I am South Asian
My skin makes me repulsive
To all girls on Earth

This world is a beehive.
Studs and dimes all over.
Mingling and propagating.
Dancing like bees in search of honey.

Mortal men searching for nectar.
Is the sweetness worth it?
If I were to be honest,
I couldn't resist a taste of you either.

I've been exercising my wings.
Dusted off a blazer and a necktie.
Haircut and a smile to complete the look.
Just to cross-pollinate with you my dear.

I must be doing something right.
When everyone tells me how perfect I am.
Then why can't any queen choose me?
I guess I'm just a worker bee.

Like ice cream in Summer,
the prospect of you tasted so sweet.
Little did I know that,
you would make my heart melt away too.

Like a squall in the clear sky,
you swept me into your life.
I knew you were special when,
I floated like a feather in the clouds.

Your smile as natural as a petal.
Your laugh as sweet as saccharine.
Your eyes as green as emeralds.
Your hair as soft as silk.

If I could make it all right,
to water this seedling once more,
I would shower it with my grace
until it grew into a flower.

Your lips taste like honey,
as they press against mine.
Two pink pillows blessing my soul.
Stirring violent chemical reactions within me.

Your body feels like a petal.
In my arms, against my chest.
I'd say my heart flutters,
but 'leaps' is more appropriate.

Your hair flows like silk.
And you didn't even try to make it look nice.
The way it swirls when you play with it.
Dancing, teasing, flirting with me.

Your eyes look like gems.
They dilate when you laugh.
Caress me when you smile.
Lick me when you gaze.

Your skin feels like a feather.
My fingers crawling, exploring.
As I undo your bra.
Inhaling your sweet scent.

Your legs feel like a bow tie.
Wrapping around my back,
pushing me into you.
As I wake to an empty bed.

Respectful message.
I'm too nice.

Flirty message.
I'm too aggressive.

Long, descriptive message.
I'm too wordy.

Short, succinct message.
I'm too boring.

I hope you understand this message.

Step out the door with leather loafers.
Fix my collar before I start the car.
Windows down, blast some K-Dot.
Meetin' someone new tonight.

I'll slam on the gas for
every breath that he took from you.
Beads of sweat trickled down your back,
as you moaned for more.

It's all good in my chest.
My heart'll be alright once I'm at the club.
It's still pumping blood with each beat.
While he's pumping in and out of you.

Drunk and dancing with a new lady.
She's cuter than you, I swear.
She even pulled me in for a kiss.
Confidence, something you never had.

I invited her over to my place.
God, her body felt so good as
I pulled her hips against mine
and she bit my lip in ecstasy.

We even went again in the morning.
Quid pro quo, just for you.
She'll be my new drug so that
I can quit you cold turkey.

Hand out the window in the heat-soaked Summer.
Your hair a mess like always.
The Jackson ******* kind of mess I love.
Your smile stings—no, injects me,
full of that sweet syrupy goodness,
that you call true love.

Your skin seemingly melts,
with each wet kiss on your body so svelte.
Your eyes deceptively tease,
urging me to be the one to please.
Your touch surreptitiously ignites,
my deepest desires of the night.

I've heard my fair share of concertos,
yet they sound like a cacophony of sounds,
compared to the symphony of,
cries, moans, and whispers,
that are the product of our *******.

My love for you is like,
the interstate on which we drive.
Asphalt.
Gravel.
Sand.
Down to the last grain.
You can't find where it ends.

I receive an average of 1 text per day.
It's usually a bill payment reminder.
I have no friends.
No, literally, none at all.

I'm on 3 dating websites,
sending 50 messages a day.
Zero replies.

I'm fit. Gym 7 days a week.
Well-groomed and clothed.
I've been called handsome.
None of that matters.

I can explain a
thermodynamic chemical equation to you.
And it'd still be easier than for me
to land a date.

I'm going to settle for a woman when I'm 40.
She'll be in her 30s, desperate to conceive.
We'll have some children but no interest in each other.
And that'll be the end of my romantic life.

Doesn't it hurt?
When I say no?
When the words finally spurt?
Doesn't it make you jealous when I glow?

On the brink of breakup.
When the end seems to arrive inevitably.
When you pray for us to makeup.
But show it ever so surreptitiously.

I remember when life was simpler.
When you fought with fists and not words.
When you weren't an emotional stickler.
Now we yearn for school trips, like nerds.

Dark moments make the good ones brighter.
Maybe that's why I fight through quarrels like this.
To see you recover from your issues like a fighter.
How do we get through it: say "Sorry" and kiss.

I am rejected by all.

I am devoid of life.

I am invisible to those around me.

Everyone dates, kisses, makes love.

I go to sleep with tears in my eyes.

I am a hollow shell of a human.

I ****
I'm not bad enough
I'm not nice enough
I'm not cute enough
I'm not rugged enough
I'm not smart enough
I'm not average enough
I'm not talkative enough
I'm not quiet enough
I'm just a soul in a vessel
I'll never find my mate
I ****

It's never enough.
Being kind and caring.
Being funny.
Being smart.
Being there.

It's never enough.
Dressing well for you.
Being groomed for you.
Being **** for you.
Being beautiful for you.

It's never enough.
Saying all the right things.
At the right times.
Being confident and suave.
Being calm and collected.

It's never enough.
Having a good job.
Being ambitious.
Being non-materialistic.
Being an adult.

It's never enough.
Treating you with respect.
Trying to attract you.
Trying to court you.
Trying to win you.

It's never enough.
When I try my best.
Give it my all.
And you don't bat an eye.
Because you're simply not interested.

It's never enough.
When you try to be perfect.
And try to court her today.
And the other girl a month later.
And another girl a year later.

Just to be shot down.
Every.
Single.
*******.
Time.

I am not white.
I'm smart.
Attractive.
Fit.
Yet I am invisible.

I am driftwood in
a vast ocean teeming with fish.

Empty, void, desolate.
Full, rich, abundant.

No friends.
All colleagues.

No tears.
Just sadness.

No lover.
Only compromises.

The sadness of life.
Alongside the beauty of life.

I can't flirt.
I come off as creepy.
I'm too dry.
Dating is complicated.
I hate it.
Whatever happened to being honest.
I guess it went down the drain.
Along with my hopes for love.

I'm so ugly.
I repulse women.
I'm so ugly.
I'm not worth a look.
I'm so ugly.
I'm the last option.
I'm so ugly.
I'm not even white.
I'm so ugly.
I'm invisible to the world.

0
Birth
10
Learn
20
Rejection
30
Apathy
40
Desperation
50
Settle
­60
Depression
70
Envy
80
Hatred
90
Death