I’ve learned a lot about people,
This summer has put my perspective in a different direction,
Her name was Andrea,
She was the “Big Sister” in the group,
I confided my heart and soul to her,
I expected a lot of bad reactions,
Yet all I got was love,
My personal favorite,
Pouring out encouragement and “it’ll be ok”,
When ever she would say that it was like a blanket wrapping me in warmth,
On the outside she was strong and kind,
On the inside she was even more beautiful,
Andrea held so many up,
But she kept forgetting about herself,
The day I told her my biggest pain I knew things were gonna change,
Pain was all I was seeming to learn that month,
She was my shield my safety net,
She may have let me fall a few times but she never let me fall alone,
It had seemed my pain was her pain,
I couldn’t seem to understand why she cared so much,
She saved my life,
She will never truly understand how much of a blessing she is,
I’m haunted by bad dreams,
But one text from her can make the dreams a little less scary,
It’s not alright to feel like you’re falling into nothing,
You can learn to fly,
That’s the most valuable thing I’ve learned throughout my 17 years,
I had so many words,
But I had no direction to send them,
My life was falling apart,
The anger that I felt the day she told my biggest secret was unexplainable,
Now I’m starting to understand it was never anger,
It was fear,
The Doctors, Social Workers and my own family turned their backs on me,
I have never felt so empty,
My head felt so heavy,
My heart was empty and my worst fears were coming true,
I held in every bit of emotion for the next couple weeks after,
I would get stares in the hall and think to myself “do they know”,
The week after it was senior formation,
That was a very hard day for me because I had to let go even if I wasn’t ready,
Andrea was ready to go,
I couldn’t hold her back,
So many emotions running through my brain that night,
Only by the grace of god did I have the strength to hold it all in,
I didn’t want to ruin a great night,
It didn’t matter what was going on in my life,
She came first and she still does,
In her mind it’s the exact opposite,
I guess it’s just a sister thing,
I went tumbling down this summer,
Andrea may have let me fall but never once alone,
It seemed as if the pain I was feeling was contagious,
I hated myself for that,
The night that I was assaulted I wasn’t the only one who felt it,
She held it together for me and for that I can never thank her enough,
I never knew how hard it would be for me to be okay again,
It’s a process,
But it’s never something you should go through alone,
If you’re lucky enough you will find someone like Andrea,
I ended up getting pregnant,
My life was not my own at that point,
There were a lot of thoughts going through my mind,
it was a terrifying but an amazing feeling,
I was scared of something I couldn’t even see,
As I grew closer to one month the fear was getting stronger,
I only had one way out I kept telling myself,
I just couldn’t do it,
I didn’t have a right to hurt others,
I was being selfish with my life,
That was the day I understood,
A week after it was just me,
God had given then taken away a child,
I don’t know if that was the right thing for me,
Was it my fault,
I questioned myself for months and still do,
I lost a lot this summer,
My confidence,
My personality,
My soul,
And a child,
I’ve grown so much stronger since then,
I’m starting to smile like I used to,
I’ve learned to celebrate the little things and cherish the big ones,
I can be the one light to make the dark just a little scary for others,
I wanna help people I just don’t know how yet,
Andrea may be rust in her mind,
But to me she is a diamond,
How do you say goodbye to someone who saved you?