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Sep 18 · 155
Rush
Sam Wickstrom Sep 18
Jittery and get it done
Heart says I'm on the run
Only building someone's dream
Saying goodbye to mine slowly
Big belly and I'm ****** cozy
Lay here and regret, go out for a smoke
I want a bigger truck and better luck
Going to buy some lotto tickets and beer

Friends all agree lets be average
Lets sit back like we don't have an itch
Nothing, no really, everything's been alright
Just going to work, getting things done you know

Baggy eyes
Persistent cough
Clicky joints
Pain in the gut pretty often
Let me get you some Tim's
Mcdonalds?
No?
How about a brand new car and a zero dollar down phone!
Bigger house
Bigger TV
Shrinking heart
Withering creativity

Weak.

Pathetic.
Sacrifice
What are most people sacrificing on a daily basis? Time and Energy
Little prizes for sitting still and wearing a smile
Sickness and at least becoming senile before you realize how much has been wasted health for money, then money for health and for more and more distractions from the loss of health

community breaking down

Sleep deprivation

What dreams? I don't even recall having them. (denial)

Time with family

depression and mental illness
Sep 8 · 103
Still
All trying to get somewhere
Your mind has you, lost

Gave you a chance to lie
Now here in, memories rot

Dreams and death reminded me
A smile on my cheeks

Here and gone again I won't mind this misery
So busy loving you that I forgot to be

Still
Sep 8 · 82
Zoomed Too Far Out
To forget is freedom in a mind like mine
You ever ask the tall man if he is happy?

A genius can't deny like the focused one
Cursed connections left abandoned

Although the view is beautiful
Blood painted battlegrounds lie in the background

He shuts his eyes and the mind's stays open
Rest he may, awakens in the dark

Colorful patterns dancing without reason
Pausing to remember a moment seconds past

Why does it move the way it does
Isn't it mathematical as the stars

Why does he think the way he does
In these hypothetical regards

And if time is illusory then what is space
Tears fall from my mind's eye in this lucid dream

Billions in one
One among billions

I looked back from Voyager 1
So ******* obvious that we're all one

Come on now let's go we'll be late
Okay I'll pretend there's not enough on my plate

Paint on Smiles only last for a while
Good luck acting as if you're asleep
The minutes pass like hours
The hours like seconds
This moment is but a memory
And I am the man
Lost in eternity
When did I wake up,
And will I remember everything?
Will I gaze back longingly?
Might I forget that the minutes past like hours
And the years like a falling tear drop?
What was that feeling I had?
I recall an angst, a fear, far off
The way a smell looks so familiar sometimes
I'm lost in time
And here I am, again in reminiscence
It takes patience, or is that just an illusion?
Yet I feel so present in my past
The now is a bygone blur
Rush me again you'll see I'm dead
**** me with your clocks I'm a sleep walker
Let me shut my eyes and rest my weary head
It's been a long day... But tick tock, there's another anyway
Sick and tired of being sick and tired
Melancholic miseries, yet this pleasant ecstasy
That fear far off, I don't mind this time
Here I am again, here I am again
Sep 8 · 99
Freezing Cold
Freezing water on my skin is unobserved while a warm breeze flows through my steady state of detached focus

Comfortable illusions embraced by the tribe, you look to me and see something of a demon, to be feared, yet respected

I stand tall as any man might, my gaze contains an eternal essence, an angel in this creature

A vessel of blood and bones, feels the emotion of an abandoned infant, the alienation of a wolf betrayed by its pack

Continued to climb with broken arms, walked with a shattered heart, intercepting the silence with bitter expressions of being

Once blindness had become so much better than seeing, watching brothers bend beauty to fit a God forsaken form

I look now upon your beaten face without pity, painfully acknowledging the choices you have made

The sounds of war replaced the quiet calmness of the child I used to be

Weeping without recognition, you scoffed at this agony

Now night after night I contemplate our complacency,
wondering when the rivers of blood may awaken the hearts sacred sense of urgency

A soul of the whole world. I watch the floods and flames engulf the stillness that once was, the peace that was taken for granted, now falling down, and heaven cries it's last goodbye
Sep 8 · 35
Live Your Best Life
Nowhere to go, no place to call home
The planet dies and so do I
I work for nothing and yet for everything
My hope is as meaningful as the dope I smoke
I choke back the years and forget the tears
Love falls apart in front of my eyes
The grey color of the sky reminds me of death
I inhale as I take off, I take a deep breath
Nothing left on the ground I take to the skies
Just to turn around, to look back, to realize
We had it all, everything in our grasp, the power of gods
Yet we acted as if the pain was too much
So we sit in complacency, as we lose our agency
Responsibility was paralyzing, in the face of these lies
Holding on to something that doesn't even exist
I notice you living your fantasy, as I watch the world burn
Sep 8 · 127
Time Away
When she holds my hand she squeezes it
When I hug her she takes her time
I can feel how warm my love keeps her
When I'm gone she is too, thinking of me
The time away seems to drain my soul
I look in the mirror and see the loneliness
Yet i wake up smiling and knowing she's in my heart
I don't know how long I can keep up this shirade
Acting like I can be long away and still ok
She says she's head over heels for me
And not afraid to tell her friends
I'm praying this love stays strong and never ends
Because I've had hundreds of friends
Plenty of people come and go, remember me
And can't forget my spark, but never said
Now she's here and I told my buddy
When she leaves for sure I'll be dead
Because now there's a light so bright I tear up
Without her my mind would never clear up
Of memories so sweet I fear, ****
I just couldn't go on acting like I'm fine
Because everytime I see her smile my soul is on fire
If I ever said I don't really care I'd be one **** good liar
Ya this time long away makes me so ****** tired
There's a distinct pinch of pain when I dream of the rain
Kissing her, holding her head in my hands
Feeling her soft lips smile while my eyes are shut
Then my alarm goes off and I think ugh
Time is an illusion and I'll be home soon enough
But really my love, my love this time away is rough
Sep 8 · 92
So They're Gazing
Watching the world burn
I pause motionless for a moment and their heads turn
Who can remain still in this trembling state
Locked into to the grip of deaths embrace
I looked out into eternity and saw no hope
Yet I felt no fear, I held no dreams in my hands
Not a single spark of faith in my mind
Yet the days goes by with a tasteless pain
A senseless thought of what could be
I want to live my fantasies, just like you
But I'm sitting here watching the world burn
Motionless for a moment and I can't care
Caring is painful and my heart can't be breaking always
Fiery flickers of love rip apart my despair
Leaving me burnt and turned to unfathomable misery
All because I saw that our heaven was built on hell
Our worthless wealth, made in China
This disposable planet, soaked in petroleum filth
Could you look them in the eye for a minute
Only to feel the dystopian horror that you call beauty
Trying so hard to express this perspective
Living alone in this lamentable lethargy
If I said nothing, who would rise to break the silence?
Efuse apart from our celebratory mania
Refuse to remain in a myopic mesmerization
A hopeless hypnosis of comfortable mass hysteria
How do you call me confused, when you are conscious?
And if you are merely amused, ponder this poetry
Pity this passing plea for empathy
Sep 8 · 60
Escaping
The madness was relief in time
sadness and over-eat my lies
shut and go to sleep my eyes
forgot this peace of mind
given there's a speed to hide
then I stop so I can really find
moment's pause, a seeming guide
so long I felt out of place
never seemed to fit the game
couldn't ride the high of a chase
chasing the wind and I'm breaking at best
can't seem to remember what
I want to forget
thoughts becoming sweat
I'm scared, yet I can see life as a joke
sit down with the boys, have a ****
But to look me in the eye when I say I broke
A will to fight or create some **** hope
I look around and see the pain
You look around and see it too
look inside it's painfully true
there's a debt, fatefully due
Aug 3 · 95
Dust to Dust
The lies go hand in hand
Minds break like mountains to sand
I'm breathing deep while wishing on a star
Freedom and truth set a burning in my heart
Healing hope from a feeling of life
Remember the essence don't try
Beauty in sight and strength
Tired of playing whack-a-mole
Looking for solutions on a global scale
Will determination prevail?
I fight on the side of the light
While restlessness questions my might
And all the fatigue of an endless night
We used to dream of bigger hearts
Now we dream of running away
If only it could be said clearly
Then more could share the burden
And that suffering would be light
Lies keep streaming live
Keep singing we'll be alright
Poppin bottles, cheers to steady decline
Where is the essential honor to it all
I seek that non shall fall
Yet nature gives not a ****
Let dissociation continue as if deception is not evil
Allow the epic to be forgotten as if there is no good
I ride along in indifference, music playing to set a tone
A tone of eternity and an acceptance of death
Go ahead call me crazy, but I might look into your soul
And find an amusing coincidence, too which you'd have no control
I fly through life like an eagle, seeing it all
Yet confined to repetitions
What is it all anyways?
So I invest in knowledge and relationships
and let the day go on

— The End —