You aren't here
You aren't anywhere.
All you ever do in life
Is blow clouds through the air,
Wasting away through strife.
You know your wife hates it.
You know your children do.
You know that all our money goes
To your selfish habits and you
As your addiction grows

I love you though...
I just wish you'd end this phase-
The one that's spending all our cash
And shortening your days until
You're turned into dust and ash.

You're an absent father
(MY absent father..)
Only here when you need to be
Then you're gone for the end of this verse
And most in between
Either spaced out, asleep, or hearsed.

Sky's dark and dreary
Rainy, dashed with thunderstorms-
Perfect time to play

I'll hide myself in the pits of hell
If that means I can escape
The tint of a toxic faith
In the heavenly realm.

I sit up on my roof and admire the stars...
They're wonderfully brilliant,
Sparkling like sapphires,
Rubies, and quartz,
Radiant gemstones, and
Jubilant amethyst.

I await my turn to fall into the abyss,
But it's not yet,
And won't be for a while to come.

The country is completely broken,
The state has always been ruined.
Everywhere is fear
The end is drawing near:
Touch your heart and sing a tune.

Nobody remembers the meaning
Behind patriotic songs we sing.
The endless peace they promise,
Lies the way drama is-
The government needs to rethink.

You cannot trust the government
The future of it is endlessly bleak.
The enforcers ooze hatred.
What men breathe is seen sacred.
Though truth is what we seek.

The truth is not in the men.
Political beings only breathe lies.
All things they say are false
They speak of “freedom for all”
Meanwhile, the children in cages cry.

The country is completely broken.
The state is all but crumbled.
Rebellion draws near,
Instating copious fear
But the Man In Charge scoffs untroubled.

A siren wails in the distance-
“Please stand once more for the Pledge.”
We speak of freedom and justice.
We pray and plead for bliss
We’d rather die than follow to the ledge.

We cry out for mercy one final time.
We pray for our Clock’s final chime.
We trudge onward through levels of slime.
We wait for the end of crime.

There is nothing anymore we can do.
Trenches of safety reveal no peaceful view.
The Ending feels like sweet morning dew.
Terrible times will, at last, be through.

One more cry. One more shout.
One more time to figure things out.
One more lie. One more bout
Of joy before our time runs out.

The chorus sings on as if forced by swarms
Of unhappy police with ticking bombs
Ready to light the fuses with no qualms
And end the lives of the morally at arms.

For peace, we scream.
For liberty, we shout.
For love, we yearn.
We bleed life out.

There is almost hope for the country,
But we need others to listen.
If we yell loud enough,
Maybe the future will begin to glisten.

We can save future generations.
We can leave this life with hope.
We can give them a future,
And their future will help me cope.

I know that I'm crazy.
I know that I'm not okay.
I now don't have a home
I have nowhere to be safe.

I want to cry,
I want to die,
I can't even try
My tears won't dry...

I think about you
Before I close my eyelids
And drift off to sleep.
Dreams consume my simple life-
What I wish happened-
Holding your hand in mine
Or imagining
Falling asleep in your arms.

.

I haven't written in ages;
Now words flow through my hands.
The river falls on its own
Over the cliffs of satiation.

The dam has broken..
Like a failing wall, once towering,
Now toppled,
The once still water cascades freely,
Filling my mind.
Running through my arms.
Spewing out my fingertips
Unaided by mental power.
The works I've not posted until now
Have been waiting anxiously
For this moment.

I can't stop writing.
Phrases leave my mouth
Already poetic.
Already emotive
Already grasping
For a chance at publicity

There are too many things in the world
Too many objects
Too many people
Too many places
Too many sounds
Too many smells
Too many words
Too many letters
Too many feelings
Too many lies
Too many books
Too many countries
Too many faces
Too many sites to see
Too many tourists
Too many dishes
Too many personalities
Too many hairstyles
Too many theories
Too many stars
Too many films
Too many chairs
Too many trees
Too many computers

It's truly a shame.
There's too many things in the world;
I could never experience them all.

Words can make you feel
Many different things.
Words can make you feel
As if you have wings.

Words can also hurt
And make you feel a mess.
Words can make you change
How you look and how you dress.

Words are very dangerous
Although they're all around.
But what would happen if
They made not a sound?

The world would just feel empty
With no joy to be found.
What pleasure it does bring
That we do have sound!

So be happy we have words-
Just use them carefully
Because they are sharp
And can cut into me.

Youth of today are the leaders of tomorrow.
Treat them with respect because
They'll be the ones in charge of your corpses.
If you treat youth with incredulous rudeness,
We'll decorate your tombstone
With the very same slurs you throw at us.

There's this horrible taste in my mouth.
I can't get it out.
Why can't I get this taste out?
What can I do to fix this?
I've tried everything.
It just doesn't work

Everything you do is covered in love

I don't know why,
But I'm sad

In search of a buzz,
I emptied my guts.
Why do I do this?
I must have gone nuts.

Writing something down so I feel useful..

I'll get to my homework eventually

It doesn't help at all.
I wish it did, but I'm
Just to stupid 2 listen.

Besides if you don't care
whether I'm safe, why
Should I listen when you say so?

If safe to you means alive, then
I could beat myself black and blue
and still be 'safe'

I could tear my ******* skin off
I could roll in flames
And dance through thorns

And still
Be
"Safe."

I just can't look into your eyes;
I know that when I do, I'll cry.
Oh, I'll try, and try, and try not to lie to you,
But choking on my tears, I can't stay true.

I wish you could be here with me.
I need your rhythms and harmony.
Sure, I can sing on my own,
But I'll wander still, never finding home.

Listen, you know I can't forget you.
Our duets will go nowhere without a venue.
I live my life to make you proud,
But you only ever seem to look down.

I wish you could be here with me.
I need your rhythms and harmony.
Sure, I can sing on my own,
But I'll wander still, never finding home.

I'm sorry if I've ever upset you,
I lie awake in a cold sweat for you-
Hoping, praying, pleading I won't make you mad,
Knowing full-well you'll just be sad.

I wish you could be here with me.
I need your rhythms and harmony.
Sure, I can sing on my own,
But I'll wander still, never finding home.

You truly are my best friend.
I never want our partnership to end.
All good things must come to a close,
So I hope you'll wave to me before you go.

I wish I had the words
To perfectly describe
Everything in my life

I feel so full of letters
Of words with no real phrases
That don't seem to come together
Or form a clear idea properly

I wish I had the words

What's stopping me
From ending it here?
Is it the thoughts of my friends?
Some sort of mortal fear?

No. It's none of these.
The only thing keeping me alive
Is the possibility
I might, by some chance, survive.

why is every call empty
why is life meaningless
why are conversations lies
why are compliments shallow
why are you so optimistic
why is hope unfindable
why are there so many questions
and why are there no answers

why is there nothing but emptiness
why is there no rest other than death
why are my messages always
unanswered
why is my voice never heard
why does everyone move on without me
why does silence seem so loud
why is loneliness comforting
and why is being alone so painful

why do you seem to love me
but only when no one else is around

In the Autumn months,
Everything withers and dies,
It's the seasons' turning.
Little white snowflakes
Arise from hibernation
After summer's heat
And bring coldness to the world
flying through the air.

Sunshine is light and very cheery,
But it's also painful and makes me weary

It tastes repulsive.
It has a nasty texture.
It's the bane of gods.

But the table you sit at
Holds so many memories
And will always feel like home.

This time it was my grandfather..

Mother tells her version of a story
Everyone believes her instead
Getting on her side
And making me wish I was dead

Where the wind will blow
Is beautifully darkened
Past the horizon

The whiteboard is empty.
The classroom is buzzing.
Summer's almost here,
But I won't do a thing
Except await next year
For school to reappear.

My body is a cage.
This broken mortal frame
Grasps onto air and lies
As it falls and fails to try.
I morph its ugly worthlessness
With personality and fitness
To break my ribs and then to
Cause fat to redistribute.
My body is a cage,
And its broken, warped frame
Will never, ever cease to be
Something that disgusts me.

My lungs are filled with ash.
My blood is watered down.
My brain is floating idly,
And my body won't be found.

I feel their screams..
first just one
then a dozen
then hundreds:
the miniscule stab mouths
drowning in darkness.
they're scraped across,
almost saving them,
but the dark pools remain
filling the scream mouths

for eternity,
leaving art
unless the mouths fester
or rot away completely

I'm a walking corpse
Who should be dead.
I should die
But can't
****

No longer pleased by quiet passing,
I write and fill notebooks.
Every scrap of paper is coated,
Bleeding black ink,
Gasping for a chance
To be seen
Before it's crumpled and thrown on the floor,
Gathered with discarded others near the bin

I'm pretty sure there's something there
Behind my eyes
Or under my skin.

Something is waiting to be set free
Something willing to **** to get out

Perhaps there's a bug
Or a sickness
Or something else..

Maybe it's adoration
Or weird love or friendship
Or other corny stuff..

I just think I'm too sentimental
And need to let go

I just wanna leave this town behind
Ditch all the things that remind
Me of this place.
I wanna live all alone
In my cozy home
That I've made.

I care more about my music than
Any type of mathematic lines.
I need to get away from here
Before I go c'razy in my mind

I'll write the world away
And I'll run and run all day

My frantic verses evolve surely
Leading into failed runs of thought
Or perhaps they'll fly away
Into the sun

A t   t h i s   p o i n t ,   I ' m   l e s s   h u m a n   t h a n   a   s k u l l .
T h e   u n c a n n y   v a l l e y   i s   m y   h o m e
E x c e p t   I   d w e l l   s i x   f e e t   u n d e r   t h e   s u r f a c e .

Sometimes I like to run away,
Away to secret places.

Away to sea,
Away to water
Away to where nothing ever falters.

I run away to a secret spot.
While there, I like to sit.

Sit and dream,
Sit and wish,
Sit and talk amongst the fish.

Sometimes I sit upon a dock.
While there, I like to cast.

Cast out sorrow,
Cast out fears,
Cast out all my aching tears.

Happy thoughts inside of me
Simply leak straight out

Replaced with worry,
Replaced with doubt,
Replaced with fear of standing out.

And in that state
Within my mind,
All good things vanish.
My life is timed.

"Ticking slowly,
Ticking fast,
Ticking away is my past.

I live, I breathe,
I sleep, I die.
In all I do is I, I, I...

I wish, for once, it was of you
And the amazing things you do
For I am small and worthless too.
Just **** me now, and that will do."

But then I think,
'Is that really me?
Are those the thoughts that my mind sets free?'
They should instead be taken away.

Away to sea,
Away to water,
Away where nothing ever falters.

Let me down, lay me low.
I'm not above, but crying on the floor.
I'm feeling quite sad,
Mixed up, and dead.
Just **** me, please,
And make the pain end.

I am a wreck-
A hopeless one at that.
I feel like I'm losing
A battle of loose ends.
If I don't stop soon,
I'll just wind up dead:
Suicide to make it end.

My wits are not with me;
They're lying on the floor.
Please drag me on the ground
And hang me by the door.
This war I fight,
I'm fighting alone in.
I know that I will never win.

Listen yo me just one more moment,
You're the last person who could save me...
Or ignore my pain,
And let me own it.

I'm just a ghost,
A rotting mortal shell,
A husk without bones,
The one who speaks uselessly
As he waits for his final death.

I may be just a bit more
Suicidal than before, but
If you listen closely
To the story I dare to tell,
It only
                
               gets

                        


                                                              ­                                                   worse.

Some may say
It's cliche,
A strong "Nay"
Sent their way.

Thoughts circle the drain
As crimson beads follow 'round,
Chasing thoughts to death
Before the body can be found.

A few stray pennies,
A nickel, and a dime-
That's all I'll ever need
To have a good time.

I want no glamourous phone
Or the newest fashion trends.
I only need some crackers-
Just enough to meet ends.

I'm a self-made, messy,
Gay *******.
I don't need any help
But a roadside ditch.

I'm a lonesome self-starter
In search of better days,
But all the good times
Just keep running away.

I just want a few quarters
To start me off right
And a piece of stale bread
To get me through the night.

I want to live in a van,
A ******* tent.
I want a ragged, old RV
I don't even have to rent.

I guess what I'm saying is
You don't have to hold me here,
Trapped against my will
Living in pools of rotten fear.

I can live all on my own
In the middle of the woods.
You can forget about me now
I'll be in the past for good.

I'll leave you alone,
Or I can keep escaping free.
What I'm saying is that
You have no real grasp on me.

I've run away before
I'll run away again.
I will keep on running
'Til I get away in the end.

I don't need you
Or anybody else.
All I need is my mind
My bones, and my ugly self.

I'll leave you for good.
I'm no use to you.
Just set me free already
You will forget about me soon.

Sugar, aspertame, nectar, glucose,
Molasses, syrup, fructose,
All naturally sweet...
But your taste can't be beat.

Your lips are sweeter than honey,
And your words are gentler than silk.
Every granule of sugar you consume
Morphs into your figure's plume.