught ー
            That tears are okay
            That girls are not toys.

Little girls should understand ー
            That the world is not a doll's house
            That boys are china vases too.

Sparklers, fireworks and simple flame has drawn my attention since I was young.
I almost set my moms apartment ablaze at 5 years old.
She said,
"You play with fire, and you'll get burned. Or worse, you'll burn everything down."
She never told me that one day a boy would set a fire in my soul and never return to put it out.
She never told me I'd have to water it down to unusable kindling.
She never said that wet wood would warp.
She never told me that cutting off the oxygen would suffocate me, too.
I guess she shouldn't have to though, because if you play with fire, you could burn it all down.
I just never thought that "all" would mean me.

It's you.

It's always been you,
Even when I put myself in strangers arms.

When I got too drunk and said I needed you,
I meant it.

It was you,
Even when I kissed the boy with crooked teeth and a drug problem.

The time I ate mushrooms and told you how sorry I was,
My god I meant it.

It has always been you,
Even when I held hand with that one kid just because I forgot what it felt like.

When I screamed about how I never should have let you slip through my fingers on my best friends kitchen floor at 3 A.M,
I ******* meant it.

It was still you,
Even when I let you best friend wrap his hands around my neck and plant his insincerity in my brain just so I could feel something,
ANYTHING, after so much numbness.

Believe me when I say it was you when I was hooked on ******* because it embraced me in warmth like you did, when I smoked 11 cigarettes a day to cough away thoughts of you, when I did painkillers at a party to feel that deep feeling of utter nothingness but no one told me it wasn't for the emotional kind of pain.
It was you.
You.
It was you when I hit your head off the wall and said 'I love you'. I meant it. I have always meant it. I still do. It was you. And it still is. And it will always be you.

I am living in the valley of putrid decay.
Hope is black ashes in a smoldering sky.
The world? Acid rain, takes the best,
leaves the pain. I am withered in darkness,
when pervading light shows up to stimulate
the auxins in my soul. I stretch for Christ
and, I come alive with a life that’s not mine!
When He illuminates love, so divine, by sacrifice!
My pride, lust, anger covered in fluorescent colors!
This mess becomes defined as righteousness!
Re-bloomed from the inside, growing out!
The radiance of Calvary has elevated life in me!

We stopped dreaming
Why is it with everything we as humans are surrounded by we stopped dreaming
We reached for the heavens when we were told it wasn't possible and we made it happen
We reached for the depths of the oceans to explore and discover things never seen before
We constantly grew as a race to become a more powerful race
We keep each other so distracted with technology, phones, television, radio, Facebook anything to keep us from seeing the beauty around us
Do something go learn something new
Why waste your one chance you have at life inside
Go for a walk
Go for a hike
Go learn a new skill
Get up and discover there are many things to see out there
Even when surrounded by friends and family I often feel empty
There isn't a connection anymore
Everyone is too busy worried about the likes they got on Instagram, or Facebook or how many people they have as friends online
Why not live in the now
There are so many things that are going on around us that we are oblivious to
This new attatchment to screens may make us more social online but has become the death of social life in the outside world
The amount of people that yo could meet, conversate, indulge in new experiences with are endless
Just really need to get out there and discover
Discover something new it's something that will help make yourself more happy
Think of it this way will you be more proud of the likes on Instagram
Or will you proud of the amazing experience you had when that photo was taken

Hop hopeless off the L
searching for hell
"works" "works"
"subs" "subs"
"Bars" "Bars"
"Xanny Bars"
The Avenue Chant
Howl the diseased infected addicted ****
The Avenue Chant
an open drug bazaar is a beautiful thing for one playing the beautiful *****
Requiem for a Nightmare

You ask what I need
knowing what I want
Hop down the corner
You know the best spot
they got the fire
I got a house to burn
You ask, can I get one?
I think in first person with a laugh
perhaps I would give you a leg for one
I see you could use it
We keep walking
you keep limp, limp, limping down....
Cambria
Crutches clacking off the littered decaying pavement
The boys are out in town (when aren't they)
the block is hot (as always)
I wait around the corner
You do my ***** business
Our ***** business
Everyones ***** business
You swing back, deed done, dirt in hand
awwww
yeahhhhh
the stamp is cobra
I remember this ****. mm.
this **** is good
The printed snake swims up and out
siphoned from a tiny
baby
blue
bag
cleansing all insecurities, all fear, all humanity.

We limp along
You tell me how you ended up on these streets
wife kicked you out, job fired you, veterans insurance cut you.
The American dream as it looks, on Kensington streets,
circa2013
etc. etc. etc

I feel bad, but, not really, emotional skeleton,
Numbed.

I leave you with some rocks, not much,
then go off kicking
rocks all the way Redrocks
H>O<W
long can I continue without being caught in crosstalk.

A skinny white privileged boy from the suburbs
seeing his future
trotting away before his eyes
The
everlasting
haunting
crouching
limping
creature of death
A
rotten
old one
legged
......junk
Y